the moon

I must say that this is a great poem in my eyes. The tone of this poem is lovely, in a warmhearted way. The moon is a great symbolization of watching seeming as though night time is a time of rest and visualization. I also like the surprise (well that's what it is to me lol) the surprise of daddy. In other words, I didn't realize that it was a son/daughter reminiscing of how their father would gaze at the moon at night and address the moon as if it were a bad thing but they didn't see it that way. This is brilliant to me and I would love to see more oof this type of work. Keep up the creativity : )

Hey confetti!

This is a really nice piece. It's short and powerful, but I'm not entirely convinced that you've explored as far as you could with it.

There's only one line that stands out to me in a bad way: "You'd say that it reminded you of a horror movie." I feel that this is a bit too direct. You've already given the feeling that the moon's gaze is a bad thing (or can be perceived as such) with the line before, and it seems like this repetition doesn't strengthen that idea. Further, it seems in a different tone from the rest of the poem -- it's too blunt and direct compared to the poetic conversation on which it intrudes.

Also, if you remove that line, the two stanzas would be the same number of lines. That's something that would appeal to me, but perhaps not to you. Your call.

I think the main themes of this poem are death and light/darkness. I feel the first stanza is the voice of the poem as a child (or looking back on childhood) and the second is them now, as an adult. When they say "the moon's still watching me" I figure that's because the moon has always been watching everyone. Of course it has. But aren't children somehow exempt from that primal fear of death? Their innocence is usually the shield that protects them from looking into the darkness and imagining the end. So perhaps the second stanza would be more powerful if the voice realised that the moon had started to watch them too. Of course, as well-informed readers, we know that it's always been there, but it would be more like the voice realised that it was going to be their turn soon.

Maybe the reason you haven't done this is because of the last two lines -- the voice is much more accepting of their eventual and inevitable fate. If that's the case, then I think you could do more to show that.

I think I've rambled long enough -- let me know if there's anything you want clarifying / to debate with me. I hope I've helped even a little!