*This is not a fanfic. Just a Y/N story with characters of mine. Y/N is gender neutral. Gacha Club character designs are on my wall. Enjoy!*
Chapter One-Midnight Witch
You were in your bedroom, looking out the window. Nothing much was going on in your life…
You were bored and you kept thinking about a teenage girl, who was sixteen years old. She was around your age.
Her real name was unknown. She called herself Midnight Witch. You heard about her all the time on the News. She fought crime and killed villains. She wasn’t a hero, but she wasn’t a villain, either.
You wanted to be just like her. You wanted to kill those who hurt innocent lives. What would the authorities do, anyway?
“Y/N!” You heard your Mom call your name.
“Yes?” You asked.
“Come downstairs,someone special is at the door.” She said.
You walked downstairs…
Chapter Two-A mission
When you got downstairs, to the living room, you couldn’t believe your eyes.
Standing before you was a young girl, with long, black hair that had white highlights in it, a short, black dress, black tights, gray boots with black bows on them, black and gray striped fishnet gloves and a black flower hat. She held a sword in her hand.
“Midnight Witch?” You asked.
She nodded.
“W-What are you doing in my house? Why aren’t you fighting crime?” You asked.
“Because, something horrible has happened and the only person I can get to help me is you, Y/N.” Midnight Witch said.
“What?! Why me?! How do you know my name?! Where I live?!” You asked, shocked.
“I know everything about everyone. Now, sit down. I need to talk to you.” She said.
You sat on the couch, doing as she said, ,too stunned to not listen to her.
This was THE Midnight Witch and now she wanted your help?
Why would she want your help, specifically?
Something was going on around here…
Chapter Three-A disappearance
“A ten year old girl named Eva mysteriously disappeared at a show, where Marina the robot was performing. There is no evidence to explain what happened to her. Now, I’ve heard that you have trained at popular gyms to know how to fight people and now, I need the help of a law-abiding citizen more than ever, because I can’t do it myself.” Midnight Witch said.
You still thought what she just asked of you was weird and that she had a lot more explaining to do, but you weren’t one to turn down an adventure with your idol.
“Sure, I’ll help you. You just gotta make me famous in return.” You said.
She ignored your words. That was fine. She’d have to help you, one day.
Without further ado, you followed her out of the house, excited for the fight of your life.
Chapter Four-A dark message
You and Midnight Witch were already out of the house. Now, you were at a bar, searching for clues.
You went to the bathroom and found a message written in ashes in the mirror:
YOU WILL NEVER FIND HER. SHE HAS GONE INTO THE CANDLELIGHT, FAR FROM YOU FOOLS. SHE IS GONE, LOST TO TIME. LOST TO LIFE. SURRENDER TO
You quickly left the bathroom to go tell Midnight Witch…
Chapter Five-Telling her what you saw
After you told Midnight Witch what you saw, her face darkened and she grabbed your arm.
“This is bad news. We’ve got to find her. NOW!” She yelled.
You followed her out of the bar, excited for your adventure.
Chapter Six-At the show
You and Midnight Witch were at the show, the same place Eva disappeared.
Suddenly, you heard a strange noise. Like footsteps. Like someone other than you and Midnight Witch was here.
“What was that?” You asked her fearfully.
She ignored you, busy focusing on the sound. You rolled your eyes. Fine. If she wanted to be like that, let her be like that.
The sound of footsteps was coming closer now…
Chapter Seven-Something grabs you!
Suddenly, as quick as lighting, something grabbed you!
You didn’t even have the time to figure out what is was that grabbed you or where you were going. That’s how fast it was…
Chapter Eight-Robot
You woke up in a dark auditorium, a robot was staring at you.
Well, what used to be a robot. It had turned into nothing but wires…
A name was on the side of its’ face. It read:
Marina the robot
You reached towards her face, to see if anything would happen…
Chapter Nine-Back Home
You woke up lying in your bed, as though you had only been dreaming.
“Was it all just a dream?” You asked yourself, sad that it could have just been a dream.
You went to the living room and turned on the TV, because there was nothing else to do.
Chapter Ten-It wasn’t a dream
When you turned on the TV, you were surprised to see that Midnight Witch had gotten the culprits in jail. A man with flames for a head who called himself: ”The Candle Man” and his balding assistant.
Eva got justice on her murderer.
But…why were you there and how come Midnight Witch didn’t mention you when she saved the day?
It was if she didn’t care about you and just wanted you to join so she could hurt your feelings.
All you could see in your eyes was red. Your idol, your hero, betrayed you. Didn’t even acknowledge your existence.
You clenched your fists…
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,029 Literary Works • 672,781 Reviews
Let's be honest, this story had everything from awkward dialogue to confusing plot twists. However, as a reader, I couldn't help but be entertained by the absurdity of it all. For one, the main character, who seems to have no discernible skills or talents, is inexplicably sought out for help by the infamous "Midnight Witch." And let's not forget the random disappearance of a ten-year-old girl and her connection to a robot named Marina.
But the real kicker was the dramatic message written in ashes in the bathroom mirror, warning our heroes that the missing girl was "lost to time" and "surrendering to" what? We'll never know because the message was cut off before we could finish reading it.
Despite the lack of clear explanations and plot holes galore, I couldn't help but admire the protagonist's tenacity and willingness to go on this wild ride with Midnight Witch. However, the ending left me with mixed feelings. On one hand, justice was served, and the bad guys were put in jail. On the other hand, the fact that Midnight Witch didn't even acknowledge the main character's existence felt like a betrayal.
Overall, even though this story was a mess, it was a fun and ridiculous mess. The kind of mess that makes you laugh and roll your eyes at the same time. I can't wait to see what other adventures arise in this world of Midnight Witch and her questionable recruiting methods.
Hello friend!
I saw your work in the Green Room and figured I’d check it out.
Per my interpretation, this was a very fast-paced and action-packed story.
It follows the story of a person called Y/N, who is recruited by Midnight Witch to help stop the culprits of a crime. But when it comes down to it, Midnight Witch betrays Y/N and doesn't uphold her end of the deal.
This is a fun and interesting plot that I enjoyed reading!
If I could offer any sort of advice, it would just be something small! I didn't notice too much wrong, but there was just one thing you did where you added an extra comma.
And then later on, you did it again. I don't know if this was intentional, but I think it would make more sense with just the one comma.
But, obviously, this is just a suggestion, and it's always up to the writer, so please take this criticism lightly and know that I mean nothing negative by it—only trying to provide a somewhat useful critique.
If I had to pick my favorite part, it would probably be how fast-paced this was!
Normally, that's a bad thing, but you managed to pack all of the necessary details in without making it too long, which is awesome that you were able to do!
I also really liked the way you ended this with the final sentence:
I don't know if this is something you're planning on doing, but I feel like that sets this up perfectly for a part two. And even if there's no part two, the little cliffhanger makes a perfect spot for reader interpretation, so kudos to you for doing that!
Overall, I thought this was really good and a lot of fun to read! I would be interested if you continued this story, but I also think it makes sense if you decide not to. It works well as a cliffhanger and as an ending!
Thank you for taking the time to write and post this, and I look forward to checking out more from you!
Goodbye for now! I hope you have a magnificent day (or night) wherever you are!