Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (Twitterized)

HARRY_P

Voldemort aint got nothing on me

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HARRY_P

Hello twitter, I'll be tweeting to you from a cupboard under the stairs. Not a whole lot happens here, but I'll keep you updated.

13 Jun

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HARRY_P

Some might call it just a cupboard under the stairs, but I call it #hell.

20 Jun

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HARRY_P

It’s my cousin Dudley’s birthday today. Happy Birthday, #dogbreath. Glad that I’m allowed to tag along to the zoo with them today.

23 Jun

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HARRY_P

Talked to a snake at the zoo… never done that before

23 Jun

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HARRY_P

The one day I actually get a letter and I’m not allowed to open it? I feel the love Uncle Vernon.

26 Jun

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HARRY_P

Damn. Someone must really want me to open these letters!

27 Jun

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HARRY_P

Going to be moving to an island for a while, so I'll talk to ya'll when I get back.

28 Jun

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HARRY_P

Holy shit. I’m a wizard.

1 Jul

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HARRY_P

Going to get my school supplies today! Does anyone know where I can find myself a wand in London?

3 Jul

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HARRY_P

@Hagrid_R Thank you for the early birthday present! I think I’ll name her Harry Potter Jr. Or Hedwig… that would be nice too.

5 Jul

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HARRY_P

First day at #Hogwarts tomorrow, bit nervous…

31 Jul

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HARRY_P

Where the devil is Platform 9 and ¾?

1 Sept

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HARRY_P

Met @RonWeasley on the train. He’s a ginger, but he seems like an all right guy.

1 Sept

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HARRY_P

GOT INTO GRYFFINDOR! How do them apples taste, Slytherin?

1 Sept

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HARRY_P

@MalfoyD you’re sort of an ass, in case you haven’t noticed.

11 Sept

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HARRY_P

Made the Quidditch team. Meet Gryffindor’s new seeker!

13 Sept

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HARRY_P

@MalfoyD Come at me, bro.

30 Sept

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HARRY_P

Saw a three headed dog last night… that’s normal here right?

5 Oct

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HARRY_P

Defeated a troll today with @RonWeasley and @HermioneG … no big deal or anything

31 Oct

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HARRY_P

First quidditch match today … I think I’m going to be sick

5 Nov

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HARRY_P

AWE YEAH, GRYFFINDOR’S FIRST WIN. Catching the snitch with my mouth wasn’t my best moment, but I’ll take it.

5 Nov

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HARRY_P

@HermioneG Could I borrow your potion notes?

12 Nov

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HARRY_P

Made a sick-ass talking snowman with @RonWeasley and @NevilleLB today

20 Dec

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HARRY_P

Does the wizarding world have a Santa?

24 Dec

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HARRY_P

Happy Christmas everyone! Can’t wait to use my new invisibility cloak

25 Dec

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HARRY_P

Does anyone know what the #Philosopher’sstone is all about?

11 Jan

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HARRY_P

@RonWeasley Holy dragonballs. Me and Hermione have something huge to tell you.

30 Jan

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HARRY_P

Agh… detention in the forbidden forest tomorrow. Great.

13 Feb

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HARRY_P

This Voldemort guy is a tad bit badass, I’ve never seen someone drink unicorn blood before. CHUG CHUG CHUG!

14 Feb

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HARRY_P

@HermioneG and @RonWeasley We need to get to the Philosopher’s stone before Voldemort does.

28 Feb

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HARRY_P

My scar's #tingling!

7 Mar

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HARRY_P

Tonight’s the night, guys!

18 Mar

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HARRY_P

Getting past the dog was easy enough, but getting past the friggin plant was down near impossible.

18 Mar

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HARRY_P

No way. Who knew that Professor Quirrell had Voldemort attached to the back of his head?

18 Mar

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HARRY_P

I guess I’m sort of a #bigdeal around here…

19 Mar

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Spoiler! :
I couldn't resist writing another.

Comments & reviews · 26
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User avatar
WrittenGirl46
Review

This was awesome, I couldn't stop laughing


I just got done reading the book then I see this I had to read it, it was sooo worth it, "HARRY_P" 's status is genius xD


And the status that said "Holy Shit I'm a wizard" I had to stop and catch my breath from laughing so hard.


But this. Was. AMAZING. No doubt about it. 10/10


The whole harry potter twitter concept was genius *slowly claps* this was good.. Maybe even too good.. Haha jk jk ~The Written Girl

User avatar
theRightShoe
Review

What can I say? You had me at:

"HARRY_P
Voldemort aint got nothing on me"

*speechless*
Just... Fan-freaking-tastic... And this is coming from a hard core Potterhead so Kudos man!

I totally loved the "Harry Potter on Twitter" concept.


"HARRY_P
The one day I actually get a letter and I’m not allowed to open it? I feel the love Uncle Vernon.

26 Jun"



That^^... Amazing!!

I don't think I can help you out by giving any suggestions. Everytime I reread it, I end up laughing rather than looking for errors/potential improvements. *still speechless*

User avatar
Phoenix23
Review

Awesome! Made me see Harry Potter in an entirely new way. Really hilarious. Harry Potter of the new technology era just could not get better. :) Loved it! Keep up the good work. I am looking forward for more HP !

User avatar
apple96
Comment

I loved the tweet about seeing a three headed dog and it being normal!

User avatar
FemmeFatale
Review

I seriously didnt think that this twitterized potter could get any better, but it just did! This made me laugh even harder than the first which I would have thought impossible because I almost died laughing reading philosophers stone. My fave entries were 23 Jun, 31 Oct, 1 Sept, 30 Sept and 1 Jul! I had to stop reading for a short period of time from lack of breath haha. Please do all the books! pleeaaaasssee! These are so good! Amazing job yet again!

User avatar
Flux
Review
Flux wrote a review · Tue Aug 02, 2011 2:37 pm

HARRY_P

Holy shit. I’m a wizard.

1 Jul



XD! Oh man ... I can't express in words ...

HARRY_P

Met @RonWeasley on the train. He’s a ginger, but he seems like an all right guy.

1 Sept



Yeah, I guess Ron's okay ...

Anyway. This. Was. GREAT.

I love the idea of putting it into Twitter. There's not much I can say to actually make this a real review ... Aside from the fact that you're awesome, and should Twitterize every novel in the series!

User avatar
inkwell
Comment

Reminds me of the fake tweets from the pope in a recent New Yorker. I could see this catching on.

I LOVED this, and obviously everyone else loved it just as much too because it is on the front page. Ergo, it's brilliant. You took a novel and easily shrunk it down into the tweets, which actually thoroughly explained the book.
Well done!
(Gonna go read the Chamber of Secrets post NOW!)
Keep writing,
-Jane

User avatar
Emmzziee
Comment

This is so awesome :D

User avatar
Alashay13 Comment

I laughed when I read this. It was funny and I really liked it. Harry's a bit occ, but I like it best when he is.

User avatar
mikepyro
Review

While I really enjoyed it I won't lie and tell you it was absolutly hysterical or totally awesome, it wasn't. It was good though. I felt you missed alot of great opportunities since you seemed to spend alot of time at the start than fly through to the end. Honestly the best parts are the side moments like the talking snowman and ones that tied indirectly into the film (potion notes), showed great humor and creativity. I know it's a twitter but some posts ignore punctuation completely and others are really strict, so that bugged me.

Also would love to see the twitters from accounts other than harry, would be a very nice touch if you mixed them all in. Something like voldemort texting after losing to harry would be pretty lolworthy.

Overall a solid piece with some great moments of humor and truly original. This is the first and only semi fanfic I've ever bothered to finish.

Wow this is awesome. You sure know how to make someone laugh.
There isn't really much else to say, except it was hilarious and not much else. And it was interesting. And made me want to keep reading.

People are saying there are more. I shall go read them.

User avatar
IcyFlame
Review

Hey there!
I thought this was great to read but I did have an issue with the dates. I mean, doesn't Harry find out he's a wizard on his birthday - which is not the 1st of July. And I think everything happens too soon: e.g. The Harry/Voldie/Quirrel situation happens in June ish.

Other than that it was great to read :D
Oh, and it is the Philosopher's Stone! J.K is english :)

User avatar
BerlynRae
Comment

I'm pretty sure its the "Sorcerers Stone"

User avatar
MiaParamore
Review

OMG! Usually, I review, but there wasn't much to nit- pick and whatever there was has been taken care of, already.

That is an original and amusing idea. I love the idea in itself even though I think there could have been more humour if that was what you were aiming for. I should not be saying this because such a genius idea didn't come from my head, but I couldn't resist saying it.

Keep Writing, and hats off to your originality. :wink:

User avatar
BigBadBear
Review

HARRY_P

Holy shit. I’m a wizard.

1 Jul

_____


That was the best tweet out of all of them. This is really funny, and incredibly pointless, but really funny, so don't stop. I don't care if twitter wasn't invented back then. If the HP series happened now, I could totally see this happening. This is funny stuff.

-Jared

User avatar
snickerdooly
Review

Amazing! Very entertaining, I loved how you cussed in it, it also helped people relate to Harry Potter more. Or at least it helped me relate to him more! Thanks so much for posting these I read your other one and it was also amazing! I think it would be really awesome if you did one for all seven of the books, also great job on the idea of twitterizing Harry Potter definetly not something you see often. :)
Thanks!
-Snickerdooly

User avatar
pyro
Comment

Wicked! Bloody 'ell, this was a fun read! Fantastic job!

User avatar
MiddleEarthGal
Comment

Wow...Just wow...

The only thing I personally didn't like was the language...The foul words weren't in the books, but that's just me.

But, it was very funny!!!

User avatar
michaeld
Comment

Hahaha once again this made me laugh! These are quite fun to read! Hope you keep them up! Also you should think about if you do the next ones, making them a bit longer by adding other characters tweets into it! Other than that, great job! BRAVO

User avatar
Master_Yoda
Comment

See, the real issue here is that Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone is set in the early 90s. Long before Twitter came into existence.

User avatar
ChalkyUknome
Comment

Wow! These are hilarious! Please do more! I don't have a twitter account but this makes me feel like I do have one! Continue! Please! ^_^

User avatar
mollycarraway
Comment

Ok, this was stinkin' FUNNY!!! Can I put in a request that you do this to the rest of the books?? Thanks for making my work day that much less boring :D

User avatar
Iggy
Review
Iggy wrote a review · Thu Jul 28, 2011 3:58 pm

Hello!

First off, you need to rate this 16+ because you cuss a lot in this. ;) Second, isn't it Sorcerer's Stone? o.e

I loved it! It was hilarious! Especialy:

"@MalfoyD Come at me, bro."

and:

"Met @RonWeasley on the train. He's a ginger, but he seems like an all right guy."

and:

"I guess I'm sort of a #bigdeal around here..."

XD so funny! Write more?

- Ariel.

User avatar
Demeter
Review
Demeter wrote a review · Thu Jul 28, 2011 8:05 am

Confetti!

Yessss there's another one. The final tweet made me laugh so much. xD

I'm not sure I prefer this to the Chamber of Secrets one, but that's probably just because now I knew what to expect. These are still so funny, and I want to see more!

I didn't like the first tweet that much, because it just seems very uncharacteristic for the Dursleys to "get Harry internet". Besides, if we want to be reeaaally humourless and nitpicky, technically they most likely wouldn't even have an internet access, because the first book takes place in 1991, and yeah... but we won't go there because that's dull and would defeat the whole point of this, which we don't want because these rock. To get around it, you can just not mention the word "internet" in these tweets. I also think that the first tweet should be something more... hooking anyway.

Favourites:

"@MalfoyD Come at me, bro."

"Met @RonWeasley on the train. He’s a ginger, but he seems like an all right guy."

"Made a sick-ass talking snowman with @RonWeasley and @NevilleLB today" - especially this, because you came up with an original happening (this wasn't told about in the book, right?)

and finally:

"I guess I’m sort of a #bigdeal around here…"

xD

@RonWeasley Holy dragonballs. Me and Hermoine have something huge to tell you.


Remember it's Hermione! ;)


More please!


Demeter
x



cron
In a world too often governed by corruption and arrogance, it can be difficult to stay true to one's literary and philosophical principles.
— Lemony Snicket