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140,583 Literary Works • 673,538 Reviews
I liked it it was very understandable and relatable. keep writing:)
Wow, a great message to bring across. You should definitely write poems more often! I think you had a very strong beginning and end and the message was strong and clear. You sort of had a rhyming scheme, I guess thats okay. Sometimes it seemed a little off. I only have one other correction:
I think you have a really great flow of the words here, and that little word 'so' at the end kind of interrupted it and made it a teeny bit too long. But apart from that the flow felt very smartly put together. I love the title as well!
Deanie x
Hello there!
First off, I genuinely like this poem; my favorite part is the overall feeling of it. It comes off feeling just a little bit raw, which I like; it's relevant with your topic. It is relatively simple but it conveys what you wanted to say very well. So, great work there.
This is probably my favorite stanza. It makes me think of falling asleep and knowing that you can't escape your problems but trying anyway.
This is the only part of this piece that I'm not in love with. It seems a little disconnected. While I read your poem, it made me stop for a moment and try to figure out what you were trying to say, but not in a good way. Still, with a little bit of polishing up, it could be as amazing as the rest of the poem.
Great work! Keep writing!
I think on the last line you mean to "expect" the very worst. Other than that let me say that I know how you feel. I've been having similar thoughts myself lately and you have put them into words more eloquently than I could have.