I feel like a snake sometimes.
Like my honeyed half-truths
Will slither out of my reach.
Like, when I coil up for winter,
My carefully worded castle-
Of lies-
Of deceptions-
Of good intentions
Will thaw and melt
And fall apart.
I'll be standing in the middle of it all
With sodden wool shrinking tight around me,
Like a snake
Before it sheds its skin.
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140,890 Literary Works • 673,704 Reviews
I am not going to be one of those people that may or may not be thinking why the heck did you use italics for only the word "of" in line 8" because I kind of strangely like that strange use of italics. It fits in a weird sort of way that I can't explain. Good vocabulary, by the way! Why do you feel like a snake though?
Short but simple is what I often hear about many things. This too is one of them. I also must say when I write my reviews, I like to explain myself, or how I perceived it. I this case, I felt like the narrator was ahead of the game or over thinking. They thought the flaws would fall out before they could help it, like a snake before it sheds it's skin. I think we all can relate to that one time or the other. I often feel like that myself. Your poem created a mood that made me uncomfortable yet understandable at the end. That's the good thing about poetry, you can compell your readers in different ways.
This was a very good poem, I enjoyed reading it. I give it a 10/10. Keep up your good work! Il bet your work can inspire others as it did me!
This is a really interesting poem to read. The honeyed half-truths was a great line. I enjoyed the imagery quite a bit and the sounds. When I think of snakes, I hear the hiss and the the "s" sounds. I think that could really take this poem to the next level. It's a short piece so there isn't much to critique. Perhaps the "good intentions" should also be in italics. it looks nice this way.
Like I said, not much to say because of its length but also because its a well written piece
Thank you for sharing!
*the grey reality
The vocabulary was great; not too hard and not to easy. A snake is a very good animal to pick to do a poem about because they can mean so many different things. I am having trouble deciding if this is poetry or poem-like story if you know what I mean. If it's a poem I would make the words rhyme just a little more so it can flow easier. Overall; It was very good.