Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence and mature content.
*This story is underneath my folder titled “Paranormal showgirl”. Gacha Club character designs are under my forum titled “My character designs<33[2]”. Enjoy!*
During the 1800s, there lived a woman named Queen Clara Albrecht, who ruled over her Kingdom with a deep, deep heaviness in her heart. Many years ago, when her son, Prince Cesare Albrecht, was born, her husband, King Cathan Albrecht, had died out of a mixture of health complications and overwhelming joy for a child of his being born.
Queen Clara had loved King Cathan ever since they were children and she always knew that he had problems with his health, but she hoped that it would let him live a little bit longer than twenty-four.
Ever since she was a little girl, Queen Clara had felt a hollowness in her heart, as though something fundamental were missing from her life. She thought that marrying Cathan would make her happier, but the hollowness persisted and right after he died, it had grown stronger, more overwhelming than before, as if it wanted to twist her body inside out.
She had kept thinking that maybe it was because of her wealth that she hadn’t felt the happiness of whatever the peasants had, so she thought that maybe executing a few that wanted her to do more for them would make her feel better.
But Queen Clara still felt misery and yet, she didn’t know how to make it go away. Prince Cesare didn’t seem to have much happiness either, from how he looked at the peasants as lowly, unworthy creatures and how he wanted something more than what they had.
She wanted it too, but she didn’t know what it was. It nagged and irritated the back of Queen Clara’s mind, the desire for something bigger, something that meant more, until-
One day, on Prince Cesare’s twenty-sixth birthday, the elderly royal witch, Josephine, suggested to the Albrechts that they invite every single person in the town to come over to the palace and that she would look for the happiest people there, then kill them and give their energy over to the Albrechts.
It seemed like a good idea and Prince Cesare was going to turn twenty-six soon, so, Queen Clara decided to invite everybody in the town for his birthday and Josephine had promised to find only the most joyful people for them.
When the party had begun, Queen Clara and Prince Cesare deliberately went into the halls that no one else was in, planning to interact with no one unless it was somebody Josephine gave to them.
As the hours slogged on and Josephine still hadn’t given them any souls, Queen Clara’s small spark of hope was beginning to fade in the vastness of her moroseness, but she didn’t dare anything to her son, for she still wanted him to believe for the best, to-
“Here is the soul of a little girl that I trapped in a doll. She wasn’t too poor, so she still had her innocence. She’ll do well to keep you both happy.” Josephine said.
They were in a stone hallway, illuminated by stain glass windows that reflected the moonlight, when Josephine had presented them with a blue-eyed porcelain doll dressed in a white dress adorned with pink roses, her golden hair in pigtails tied back in pink bows, her eyes all-too-alive.
It was a specialty of Josephine’s to find energy in anything, particularly in people and Queen Clara didn’t have any doubt with Josephine’s ability, for she saw how alive the doll’s eyes were and even as someone who wasn’t magical herself, she could feel that there was something deeper to the doll, something beautiful, something that she never had in her whole life, even as a child and yet, she couldn’t believe that it was only mere inches away from her, not too far, not out of reach, not-
“What is this talk about murdering our daughter?!” A man cried out, jumping from the shadows, a woman right by his side.
They both didn’t look very rich and they both had expressions of sheer horror on their faces that made Queen Clara guess they were the girls’ parents, but she couldn’t quite make out much of the features on them. They seemed to be the same as everyone else Queen Clara ruled over and in fact, she felt a flicker of irritation at their presence, because just how did they find her and the Prince? They weren’t supposed to be there, they were supposed to be at the party. And they should have been more accepting of death too, because they weren’t royalty and more prone to experience it. They should have been used to it instead of bothering her and her son for wanting happiness.
They were running towards her, about to get their grubby hands towards her and the others. They were running at an alarmingly fast speed, tears and snot running down their faces. Queen Clara would punish them later, certainly, but she didn’t want an ounce of them to touch her, so how would she be able to get rid of them without pushing them aside, without using her hands, without-
“If the both of you cared so much about Fleur, then you both must have been very, very happy. Your happiness will help the Albrechts.” Josephine said, extending her hands out towards the adults and ripping them apart with just her magic.
Fleur. Fleur was her name. Josephine had brought them a little girl named Fleur and so, they would use her happiness to satisfy them both, along with the ghosts of her parents, as Josephine had recommended they do.
For a few years, the Albrechts felt some of the emptiness of the past sorrows ebb away from them as they used the energy of Fleur and their parents, ignoring the screams of their souls, but then, it was only a small amount of bad feelings going away. They still weren’t quite whole and Queen Clara wanted them all to be truly happy, like the characters that she had read about in fairytales, like how she was with King Cathan, but slightly more than before and so, she asked Josephine what could be done to make them feel better.
She told the Queen that she would use the soul of Fleur as a compass to find her house and then, they would take the happy energy left from the house and have an unlimited supply of true fulfillment. Of course, that would mean that there would be no one left to rule her town and that there would be discontent among the citizens, but then, she asked Queen Clara what she thought was worth more: Her town or the potential for more happiness.
Queen Clara always had wealth, always had everything, but she never had true optimism and the desire to have something that she could only ever dream of was all too strong, so she and her son followed Josephine to their house, where they joined hands with Josephine as she sucked out the house’s energy and transferred it to them, every single day, the both of the Albrechts ignoring their town in favor of themselves, pining after a happiness that still didn’t feel like enough and then-
One night, Queen Clara heard a thud in the library. She rushed up from bed towards the sound and screamed as she found Prince Cesare’s body lying twisted and bloody on the ground, his eyes wide and glassy like a doll’s. Her mind raced as she tried to come up with a reasonable explanation for why he looked the way he did on the ground, all lifelessly displayed.
Josephine appeared next to her and said that the ghosts of the girl’s parents had killed Prince Cesare as an act of revenge and that it couldn’t have possibly been Fleur, for Josephine had locked Fleur in what used to be her bedroom and the violence of his death could have only been done by two furious adults.
Queen Clara was tempted to go back to her palace, for she didn’t know how the house could have energy with her dead son, but Josephine had rested a wrinkled hand on hers and reassured her that she would trap the parents’ spirits in the library so that they could not hurt them, that the house still had joy to take and that there was no point in coming to the palace, as it would be in ruins after what the peasants may have done to it.
Her heart felt more heavy than before, as she had no family left, but truthfully, she didn’t see how her life would be any better in a vast palace, ruling over a town that hated her, that complained far too much to the point where it screeched in her soul even in the dead of night, so, she agreed to stay, for Josephine was one person who hadn’t wronged her, one person she could trust besides her own family.
Maybe Josephine could find a deeper hopefulness in the house for Queen Clara. Maybe, if she didn’t give up, then she would get the happiness that she looked for her entire life.
She’d do it for herself, for King Cathan, and for Prince Cesare, those she loved who didn’t deserve to be gripped away so horribly and inappropriately from her.
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Hello again, creeperfeverdreams! It's Cheerio! Here for another review.
Funny enough in my review on your last work, I mentioned that I would be interested in seeing how the Queen reacted to Prince Cesare's death. Looks like I spoke too soon. I'm glad this story gives Queen Albrecht's POV.
Here's what I liked:
- The POV (as mentioned above)
- A glimpse into how long Queen Clara has been feeling this hollowness inside her.
- Her evident love for her son and husband
Here's what could use some tweaking:
- Some sentences are a bit long. I'd suggest just making them shorter to help with the flow and so that the reader doesn't feel like they're running out of breath. One way I like to do this is reading my work aloud. If I feel that I'm running out of breath while reading, then I should probably condense the sentence or keep everything and break it up into multiple sentences.
- Sometimes I feel it would help to explain how the energy works (unless you've already done that elsewhere and I'm just late to the party, lol)
For example, "Queen Clara was tempted to go back to her palace, for she didn’t know how the house could have energy with her dead son,"
I wasn't quite sure what this meant but understood at the same time. SO a bit more clarity would have been greatly appreciated here.
More thoughts:
Part of me wondered how the Queen was going to deal with the death of her son since she already craved happiness so much. Like I said before, I'm very intrigued and I can't wait to read more of your works.
Keep writing! Practice make permanence!
Your fellow writer,
~ Cheerio.
The storyline is very attention-catching and good! I hope you can keep writing. There is lots of descriptive writing. My favorite part is
They both didn’t look very rich and they both had expressions of sheer horror on their faces that made Queen Clara guess they were the girls’ parents, but she couldn’t quite make out much of the features on them. They seemed to be the same as everyone else Queen Clara ruled over and in fact, she felt a flicker of irritation at their presence, because just how did they find her and the Prince? They weren’t supposed to be there, they were supposed to be at the party. And they should have been more accepting of death too, because they weren’t royalty and more prone to experience it. They should have been used to it instead of bothering her and her son for wanting happiness.
It is very good because it had great description and it was funny how they had expressions of horror on their faces for me. KEEP WRITING I LOVE IT!
Thank you, I will!