*This story is underneath my folder titled “Oscar and the ducks”. Gacha Club character designs are under my forum titled “My character designs<33[2]”. Enjoy!*
Introduction
MIST HILLS CAMP GROUNDS
Olivier loved nothing more than teaching kids about ducks. There was so much to know and learn about them.
He didn’t want anyone to ever leave him. Olivier had important things to teach.
Important things…
Chapter One
FLASHBACK-MIST HILLS CAMP GROUNDS
Olivier smiled as the ducks swam past their canoe. Going to Mist Hills was the best vacation ever! He only wished that his parents were there…
The canoe stopped. Counselor Rian crumbled up pieces of bread and threw it towards the ducks.
“You’re not supposed to feed them, it’s unhealthy!” Olivier warned. He read in a book that feeding ducks wouldn’t help them at all.
Counselor Rian ignored him. The other boys fed the ducks too.
The ducks were going to die and there was nothing Olivier could do.
Chapter Two
PRESENT DAY-MIST HILLS CAMP GROUNDS
Olivier watched as a group of boys stumbled in.
New souls, new venturers.
His new group.
Chapter Three
Olivier stared at the young, tired boys. They didn’t want to be at nature camp. They’d rather be home, tucked away, hidden from the world. His parents were like that too.
But just like he did before, he’d show them the beauty of nature.
“Come with me, to the duck pond!” Olivier exclaimed, clapping his hands together.
They all groaned, but they would have a change of heart soon.
They would.
Chapter Four
FLASHBACK-CLIMBING OCEAN MOUNTAIN
“You really like this trip, Olivier.” Mom said as they climbed Ocean Mountain. It was called Ocean Mountain from the way the grass swayed in the wind.
“Like it? I LOVE IT!” He exclaimed. He couldn’t imagine anything better than going hiking with his parents in the woods.
“We’re leaving tomorrow. I’m sorry. We can always come back next year.” Mom said.
They were…leaving? Going away? But…they were having so much fun!
“I-“
“We have to leave at some point.” Dad said.
Olivier guessed that it was true, but it still didn’t feel right.
Chapter Five
PRESENT DAY-THE DUCK POND
“Aren’t they beautiful?” Olivier asked. They had finally reached the duck pond. The ducks calmly swam in the water, the wind had a steady air. Olivier took a deep breath and soaked it all. That, that was why he never left Mist Hills. It was too wonderful of a paradise to leave behind.
“Meh.” A boy said. Not a single one was entranced. All looked like they wanted to go home, like they wanted to be far from the camp.
Well then. If they didn’t like the duck pond, then…
Then he had to teach them the other way.
Chapter Six
FLASHBACK-OCEAN MOUNTAIN-THE SHACK
Olivier shouldn’t be up at night. He shouldn’t even be on Ocean Mountain at night. There were wolves howling, crickets chirping, and fireflies sparkling.
It was magical at night.
He wanted to see the mountain one last time, before he left for good.
Then he saw it.
Hidden amongst the bramble of branches was a rickety old shack, a small light in one window.
Chapter Seven
FLASHBACK-OCEAN MOUNTAIN-THE SHACK
No one else was around. No one else could stop him.
Olivier ran towards the house, towards the flickering light in the window.
Who else could be in the woods besides the camp crew?
Chapter Eight
FLASHBACK-OCEAN MOUNTAIN-THE SHACK
Olivier nudged open the door. It looked like a living room, except there was no TV. Just a single couch, a rug, and a man holding a candle.
“W-w-who a-a-are you?” Oliver asked, horror stories of strangers ringing through his head.
“I’m Roman, the founder of Mist Falls camp. Who are you?”
Chapter Nine
FLASHBACK-OCEAN MOUNTAIN-THE SHACK
“My name is Olivier. I found your shack. What are you doing out here?”
“I could ask you the same thing.” Roman said. He laughed lightly.
Roman gently set the candle on the nightstand next to him.
“I live here. This is my home.”
“You live here?” Olivier asked, wide-eyed. He never imagined that anyone lived in Mist Hills.
“Yes, I do. My friends do too.”
“Your friends? Can I see them?”
“Of course.”
Chapter Ten
FLASHBACK-OCEAN MOUNTAIN-THE DUCK POND
Roman had taken Olivier’s hand and led him outside, by candlelight. They had made it to the duck pond, cold wind biting at their ankles.
“They were human once. They didn’t appreciate this place as much as I did, so I made them into ducks.” Roman said.
“That’s not true! Humans can’t be ducks.” Olivier yelled. Roman was getting his facts wrong, just like Counselor Rian did.
“You’re right. I didn’t turn all of them into ducks, that would be impossible. Look up.”
Olivier turned to look up, fear pumping from the back of his head.
Above him were bodies hanging from ropes off tree branches.
Chapter Eleven
PRESENT DAY-MIST HILLS FOREST
“Follow me, boys”. Olivier said, leading them down the forest.
“Where are we going?” One of them asked.
“To an old friend of mine.” Olivier smiled.
They’d love Roman.
Chapter Twelve
FLASHBACK-OCEAN MOUNTAIN-THE DUCK POND
“I hang those that try to run from me.” Roman said.
“Who…who are you?” Olivier asked, backing away.
He hung people and he was crazy enough to think that ducks were once people? Camp didn’t look so fun anymore.
“I’m a witch.” Roman said.
He swirled his hand in the air and aimed it at a rock, which became a pile of wildflowers.
So Roman did turn people into ducks!
But why?
Chapter Thirteen
PRESENT DAY-MIST HILLS FOREST
“Roman? Roman? Where are you?” Olivier asked as he creaked open the door. The inside of the cabin looked much more abandoned than it did the last time he visited.
“Out here, Olivier!” Roman called out from behind the cabin.
Ah, so he was enjoying nature. That made sense.
Chapter Fourteen
FLASHBACK-OCEAN MOUNTAIN-THE DUCK POND
“You can have my powers.” Roman said.
Green mist flew from his hands to Olivier’s chest. Everything around him faded….disappeared…
Dissolved.
Chapter Fifteen
PRESENT DAY-MIST HILLS FOREST
Olivier opened the back door, where Roman, a decrepit old man, sat on a stump.
“Bring me the children.” He said, a pleasant laugh in his voice.
Chapter Sixteen
FLASHBACK-MIST HILLS CABIN
Olivier woke up in bed, sunlight streaming from his window. It seemed as if it were all just a dream.
But he knew better. He knew what to do.
Chapter Seventeen
FLASHBACK-IN THE FOREST
Olivier and his parents were walking in Creed forest, the last thing they’d do before they’d leave. Remembering Roman’s words, he stopped.
“What’s wrong, Olivier? Why aren’t you walking?” Dad asked.
Olivier smiled at Dad, something rarely seen. He raised both hands at him and said:
“I hope you like the pond.”
Then, Olivier imagined a bird with a looped beak…green head, brown feathers…little black eyes….
Mom watched, speechless, as Dad had deformed and deconstructed into…into…into…
A duck.
Chapter Eighteen
FLASHBACK-IN THE FOREST
Olivier chased Mom, leaves crunching underneath his feet. The game wasn’t done yet.
“Got you!” Olivier called out, zapping her.
A rope snaked out of a tree branch and wrapped around Mom’s neck.
She hung limply, lost of life.
Chapter Nineteen
PRESENT DAY-MIST HILLS FOREST
Olivier brought the group of puzzled boys to Roman. Roman smiled at the boys and raised his hands.
The glorious change was beginning.
Chapter Twenty
All around him, the boys screamed as they transformed into ducks, pleasant, quiet birds. Those that ran were hanged by the ropes of Olivier and Roman.
This, this was peace. This was joy.
Roman fell to the ground, dead finally, free finally.
Epilogue
Every year, the boys came and every year, Olivier would carry Roman’s legacy by making them ducks or hanging them off trees. They would learn to love nature and appreciate life.
Nothing would stop him.
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,808 Reviews
Hi, again! Alright, so this one looks like an original story, instead of a fanfiction, which caught my eye. We have Olivier, and the story is following two separate plotlines here. One in the present, with Olivier at this Mist Hills Camp, who loves the ducks on the lake and tries to educate the other boys. The other plotline, in the past, is how he developed this love of nature, and ducks, and how the boys (and his parents) either wind up as ducks or get hanged.I think this is a great spooky story with a unique gimmick, and I like the originality here. I can imagine it as one of those horror movies that are equal parts quirky and funny, and actually kind of scary, like Five Nights At Freddy’s. I think animal transformation powers are so commonly used as a cool superpower, like Beast Boy or Lisanna Strauss, you don’t really think of them as something that could be taken in a negative or scary way. I also just like the premise, this being a somewhat crazy child, so obsessed with ducks and nature, that this becomes his way of getting revenge on the people who disagree. The “stragglers” hanging from the trees was also a neat, creepy detail. Especially when Olivier first met Roman, and imagining how that would look at night, through the eyes of an unsuspecting child.
If I had to say anything for this story, for improvements, I think it’d be the way it’s laid out? Just because it’s already divided between a past and present plot line, and then these really little chapters on top of that, and it feels a little unnecessary. I have seen something like this used by writers with ADHD, like the chapter breaks help them keep focus, so if that’s the reasoning, I can understand it. If not, that’s just how I see it, and I just think it might be a little neater if the story was divided solely between flashbacks and the present time, instead of divided between them AND the mini chapters. Otherwise, I still think the story was pretty good, and I really like your creative vision here. Good job.
Thank you very much!
I do not have ADHD, I just like breaking it up into chapters. I am autistic tho.
Hello! Yes, it's me again, here to write another one of my reviews. If you're wondering where I've been, I took a short break from the site because of school. Yeah, goddamn it, freaking stopping my creativity and whatnot. I come here to farm as much points as possible, so don't mind if it looks like I'm just making comments instead of actually helping. Enjoy!
I've liked the duck series (or maybe Olivier and his ducks series) most out of all your endless creations. Specifically because I only remember this and the Laughing Jack one. I forget the rest. Why you may ask? I'm not really a fan of mental horror, well I mean, I could stand reading about pools of blood any day, but beings psychologically messed up as bad as Jack, well, that's a different story. It's good to see you branching out to these. Please make more series of it, I will read them trust.
On to the tips now, I can only really say that you need to make longer chapters. That's literally it. I've never seen a chapter two paragraphs long, let alone one with four sentences. The only ever other occasion I noticed how short a part of a story is was the time when I was reading "Little Prince". Eh, who am I to judge though? Maybe this writing format is better accustomed for stories like this.
I love the consistency of how you keep the sentences short and sweet. No riddles, no mysteries, just spitting out the facts. I think that suits the theme well, with the additional reason of the prior stories from this series using the same method of writing. Kind of too bad the lineage of these "duck sorcerers" had to end with Olivier though. I wonder what the continuation would be like!
Other than that, I liked this story just as much as the other ones in the series, so once again, keep cooking as best as you can. Thank you for reading this review, have a good day, and cheers!
I write a lot of things that aren%u2019t just horror, so if you want to check out some of my other stories, you can check on my profile and look in my different folders.
Thank you for reading!