Published March 1, 2011
Red is the apple, hanging off the tree,
Orange is the chair, sitting in the corner,
Yellow is the sun, shining bright in the sky,
Green is the grass, swaying in the wind,
Blue is the ocean, so wide and vast,
Indigo is the bird, singing in the bush,
Violet is the flower, growing on the hill.
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140,862 Literary Works • 673,695 Reviews
Thanks guys! I'll keep your suggestions in mind when I write another poem.
such a cute poem about Rainbows
Hi there. Lavvi in to review.
Yeah, this was different. It's kind of cool idea you have. It really reminded me of a Van Gogh (I think?) painting I've seen. The brightly coloured sketch of that room or something? I'm not entirely sure. But the poem came off as bright, coloured vibrantly, perhaps drawings a little simple, but nonetheless interesting in a good way.
Of course, you listing off all the colours of the rainbow does seem to tend to drag on, but I guess there's not much you can do about that.
Vibrant, in the least.
Lavvi
Hey cupcake!
I adore rainbows, so I figured I should take a look at this!
Anyway, one thing I kind of missed was there was no grand climax. It just listed the colors and while the colors were very descriptive and described nice things, it didn't really hold a lot of impact. And the reason for this is it didn't have a sense of urgency or conflict. Now, while poetry doesn't have to have something absolutely dramatic for every subject, it should have at least some sense of motion. One way you can do this is use more captivating verbs.
For instance:
Red is the apple, hanging off the tree, <-- try "dangling"
Orange is the chair, sitting in the corner, <-- try "sleeping"
Yellow is the sun, shining bright in the sky, <-- try "blazing"
Green is the grass, swaying in the wind, <-- try "rushing"
Blue is the ocean, so wide and vast, <-- try using a verb here, like your other guys... maybe "stretching far and wide"
Indigo is the bird, singing in the bush, <-- try "fluttering"
Violet is the flower, growing on the hill. <-- try "weaving down the hill"
By using these interesting verbs, this creates a sense of motion to your poem and can help captivate your readers' attention!
Nice poem.
Thanks guys. Tigersprite, I fixed the typo. Thats all it was, a typo, I didn't mean to miss-spell it.
Hi! First, this is sweet in a way--I don't know if it's just me and the wierd way I like nature and stuff or if it's really ment to be sweet. Second, it's short and simple, very easy to read, and you get a point across. I love the color choices you've put into this and the description of the object afterwards. I love this! You're really good at writing things like this, were as not many people can pull off something short like this without it sounding too short. Keep it up.
~Forsakinshadow~
Rainbow of Life. Rainbow. Not Rainbbow. It's amazing that other reviewers noticed another lesser typo, and not this huge, glaring one.
That aside: I'm Tiger and I'll be your reviewer for today. I hope you're ready, because this may be harsh.
This line, like a few others, sounds like you're just grabbing things out of the air to fill in the space. When one thinks of a "chair", the colour "orange" most certainly does not spring to mind. There's simply no connection between the two. A chair can be literally any colour, and even then the most common colour for a chair (at least a wooden one) would be brown. In talking about rainbows, depict an object tied to that specific colour, not an object that can be tied to any colour.
Technically, when you look at it the sun is white. There's yellow light around it, yes, but orange too. Heck, most often simply white light comes from it.
This is a generalization, just about excusable because most oceans of the world look blue.
This is a bad generalization, seeing as blue is not a common colour for most types of birds.
This is as bad as the line about the colour orange, in that you were just looking for a word to "fit". Flowers come in thousands of different colours, and this is a particularly inaccurate generalization.
All in all, I dislike this poem. It's too short, has no impact or particular meaning, makes no sense in parts (or simply is too general and unspecific), and the fact that you spelt "rainbow" wrong really killed it for me. My advice is this: change it. Expand the poem. Give the colours specific objects. Give this poem some sort of flow, whether in imagery (of which there is nil) or rhyme. Give it those and it is provided with meaning. Give it a meaning, and you've got a poem.
Good luck at your writing, and keep at it,
Tiger.
Hehe, I liked this poem. Short and Simple and Sweet. I like the idea of it, you know, going along with the rainbow. More and more poems are shying away from the rhyme scheme thing and it's refreshing; cat in the hat seemed to be my last straw
Anyways, keep writing because it's very cute!
Hey, thanks guys!
I'd like to begin by saying that I did really like it. It was of course very simple and I'm sure fairly easy to compose but when I had finished reading it I did find it very powerful and pleasant. It was not at all depressing and it was nice to finally read a poem that expressed a positive outlook on life, it is quite easy to write a depressing poem and that is what most people choose to do, I sometimes find myself beginning to compose a sad poem.But I do find it heart warming to read a poem that is happy, sweet and enchanting. You have of course corrected all the typo mistakes so there is no use trying to go into punctuation mistakes. I liked how you did all the colors of the rainbow in order without making it to obvious! There is nothing you can really improve on because it is all very good!I think you have a way with words. Well done!
Keep Writing-------------
-----CuteJackRussell-----
I like it. Simple, sweet, and cute. Good job!
-Liz
Hey guys, Thanks for the reviews. I'll fix the typo now.
Hey there,
One typo and the rest is amazing! As always your poems are simple yet ridiculously cute. Bravo!!!! Keep it up.
xxx Upile xx
Oh, you want 'Blue is the ocean' instead of he.
I like how you take a few different sorts of things and make up a pretty verbal still life.