Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
First Impression: Alright, well this was a lovely start here, I won't talk too much about this chapter as a whole until I run over to go read that second part two, but as far as a start goes, this one does very well.
Anyway let's get right to it,
“Michelle!” I heard someone shout from somewhere that sounded like the bathroom. “Where the hell is my new perfume?” I sighed. She could be such a pain. I wondered when she decided to move out. I wished it was that day every single day, but I was wrong. That day never seemed to come.
“I don’t know!” I shouted back. She always woke me up early in the morning. I hated her for doing that. Just because she needed an hour in the bathroom didn’t mean that she had to wake up everybody before she went in there. If she was going to take a shower she had to tell everybody, even though we were asleep and couldn’t do anything about it. Did she really think that we would come looking at her? How stupid could she possible be? That was a question that often popped up in my mind. Very stupid. That was the answer every single time.
Well, this is a lovely little introduction here to this story...we're getting a nice look at the atmosphere of this place that they're in and we can see the characters nicely getting introduced especially this shouty person. Aaaand, it makes for a fairly entertaining start here too...which is great to see.
“I know you have stolen it,” she claimed. Now she was standing in my doorway. “Just give it back and I won’t tell my dad.” I didn’t like being accused of something I hadn’t done. That was stupid of her.
“I told you; I don’t know where it is!” I put my pillow over my head and pressed it against my ears. Right now I would rather be deaf. She groaned loudly, and I could hear she tramped her way towards the bedroom where my mom and her dad were. She was so selfish. Couldn’t she at least wait to tell her dad until he was awake?
Yup...well that's not going to go great. It looks like shouty person is someone that isn't exactly very easy to live with judging by that particular attitude right there, although of course we don't know if this Michelle here is completely blameless either...for all we know it was actually stolen.
Just a few seconds later I heard footsteps outside my bedroom door. I couldn’t exactly hear whose it was. Two seconds later I came to that conclusion that it had to be my step sister. I wanted to yell at her, but I found out that that wouldn’t be very smart. Not with her dad in the house. I had to wait until school. That reminded me of something; it was Monday today.
I got out of the bed in a hurry; you know how it feels when someone puts a rocket on your back. Well, obviously not everyone got rockets on their back; my step sister hadn’t come longer than to the kitchen.
Uhhh...okay that transition right there is in a tiny bit of a mess there I have to say, that isn't moving as smoothly as one would like something like that to move, its a bit jarring switching from this whole early morning shampoo situation to something like that...I like the bit of backstory we get, but the rocket thing comes straight outta nowhere and breaks the flow here.
After getting dressed I rushed into the bathroom. When I found my hairbrush I began to brush my hair. Today it wasn’t as messy as it used to be, but it still took a while to comb out all the knots. When I looked at my reflection in the mirror a tired face looked back at me. How could I look so tired? I reminded myself of the party I had been to at Saturday.
I put some make up on and went down for breakfast. When I reached the ground floor the smell of toast hit my nose. I love toast; especially the ones my mom makes.
Okay...well at least this part is flowing better despite the break in flow earlier, it looks like we're just about having our typical start of day routine being played out here in this household while also hinting at something potentially special happening here on this day, and I think that's a great combination for the first part of a first chapter.
“Who’s making toast?” I asked while I walked through the doorway. Everybody sat around the kitchen table. My step dad looked at his daughter next to him and then at me. I took a seat next to my mom which was on the other side of the table.
“Robyn just told us that you have stolen her new perfume,” he said calmly. I could hear there was anger in his voice too, but since my mom sat around the same table he had to control himself. My mom gave him a look that he ignored.
Well...for one I have no idea how I mentally switched out shampoo for perfume...but whoops...and also well...we get a very clear picture of this step sister here...and also an interesting first impression of these parents right here.
“Well, as I just told her,” I began with my softest voice, looking at him first then Robyn. “I have no clue where her new perfume is.” I faked a smile. Robyn seemed to be even angrier at me now, but her dad seemed calmer. He smiled back at me and then facing Robyn.
“Maybe you have forgotten where you put it?” He suggested before he took the rest of his toast in his mouth. Robyn stared at him like she wanted nothing else than kill him there and then. “I know where I put my stuff,” she said through clenched teeth. I smiled for myself and took a bite of my own toast which had lain on my plate too long. It tasted delicious.
OKay...well, that was a very tense conversation, I get the feeling both parties in that conversation were quite mad at each other but preventing it for the sake of avoiding an unnecessary argument early in the morning there...at any rate, a very intriguing thing to run into here.
After eating two slices of toasts I went upstairs to find my schoolbag. It was gone. I knew it was supposed to lie under my desk, but now it wasn’t there anymore. I knew exactly who had taken it and she will regret, because now I’m going to be late for school too.
Ooooh...well things got a little bit more interesting right there...looks like this Robyn person stole the schoolbag for real as a retaliation for the perfume there.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall, this is looking like a pretty interesting set of characters in a premise that has the potential to be very interesting here judging by the sounds of things. Well, Imma run right over to the second part of this to go take a look at that.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
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