Gone, with the wind blowing at my back.
Gone, Like the heart you once held.
Gone, driving along the freeway in a beat up mustang convertable.
Gone, Like the love songs on the stereo.
Couples around me were screaming their silent happiness through eyes that showed no pity.
I could read your body language. it already told me it was over.
so i watched as you galavanted up, on your classy shoes, in classy clothes. that i once loved.
So i knew it was over, before you told me.
And my eyes screamed back at those coupples around me as, they pretended not to laugh, when they know it will be them soon.
So im driving this car too fast.
Leaving my feelings behind.
Im kicking up my heels.
Watching the dust cover my past.
The breeze is fresh, the sky is blue, and still it seems. im looking out in greyscale view.
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141,424 Literary Works • 674,403 Reviews
This piece flows very smoothly. Those last five lines were spectacular. I agree with the other reviewer--this is powerful and bold. I especially liked the "watching the dust cover my past" bit. I thought your use of the word "galavanted" was more than appropriate. Excellent imagery without overdoing it (teach me your ways, lol). Happy Writing!
Wow.
I really can't say much else.
This was extremely powerful, I really liked how you structured it. Very well worded, and I am highly impressed. Definitely looking forward to more of your work, especially if the rest displays the amount of emotion this poem did.
Absolutely phenomenal, one of my favourite poems now.
From the start, this poem has a strong emotion to it, kind of an edge of your seat, what's gonna happen next feeling that gripped me till the end.
I love this:
I've never thought of it that way, but the emotion is definitely strong enough that it's picture perfect.
Love it! Love to hear more!