The Pianist

Hey cgirl!

Good job! I'm sure you already know you are a little off on the syllables, but that's okay. You're close enough, right? I wanted to learn how to play piano myself, but that's not going to happen anytime soon.

I did do a few lessons, though, and they were amazing. The fact that music is practically dancing off of your fingertips is simply wonderful. I felt you really captured that feeling well in this haiku. Which is kinda hard to do since haiku's are limited.

Nice haiku! Happy writing!
Sorry this review is a couple months late. I just really wanted to let you know that you did a good job!

Yours till the Chocolate Chips,
Snow

I always have such trouble with haiku *sigh*, however you did way better than me!

You did mess up with the syllables witch I always manage to do. You think that's hard? Try writing a sonnet!!!

Something you accomplished (yay you!) is saying something meaningful in 3 lines and it is very beautifully put! my boyfriend plays and I'm gonna show him this when he gets back from camp, I know he'll appreciate your appreciation of the art!

Over all I love it even if the form isn't perfect you got a well developed point across! Good luck in the future!

Hi, cgirl! This shall be my last review as your mentor. *wipes away single glistening tear*
*cough* Onward!

My fellow reviewers are referring to this as a haiku. I'm certainly no authority on haikus or any poetry for that matter, but from what I can tell, you have an 8 - 6 - 7 syllable pattern. I don't know of any standard formats that follow that particular pattern. I don't know if you were going for a free verse poem or not, but if you were going for a specific type of poem, just be careful of your syllable count. And cue the part where everyone tells me what an ignorant numbskull I am.

Now I'm rather unsure of how to approach this. For the sake of this review, I'm going to pretend that there are not syllabic constraints in play here. And yes. Pun intended.

I really like the idea of this being really short. I think the idea of it is rather brilliant, actually, and yet I was still wanting more at the end of the piece. I wonder if you might try different ways of saying the same thing while still keeping the simplicity. In other words, if there's any way for you to make it a little more formal or something without getting really convoluted. I really hope that makes sense. I really don't know how else to put it. The language is just a little....trite, I guess.

I think what I'm trying to say, is that I really like the idea of the piece, I was just a little less excited about your word choice. Meh. Sorry. I really wish I could help more.

Feel free to drop me a message demanding a further explanation. I'll do my best to get my thoughts into a coherent string of words. Good luck, and happy writing!
-Sea-

Hello cgirl1118. Jordin here with a review for you I hopes it helps you out a little bit. I hope it helps.

I think I like Haiku poetry dark wrote some good stuff.

Nice job!

Okay the first line sounded like the name of a super strange piano.

Well I think I know what you mean at the end but you need to put some punctuation into it.

Otherwise make this a little larger so that you can draw the person in and then have a really nice ending. Or a sad ending.

I am not sure that this is quite the right name. maybe The sound of music. XD

Keep writing and good luck.

~Jon~

Hi 'C-Girl!' Does that 'c' stand for 'cats' because that what's in your picture? Anyways I'm Alliyah here to review your haiku! I love haiku's, they're cute and take just a moment to read. So onto that review!

In a haiku the amount of words you get to use is so limited that you really have to be careful of your 'word economy' getting the most bang for your buck, or in this case for your words. I would try to add some extra words rather than using the words 'the' because in this case 'the' has zero purpose, and doesn't add a whole lot except take up a syllable. I know sometimes haiku's get stuck and you just want to add in a filler word, but taking some extra time to get rid of the double words, really will make the most of your poem.
I would also try to figure out how to take out the word 'It's' at the beggining of the 3rd line.

Something I do like that you do, is address different aspects of the piano playing: the movement, the player (fingers moving), the audience (amazing so real), and the music itself (beautiful).

Also in the future in your haiku writing, be very careful in your adjective use, because sometimes adjects like: "good, great,awesome,cool, crazy, amazing" have lost their meaning, and it's better to describe specifically what is good, or amazing. For example instead of saying "this was amazing" you can say "this was inspiring, or awe envoking, or impossible to replicate".

Overall, I enjoyed reading this especially since I am a pianist myself! I look forward to reading more of your work in the future, best wishes!

~alliyah~