Dear Grandma,
A couple days ago you died.
It seemed it was just my uncle that got to say goodbye.
For a long time you were in the hospital withering away,
While your friends, family, neighbors sat at home and prayed.
And here I'm left to wonder why I didn't cry.
Wondering what it takes to bring the tears to my eyes.
My mother and brother cried, I think your sons and daughters too along with your many nieces and nephews.
Everyone at home shedding tears for you.
But please don't think I didn't tear because I didn't care
Because I can definitely assure you that all the feelings were there.
Of shock, longing, regret and annoyance too
Toward the nursing home that hadn't let my brother and I up to see you
So in recompense for the absence
of any tears I wrote this poem to thank you
for the many years
The reprimanding words, hugs and kisses all around.
I love you very much Grandma and hope that up in Heaven
you are happy, safe, and sound.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,227 Literary Works • 673,047 Reviews
This really hit home for me.. I'm currently crying while writing this... So far this year, I've lost 4 family members, one I just lost Monday morning... This year especially, I've always felt that I didn't get to say goodbye, even if I really did in some way. As much as I hate to cry, I'm sorry that you never cried over your grandma because I know exactly how that feels: you ask yourself why, how could you be so cold, do you even care about what's happening, what is she thinking of me as she looks down on me? Then, you start to feel the guilt... I've been there before, and it's hell, but it's not something you can help or control. Don't ever feel guilty or ashamed because you didn't cry for her, she knows you love her loads and she loves you in return. I bet she is sooo proud of you!!! (I'm still crying) AMAZING POEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am sorry for your loss...
Your poem is beautiful and full of emotion... I am sure your grandmother would be proud! I like the lack of rhyme cause to me it represents a loss of words. Maybe you should consider making some sentences a bit shorter. Also you could rearrenge the sentences in order to make bigger gaps to express long pauses. Overall its beautiful!
This is very sweet. I also didn't cry for my grandmother right away, so it hits a tender spot for me. If I can be so bold as to suggest changing the form a little bit, you could make the rhyme even more prominent by cutting off "So in recompense for the absence of any tears" at absence, then keep the meter by cutting off the next line at "thank you." But this is just the ramblings of a crack poet who can't write with rhyme to save her life. Overall, beautiful, poignant poem. I love it.
Hi there!
so, I want to say that your poem was very touching. My aunt who was close to me died only a few weeks ago of cancer that she had been battling for a little over a year. It hurt so much to see her go, but like you, somehow I didn't cry as much as I feel like I should have. Yet the feelings were there. Your hurt, your loss, your pain, comes out in your words.
Now, for the nitpicking of the poem's structure....
Your poem is rhyming, which makes it feel like it should have a specific meter, or beat, to it. But I find that some lines are a bit too long, and stand out as a little awkward. Like there are too many words or not the right words. Such as:
"My mother and brother cried, I think your sons and daughters too along with your many nieces and nephews."
This line is a little long, and it has too many words. And, in this sentence:
"Toward the nursing home that hadn't let my brother and I up to see you."
This also sounds a little awkward, and in this case, since "I" is the object, not the subject of the sentence, it should be "brother and me."
And, in the last line, you forgot the period. But I really liked this poem, overall. Keep writing!
-WritingforHim99
Thank you so much for your kind feedback it really means a lot and I'll keep your aunt in my prayers.
Wow this was very emotional. You are already one step ahead of others because if you can put your feelings into your writing it makes it just so much of a difference to the writer the emotions just feel more real. As i read it in some parts it rhymed and in other parts it didn't personally i would like it to be all rhyming or all not. this is just a personal thing that might not bother others. Over all really good and very touching.
Thank you. I tried to make it rhyme all the way, but in order to do that I had to cut out parts an dI didn't want that so I went with it. Thanks for such a kind review.