I look to the foot of my bed,
legs tangled and twined together.
Your arms wrapped
around my bare-skinned waist.
My smirk - dangerous,
thoughts running back to last night.
It was just as expected I guess.
You were good.
I was better.
Sounds coming from the depths of
our throats.
Secret smiles and seductive attention,
with gutteral moans, hips stuck together.
Collapse as you move,
scratch down you're back,
holding onto the edge, I can't go over yet.
Counter your angles.
Double your kiss.
I shut my eyes tight and scream out
your name.
Hear you shatter and follow me over,
falling into complete bliss.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Boston,
Not bad... I always like reading poetry that is open and conceptual and something that is usually never talked about or expressed.
My favorite line is "Secret smiles and seductive attention"
Also, it's "guttural" by the way, NOT gutteral..
Keep writing, I see a lot of potential in your writing.
I see potential in those who use simple words to make unique, short phases stand out. It's best to enlighten not just the reader but yourself. I love going back to some of my poetry and reading it; I am inspired all over again and discover new meanings. When you are 70 years old and your partner can no longer, you know... do "it" you are going to get a kick out of this poem! Your dreams will be sweet that night, great for the reminiscent mind if you get my drift. Haha
And before you post another piece of your work you should do at least one or two reviews. It is only fair and helps make this site much more appreciable.
Hey there, Boston!
scratch down you're back <-- It should be "your."
So! A very sexy poem! Awesome. But the beginning is a bit slow. Don't worry about setting up the setting unless the setting is really interesting. Your particular beginning is really slow and lazy, which I guess capture the moment, but it isn't poetically interesting. I think you would be better off starting in the middle somewhere.. that way, you can hook us better. And trust me, we'll understand that there is some sort of sex going on.