*This is the last story under my folder titled “Midnight Witch x Y/N”. Gacha Club character designs are under my forum titled “My character designs<33”. I might add more lore but I’m not sure yet. Regardless, I hope you enjoy!*
The feared demon known as “The Candle Man”, a man in a purple suit with a candle flame for a head who haunted a movie theater, needed someone else to help him on his adventures to kill young girls. He only got one. A fifteen year old named Stacy. Other girls were able to escape him. He needed to get more. His powers would grow and change, yet somehow, he never got any girls.
He had been watching a ten year old named Eva Leroux and she and her family loved going to the movie theater. He wanted to be sure to capture her, for her happiness reminded him of Stacy, and after all, Stacy was the one who created him from her deepest fears and all of her hatred towards her family, who she didn’t feel particularly close to.
From his mind, he imagined a balding short man in a purple suit that was similar to his to help him on his plans. He would look like a simple man, a sweet man. A trusting man.
When the man was created and looked up at him, the Candle Man said:
“It’s nice to meet you, Joshua.” The Candle Man let a smile (or what was close to a smile with his flame appearance) creep up his face.
Joshua nodded curtly. The name Joshua was perfect for someone who had a benign exterior, for someone who could extend a helping hand.
Though the Candle Man could sense Joshua’s consciousness bubbling through, if given the right guidance, Joshua would be a perfect asset.
And though Joshua could feel the violence seeping in the Candle Man’s soul, he said nothing. The Candle Man created him. The Candle Man was right.
Wasn’t the Candle Man good?
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,029 Literary Works • 672,781 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm Kate and I'm here to leave a quick review!!
First Impression
Well this was quite the little piece, it seems the candle man being unable to the kind of victims he wanted is branching out and getting a bit of a sidekick to help him out.
Anyway let's get right to: Kate's Line by Line Reactions;
Oh well this is interesting. The Candle is definitely a memorable horror and it seems despite all the powers he has he only trapped one person successfully although it looks like that's about to change.
Well it looks like the tricking process is about to start here. So far things all seem neutral but I'm sure the further we go into this the more we're going to start to see here.
Ooooh well looks like we've had a bit of a sidekick situation being created and some rather evil influencing is going on to make Joshua think that everything is okay when in fact is it not.
Aaand that's it for this oneee!!!
Overall
Overall a powerful little tail, really builds up the tension of what the candle man is going to do and of course about Joshua and if he will ever escape the candle man's clutches.
As always remember to: Take what you think was helpful and forget the rest!
Kate
Nice story written by the author.
First things first: This is a nice story, but I still think there can be a few improvements. You can make the story a bit longer and also a bit clear, as suddenly a man named Joshua is introduced, you could have set up a bit of background for Joshua's entry into the story.
Second things second: Your plot is amazing, all the fantasy creatures, like the 'candle man', I like it. It captures the readers' attention so quickly, and you left the story at such a turn, I am craving to know more. Well done.
Keep it up.
Waiting for more.
Thank you.
So glad you enjoyed!
Hello Hello, I hope you dont mind me popping in with a quick review. I am sorry if I get something wrong It's been a while since I've read from this series so my memories might be a bit foggy. However, at this point, you know my opening by heart. So let's get into it, shall we?
Overall I found this an interesting but short piece it seems we have a bit of scheming going on. The candle man seems like a very formidable foe with some fun powers. In a way, he comes off like a mix of Pennywise and Boggarts from Harry Potter. This could lead to some good opportunities with scares and will for sure create some distrust in Eva.
Much like Ley, I am very curious why he cant capture girls despite getting stronger. Although I have a feeling that this new lore you brought up in the author's note will bring some answers, I guess we will just have to wait and see.
Now I want to move on to feedback, it will be pretty light this time around. As always I want to say I am not a professional nor do you have to use anything I say. You are the author after all.
Other than the few things Ley has brought up there is only one thing I want to bring up. Fair warning, it is pretty knit-picky.
The second said is a bit redundant since it is clearly stated that he said something in the line before it. I would change it to something like this instead.
Also, I think the candle man in the first line should be capitalized.
Regardless of those two small things, I think this was a good update. Thank you for taging me by the way. As always stay creative and remember to drink water! ( Dehydration is the true horror here)
Hello! Ley here to review this delightful work for you. Today, I’ll be using my 'Autumn-Themed Review Template'! We’ll begin with my initial impressions, then delve into the aspects that stood out like the vibrant hues of fall, and then get into the critiques. I hope you find this review insightful, and that you're enjoying the cozy charm of autumn, wherever you are in the world! Let’s dive in!
The First Signs of Autumn
Back for another review! Let's get into it, shall we? This one looks exciting and I can't wait to tell you my thoughts :3
A Golden Harvest
The Candle Man is such a unique and terrifying character. I also love that he haunts a movie theater; it's such a fun and unexpected setting for something sinister!
The whole idea of Stacy creating him from her fears is super interesting. It makes the story deeper because now it's not just about a monster, but it's also about how that monster came to be because of someone’s emotions. Love it!
Stacy being the reason he exists adds a layer of intrigue--like, what's their relationship now? Does she still fear him, or is there some weird connection between them now that she's created him? It would be awesome to dive into her feelings about him more as the story goes on, if you decide to continue this!
Wilted Leaves and Crisp Critiques
One thing I'd love to see a bit more of is why the Candle Man is struggling to capture the girls. You mention that he's getting stronger, but for some reason, he can't get them, which is interesting but also a little vague. Maybe a little more detail or a hint about what's holding him back could make that clearer. Other than that, I have no other critiques! I really loved this whole premise.
Cozy Conclusion
Overall, I really enjoyed this! You never fail to come up with the craziest, intriguing ideas and this one didn't disappoint! Thank you for posting, and happy RevMo!