*This is a very short Christmas story to start off the season. The characters are from stories underneath my folder titled “Adventures of Poppy and others”. Gacha Club character designs are on my wall! I hope you enjoy reading and Happy Holidays!*
Derek grinned throughout the kiss. He could tell that Poppy was happy just from the way she hugged him underneath the mistletoe. This was their moment and their moment alone-
A little girl giggled.
They broke apart from the kids and faced them both.
Their daughter, Carmen, watched them with eager eyes. Her little sister, Maria, smiled up at them.
“You little monsters.” Derek said, walking up to Carmen and ruffling her hair.
“That’s what we are!” Carmen giggled.
Poppy picked up Maria and gave her a kiss on the cheek. The girl responded by wrapping her arms around her neck.
Meanwhile, Derek took Carmen’s hand and walked up to the TV.
One Christmas movie wouldn’t hurt. The others would join them soon.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm Kate and I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to: Kate's Line by Line Reactions;
Ahhh well this is quite an adorable sight to behold right here. Its not often that one manages to find a vampricone work that has a genuinely wholesome ending all things considered and its even rarer that we run into one that is genuinely wholesome the entire way through and this is a particular neat one.
Just two people who appear to quite clearly be in love celebrating this wonderful Christmas with a wonderful little tradition there and at the same time you can see how long they must be together from the number of kids they have and the cute little interaction with the kids too really adds wonderfully to it all with little kisses being given out to everyone. Really feels like a very genuine and adorable little family moment here that truly captures how loving they are for one another.
Overall I think really quite nicely done there, bringing a wonderful moment to life and even if we have little mentions of monsters fr once it all seems to be just out of love and happiness, this family just having a good time.
Aaand that's it for this oneee!!!
As always remember to: Take what you think was helpful and forget the rest!
Kate
This was a really sweet little interlude and a nice start to the festive season! I love the interaction between the characters, specifically the nice family moments between the parents and their children. It would be nice to have a bit of a description of where they are. I assume they're home, but I think you could make the cosy vibes even greater with a description of the setting. Maybe there's a roaring fire - are there more decorations? Twinkling lights?
Looking forward to reading more festive shorts from you this month!
Icy
I think this is a really cute story. I love the dialogue between the characters and I can clearly tell they have a lovely relationship between them. What I recommend is that you don't separate sentences into individual paragraphs when they don't need to be. But overall a wholesome short and sweet story. Nice!