Rush: Prologue

I don't know what I was expecting. Everything was supposed to be perfect. My life has been perfect until this moment, I don't know how to handle something like this.

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Snoink
Review
Snoink wrote a review · Sun Jul 25, 2010 9:06 pm

Hey cpopkin!

I think you're getting some terms mixed up! A prologue is basically a chapter that doesn't seem to go with the rest of the story which is put in front. This isn't a chapter!

The term you want, I think, is called "the hook." The hook is basically the first couple of lines that lead you into the story. A good hook is absolutely essential to the story, so it's good you're asking about this! :) Also, don't worry about readers having an idea of what's going to happen next! Eventually, they're going to know, so why not sooner than later? ;)

As far as this goes? It's interesting, but it needs a bit more... personalization. Like, when I read this, I know that the character is going through a hard time and everything. But I don't know why. So, in your hook, you probably want to lead your reader on to something more specific. But this is a good start.

Keep going! :d

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StellaThomas
Review

Hey Popkin, welcome to YWS! Stella here!

Alright this is... insanely short! I mean, insanely! As Eliza said, prologues are supposed to be, but not this short! It's nice as it is, my worry would be that you don't really give us much idea of the plot. As in, I have no idea where you're going, which isn't necessarily a good thing. This could be the most clichéed story in the world, or it could be the most original. But the opening in itself, is a little clichéed. "My life has been perfect?" How many people's lives are perfect, really?

I think that you should expand on this, give an idea of what has happened. Give us a taste for the rest of your story. Because that's what beginning is all about, right?

Hope I helped, drop me a note if you need anything!

-Stella x

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Eliza:)
Review
Eliza:) wrote a review · Sun Jul 18, 2010 8:41 pm

This is a good beginning, but it is way too short. Prologues aren't suppose to be long, but they should at least be a few paragraphs, not a few sentences.

My life has been perfect until this moment, I don't know how to handle something like this.

This is a run on sentence. Instead of a comma, there should be a period.

Everything was supposed to be perfect. My life has been perfect until this moment, I don't know how to handle something like this.

Try to use another word besides perfect.

Even though the prologue is short, it is still a good hook. It makes the reader want to read more. It is definitely mysterious.



Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
— Mark Twain