*These are additional chapters to my story “Cemetery angels can love too [Part One] 🖤🗝️🪽”. This is under my folder titled “Cemetery angels”. Gacha Club character designs are under my forum titled “My character designs<33[2]”. Enjoy!*
Chapter Nine-Hurts so much the bleeding feels like burning
The two of them were walking down the upper part of the hallway, towards where the attic was. Since they weren’t being rushed, Tessa could take the time to look at all of the paintings of Gehenna’s family, from Grandparents to parents, Aunts to Uncles and all those married into the family. Tessa never thought about it before, but looking at all of the pictures, she remembered that every person a Marwood married was from out of town. It was as though they didn’t want someone who knew of their terrible deeds to become apart of the family, like they thought the person would somehow put a stop to all of the sacrifices that were occurring. Even though the people in town didn’t know that sacrifices were happening, they still had an idea that something macabre was going on and did their best to warn their children.
Oh, but they should have warned the children better, because being taken away on a starlit night to a manor doesn’t sound menacing. It sounds like a fairytale adventure, a night of buoyancy! If only everybody knew of the sacrifices, then it all could have ended, then…
“What are you two doing?! Who is this girl, one of the unenlightened townspeople? Gehenna, you can’t kiss anyone who lives here! They’re only good for sacrifices!” A voice screeched.
Taliyah didn’t even have time to turn around before she was roughly grabbed by the arm and snatched out of the bush, thorns scraping her hands. Gehenna’s eyes went wide, riddled with a kind of ghost-whit fear Taliyah had NEVER seen on her or on anyone, for that matter. Gehenna’s mouth was open in horror and-
“Mother, you can’t take her away! I love her, I really do and I…I’d never be happy again if you took her! And if you are cold enough not to care that I love her, then consider this: She’s too old to be sacrificed! She’s a girl of sixteen! You wouldn’t give away a sixteen year old, would you? I lo…Please, mother, let her go. Don’t give her away.” Gehenna said, her voice cracking, her eyes stained with tears.
But she shouldn’t cry, because it wouldn’t be the end. Taliyah was going to break out of the woman’s hold and run away with Gehenna, she just had to step on her foot and then-
“We’ll talk about this later. Come on, Aurelius. The Starlit Angels are waiting.” The woman said to a man standing next to her, whom Taliyah assumed was Gehenna’s father just from he looked at Gehenna, just like how the woman looked at her: Complete, unwavering disappointment.
Taliyah tried to step on the woman’s foot, to shake herself away from the woman’s grip, but she couldn’t move! She tried screaming and found that she couldn’t do that either! It would rise in her throat and die right when she was about to let it all out.
So, Taliyah could only be dragged away as she watched Gehenna struggle against the branches and brambles, trying her hardest to get to Taliyah.
They had reached the second set of stairs, narrow ones that Tessa was sure would reach the attic. They had to walk in single file line, but still held one another’s hand as though they worried the other would slip away…
They all slashed and stabbed every inch of her, blood spilling out of Taliyah’s throat and onto the floor. Soon, they’d leave her alone, but it wouldn’t matter, because she’d be all tied up and too weak to run. Their faces were blurred and indistinguishable, the only face she recognized was that of Gehenna, who was being held back by an Aunt. She tried to break free, but the Aunt was stronger, holding her down…how were they all so strong that they could keep the girls apart? Or were the girls just hopelessly fragile? Was there any chance of it all being stopped? Why…why…
Gehenna opened the door and the both of them were overwhelmed by the scent of mildew covered in dust, secrets kept locked away from any prying eyes.
Chapter Ten-Our hearts are attached
The windows were covered with white curtains, but Tessa could still see the blinding white light of the moon and stars outside.
She and Gehenna had gotten to the attic hours ago, leading through magic books that ripped apart, searching for a spell or a ritual that would save the children from the Hell that the Starlit Angels put them through.
But they still couldn’t find anything that seemed worthwhile and Taliyah was really starting to wonder if the stars outside were getting brighter or if it was just her imagination. How long would it be before the Starlit Angels found her and took her away, burned through her flesh just like they did last time, paying no mind to her gargled, not-quite screams and…and…
A hot pink book with white cursive letters titled: “Poems for those too deep in dreams to care” caught Tessa’s eye. It was a brighter cover than all of other books in faded reds, purples, blues, and greens, but that wasn’t what mainly drove Tessa’s attention.
No, it was the author of the book, called “Clellon Marwood”. Marwood? Maybe it was a coincidence, but was he a member of Gehenna’s family? Sure, it was a book of poems and not a magic book, but that didn’t mean that it wasn’t helpful, right? Maybe if Tessa took a look at it, she might just find the answer. It wouldn’t hurt to check and go off instinct, right? Right.
So, Tessa grabbed the book and leafed through the poems, searching for any that might lead to clues on stopping the Starlit Angels. Because that was what she was looking for, right? Clues on how to stop the Starlit Angels? She needed to find something that looked like it would be helpful, something that might have had information…if it was there. Maybe she was being unrealistic. Maybe she should go back to looking through the magic books. After all, what good could a poem do? Maybe she was desperately trying to convince herself of something that wasn’t possible. Maybe-
“Starlit Angels
The Starlit Angels are mysterious things
They come only when the sky is bright, but in the dead of night
They reach out for the little children
Take them all the way up, where they’re not a burden
Not a soul can ever see them again
But if they take a piece of themselves
And raise it to the Starlit Angels
Surely, they’d go to that beautiful sky
They’d see those children, where they’d hide”
Tessa read over the poem again. Then again. Ideas were forming loosely from the written cursive words on the parchment, but first:
“Gehenna, come look at this!”
Gehenna rushed over from the other side of the room, through piles upon piles of books, then, Tessa showed her the poem once Gehenna got to her.
Tessa watched, biting her nails, as Gehenna read through the poem, her eyebrows scrunched as she read through the words. Were any ideas coming to her mind, like with Tessa? Did it mean anything at all?
“Who would write something like this? This describes the Starlit Angels and what they would do perfectly!” Gehenna exclaimed.
Before Tessa could even answer her, Gehenna looked at the cover, one claw still on the page so that she wouldn’t lose her place.
“It’s written by one of my Great-Uncles! I’ve heard of him, but I never met him…come to think of it, I never met my Great Aunts and Uncles. There were six of them. Three Aunts and Three Uncles. They were all siblings, but that’s it. That’s all I know about them. It’s weird, because my family would make it a habit that we’d all know everything about each other. Also, what does this poem mean about “taking a piece of themselves and raising it to the sky”? Those are nice and flowery words, but what does it mean?” Gehenna asked, running one claw through her curly black hair.
Well, they could raise their hands to the sky. But the Starlit Angels took children, so wouldn’t they have to give something up in return? The hands would just be connected to their arms…unless…maybe…
“The stick you used for the ritual holds both of our hearts and our necklaces, right? What if we took that stick, went outside, then raised it towards the sky? Do you think that would work? Do you think that would help us get the children back?” Tessa asked, hoping that her idea wasn’t too far-fetched to be real.
Gehenna leaned against a desk in the room, her eyebrows creased as though she were thinking it over, her dark eyes lost in thought. Tessa waited, not daring to say a word from fear of breaking her train of thought.
“I think it could work! It has our hearts and necklaces, which both belong to us. We could go outside and give it a try! Come on Tessa, let’s go!” Gehenna beamed, making her way out to the door, just like she did the whole time, like she was anxious to fix it all, to save it all.
But she didn’t need to panic anymore because they had one another. They’d make their short time together count. They would right the wrongs.
So, Tessa got up and-
“Gehenna, wait. Just a moment.” Tessa said, grabbing hold of Gehenna’s claw.
Gehenna turned around, her eyes still sprinkled with the glimmer of excitement from all the positive possibilities given to her, yet calm enough to wait and listen for Tessa’s words. Her curly hair cascaded around her face like the curtains in the house that flowed mystically with the wind, just like the gowns Gehenna wore, just like the fluttering of angel wings.
In that moment, Tessa could see that Gehenna’s eyes were so, so big. As big as Gehenna’s own heart, as big as the weight Gehenna carried on her shoulders, as big as the eyes of Tessa’s porcelain dolls. Gehenna’s eyes were only brown, but still, Tessa could sometimes catch hints of amber in the chocolate jewels, like dried leaves on an autumn day, overlooked by passerby, but in abundance for two months. One had to cherish the beauty before it faded away to bareness in the winter…
“Can I kiss you, since they broke us apart the last time? I think we should share a kiss, because who knows what may happen now?” Tessa asked.
Gehenna smiled, but it seemed more delicate and dainty than before. It matched her big eyes and curly hair perfectly, it brought out the doll-like quality of her…
Then Tessa could feel Gehenna’s soft, full lips against her own and even though there was still remnants of blood, even though the lips were hiding fangs, Tessa could feel it inside of her and see right before her eyes that Gehenna was a real angel, more so than the Starlit “Angels” ever would be.
Tessa wasn’t sure of many things, but that one thing, she was absolutely certain on.
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Canary word: Present
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Hiya, it's Lim again with a short review!
It looks like the story is ramping up, with the girls now having a plan. I thought the kiss scene was really sweet (though it does make me worry what's going to happen next!)
Something I thought was powerful is how you've chosen to reveal the scene where Taliyah was actually killed here and emphasise the human involvement. I had been expecting to see the Starlit Angels kill her somehow, but I like that the human antagonists are highlighted, specifically Gehenna's family whose cruelty definitely makes me sympathise with Gehenna and with Taliyah.
I did feel like the book of poems came a little out of nowhere? When I read that part I kind of wished that there had been more foreshadowing, or maybe more of Tessa and Gehenna having to investigate to find the solution to their problem. I just feel like it would be more satisfying or interesting if there was more of an obstacle (if this does turn out to be what solves the problem).
Another thing I liked about this part was the pacing of the last scene. I could tell that from "Gehenna turned around, her eyes still sprinkled . . ." the descriptions were getting more lavish, which created the sense of time slowing down or a scene being shown in detail. I like how the descriptions concentrate on Gehenna's expression and describe her appearance in an ethereal way, as it shows Taliyah's feelings for Gehenna. And I like the line about Gehenna being the real angel closing off the scene.
Overall, this chapter made me feel sympathy for Taliyah and Gehenna and also feel the extent of Taliyah's love for Gehenna, which was moving. I wonder how their plan will play out, if the ritual will actually work, and if any other problems will crop up for them along the way.
Hope this helps, and keep writing!
-Lim
So glad you enjoyed! I have more under my folder %u201CCemetery angels%u201D.
Hey, creeperfeverdreams! This is Alex, back with a review on the remaining chapters of part one of this series. Let's dive right in!
Chapter 9
This chapter had the flashbacks of the scene that actually went down during Tessa's sacrifice. It's like they're replaying in both of their heads ss they make their way to the attic. The detail of the ropes tying down Tessa and her being suddenly immobile were particularly unsettling. It's so traumatizing to witness Gehenna plead to her parents but her words fall on deaf years. They overlook even the logic she presents and do not care for their daughter's wishes of being with Tessa at all. The fact that she was made to watch Tessa being sacrificed is so devastating- even imagining this breaks something in me. It was interesting to note the family's tendency of marrying outsiders, it makes sense given they exploit the townsfolk as sacrifices. They want someone unaware of their ways, so that they don't get in the path. Other than the clarification of the past events, I believe this chapter was more of a filler and didn't live up to the previous ones which advanced the stor, along with unveiling the past. It did not have much individual plot of its own- something I'd have preferred to have a little more of.
This said so much, wrapped in it's subtlety. The toll the enforced severance had on both of them is so evident here. It has made them extra cautious and more afraid of losing each other, as they once have in the past. They hold onto each other as they can't bear to go through the trauma all over again. A completely soul crushing consequence of the torture, as if their souls are blemished forever.
Some words seem missing here. I think you meant-
Taliyah assumed was Gehenna’s father just from the way he looked at Gehenna.
Considering the other words you use here are adjectives, I believe 'disappointed' would fit here better as disappointment is an abstract noun.
This needed a 'as/when' after the word 'right'.
Chapter 10
Cheesy but a classic way to end! It's so befitting though, can't hold it against you.
Again, I genuinely applaud how you portray your characters so realistically, even for a supernatural theme! I love how Tessa checks the poetry book but is brimming with uncertainty of really something in there, but doesn't want to make any chances. Also, writing an entire poetry for the story is so commendable, colour me impressed! The narrative is so understandable as both of them take their time to what the poem's words may really imply. It comes to Tessa like a bolt of lightning, but Gehenna thinks it over herself if it actually makes sense. I must admit the idea was rather neat, as the reader is already aware of the hearts on the stick from one of the previous chapters. The language of the poetry is also vague enough to leave room for some liberties, yet specific enough to fill the description of the offering the girls are about to make.
The way Tessa describes in the closing lines is so enchanting to read. She's spellbound by love, anyone can tell from how beautifully she sketches the details about Gehenna. Big eyes that seldom turn amber, flowy hair and their her angel traits overshadowing the blood on her lips and the latent fangs- are all details that scream peak beauty. Great job capturing their tender love so well!
Overall, an endearing story to spread. I had a good time reviewing this, hoping I get a chance to read the second part very soon.
I%u2019m glad you enjoyed this!! I wanted their love to be evident without it seeming forced!