One of human tendencies that let them to development and destructions is curiosity. Mankind cannot dwell without getting answers for his questions and the quest for comfort. This curiosity has given mankind buildings, clothes, aero planes, rockets etc and on the other hand nuclear weapons, bombs and the power of destruction. This curiosity has led him to the Himalayas, Marina Trench, North Pole, South Pole and the moon. The desire for knowledge and superiority has taken man to high heights as well as given deaths.
“Curiosity killed the cat” means inquisitiveness leads to utter chaos especially when everyone knows it’s dangerous.
In my story Curiosity didn’t kill a cat but Curious cat killed a ……..
In a very pleasant afternoon a curious cat walked swiftly on the fence of a old abundant house. It looked, peeped and desired so badly to see who lives in there. Catherine running behind him and calling his name was totally ignored. The cat or Blaze watched for any movement inside so that he could know what was in there. Cathe was just about to reach him. As she flew her arm around him he graceful jumped into the backyard of the house. Cathe sighed and looked around to see if her parents were anywhere. She had to get Blaze back.
As if the owner or anyone knew 200 years ago they left the backdoor ajar just the distance needed for Blaze to move in. The place total dark got lit up by the small twinkle in Blaze’s eyes. Cathe followed through the open door and quietly she called for her little cat ‘Pussy! Pussy! Where are you?’. It was dark but surely she could identify Blaze. Both the human and the cat moved without the slightest noise. Every footstep was made with a lot of precaution but still a ear-breaking noise came as the window shattered. The girl jumped and moved back to the door as she kept her hand on the handle it slammed shut. That was enough to scare her. All the horror movies began to flip and flap in her mind from then on.
Cathe had no choice but to move on. Blaze fearlessly moved towards the smell that has been pulling him for a long time. It made his senses to tickle and today he was going to see what it was. Ever since he moved from his luxurious bungalow to this summer house surrounded by woods this smell lingered and it disturbed him a lot. Cathe got really scared out of her wits. She badly wanted to run off with Blaze. Cathe was imaging whether there was a ghost in the house who would eat her raw or pin her up with nails to the wall or a vampire who would drink her blood (as there was no sunlight in the room) or a beast that was hungry for more than 200 years is going to eat her or a plant that would gobble her whole and digest with burning acids. She never will be able to see her mummy or dad or her baby brother. She wouldn’t be able to become a doctor or play with her brother or go to the Disneyland her father promised or………….. She will only become a monster’s dinner!!!!!!!!!!!!
But still she called for Blaze and she heard a noise behind her and screamed on top of her lungs. The cupboard filled with dirty dress and clothes behind her top of her but it didn’t hurt Cathe because the wood was like dust and the clothes helped her. Then she felt something soft slither on her feet. She screamed but louder and struggled with the clothes to get up. Then everything about what could be the creature she imagined such a snake or a ghost or a witch’s cloak or the fur of a monster… then she saw it was Blaze and he had a mouse’s tail sticking out from his mouth.
Cathe slammed her hand on her head thinking that this entire struggle was for a mouse. From the time he was born he was always eating the Wellness Chicken, GoCat so today the curious cat killed a mouse to eat and fulfill his lifelong desire.
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
I know you are swaying between fact and fiction in this piece; but I'm not sure if it is needed for the reader to be honest, because at times... it doesn't all seem to fit. It make sense, but there are some unnecessary lines in the work:
eg. In my story Curiosity didn’t kill a cat but Curious cat killed a ……..
The introduction should be saved for the description. I like the idea that you are giving a bit of background on the origin of your story; but it slows the reading process down. Also... this piece has been listed as an Article/Essay.
Hmm... what may start as some sort of article quickly morphs into a story. I would perhaps rethink your classification of this work, because it is a bit misleading.
There's me picking technical and logistical holes.
Artistically, this work is interesting. The language use is very simple eg. 'Then she felt something soft slither on her feet.' It is also -unfortunately- a little bit cliché: ...'and screamed on top of her lungs.'
I see the idea behind this piece and like what you have tried to do with it, but I definitely think it is in need of a bit of editing.
~Bloodink
I really liked this piece because it is completely true. Man is always striving for knowledge, and it comes from curiosity. So many have died and so many have lived because of the curiosity of man. Now, moving on to the story. The story was well written, and well described. It was fantastic to read and over all, very enjoyable. I found it a bit comedic how the girl was so worried of what was in the house. Your grammar could be improved. You made a bunch of mistakes that could be easily fixed. Good work, and keep at it!
I really loved how much description was used in this story. The words chosen fit perfectly in the text. I especially loved this sentence.
"The place total dark got lit up by the small twinkle in Blaze’s eyes."
Apart from all the description I was slightly confused about the plot. Did a cat go missing and then it's owner, Cathe, decide to go in search of it into a dark house she'd seen the cat disappear into? Also, I felt there could have been much more to the story. Describe more about the house. It felt like the story was being rushed.
Besides that there were a few gramatical and punctual errors but those are easily fixable. Also in this sentance-
" In my story Curiosity didn’t kill a cat but Curious cat killed a …….."
Curiosity and Curious really don't need to be capitalized because they're not the title.
Overall I really enjoyed the description in this story which is something to be very proud of!