... And Life Faded

by dartz123

Published October 24, 2014

16+

In Sorrow And The Human Condition

Warning: This work has been rated 16+.

PreviousNext

There are no more struggles in her lungs

Her heart will sing one final serenade

As her flames slowly de-ignite

As ashes make their fresh manifestation

She is desperate for re-ignition

She is desperate for guidance

As she refuses sound direction

The melodies of a heart slowly drift into shallow waters that evaporate

At the sight of the ancient sun

She is trying to find her way,

But her breath refuses to be dictated by even the shadow of her will

The gates were opened

And her heart was closed

As her spirit left – marking her life’s cessation

Sounding the departure of this ship

Comments & reviews · 4
User avatar
Amnesia
Review
Amnesia wrote a review Review · Oct 26, 2014

This must be one of the most meaningful poems I have seen. It's definately one of the best.
How do you come up with the idea for this?
Please write more.
Im sorry if my fangirl session here is too much 0.0 I cant help it.
Anyways please make more poems like this you have potential and not everyone has that.

Keep writing and good luck :)

~Sam

User avatar
rbt00
Review
rbt00 wrote a review Review · Oct 24, 2014

Hey there! RBT here to review this poem you have written. Applause to your tremendous work there! I can make out the concept you have chosen here and put it all into a poetry form to express your feelings about death. If I am not mistaken. Although, I'd think the poem would flow much better if you would -
Instead of
" Her heart will sing one final serenade'

you change it to

"One final serenade, her heart will sing"

And
"She is trying to find her way,"

"To find her way, she is trying"

Rest all is fine. I guess. Good work there!
KEEP WRITING

Random avatar
lxvxjxpxtrxr
Comment
lxvxjxpxtrxr commented Comment · Oct 24, 2014

I love it. It reminds me of myself, no, mostly my mom. I like how it paints a picture in my head. Beautifully written. I think it's cool that you could fit a lot (meaning I can relate to it) in so little words. Great job. Please keep up the work. You have a true gift.

With love,
~j.rose

Random avatar
dartz123 Comment
dartz123 commented Comment · Oct 24, 2014

For those who are confused, the woman is symbolic of the human race. A woman is usually seen as a symbol of a congregation of people in Biblical theology.

Human beings are this woman, and our current situation on planet earth seems to only be getting worse. We usually refuse to be told that we are in trouble, secrets and conspiracy theories are all over the place.

In this poem we see that the human race always looks for an alternative way to dodge their inevitable doom, so that we can continue the evil things we are busy with. One day however we will come face to face with the Creator, where the gates will be opened.

This poem can be seen as subjective and may relate to people in a various amount of backgrounds. Hope you enjoy it.



I hope that when I am gone, someone still reaches for me like I reach for them
— Leya