Published November 25, 2007
tell me which you think is better, because I'm not absolutely sure... any feed back welcome
You can lean upon my shoulder.
It's seen as bad as this.
Let my skin soak up you salty tears
Let you face feel my soft lips.
The dull ache in my stomach
Knows there's something wrong.
I come up and spread my arms around you,
And hear your sorrowful song.
The blank face drawn upon you
Makes me ask myself inside
Whether you could ever love me,
And let me by your side
or
Rest you head on my shoulder,
Let the tears pour out your eyes.
Don't think about the future
Because I'll be by your side.
Despite the fact I don't know
Whats etched beneath you skin,
I read you face precisely
And wish you to let me in.
I'll wipe your face of sadness
Let light shine onto you.
Watch you 'till your happy
And I'm etched beneath you too.
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141,456 Literary Works • 674,473 Reviews
I personally like the second one better.
To me its more in depth and....understandable?
sorry a little brain dead here
but the second one really stood out to me.
Eep, you spellchecked, it looks like, but you chose the wrong words, I think! Like, "Let the rears pour out your eyes."
Read it a bit more carefully, edit your post, and then I'll decide which one I like better.