This story has been set
Many, many years ago,
Where false gods and wars we cease to forget
Exist in such a way we all know
There comes this kingdom reigned by a queen
She was kind, unselfish, courageous and rational
But beneath these traits she has a secret within
Still she continues to help her followers when they call
Then they’re rival country attacked without notice
And everything she worked hard for has turned into dust
She was dethroned while being despised and teased
None from her projects for her people had last
When her highness arrived in town
She saw it deserted and filled with blood
Most of her people were all weak and down
And many has called out the help of their god
This certain god’s name was hope
The people believed ad prayed with all their might
She decided to help them elope
However, due to her looks she was pushed away every night
Even though she was rejected by her people
The queen remained strong and kind
Living in the streets alone with her fading cloak that’s purple
She continue to pray that hope may be find
One day, a local priest says
That a sacrifice must be made
So that their god hope will aid them to slay
Their conquerors that destroyed the land they’ve paid
With a single look, the queen was taken to the temple
And was sacrificed before the eyes of her people
That’s the time when a servant shouted and call
“She is our queen, the one who made this country nice to all!”
But it’s too late for their queen had died
They cried and regretted what they have done
Amidst the chaos, they’ve realized
Hope is not a god but a virtue to be found.
Salutations, I am honored to be the second person to review the first historical fiction poem ever published in YWS. I hope I don't offend anyone with my reviews,my only intent is to edify and encourage other writers through constructive criticism.
I really like your poem and how you the people think hope is a god, but then after they kill their queen so that the will find hope, they realize hope is a virtue and will not come if you sacrifice people.I like this poem and will read your newer works.
~@Lives4Christ24
i love it. i think its got good structure. it starts off intresting and ends perfectly. i could feel the emotion through the whole thing. nice job.