football

look at them
dancing, prancing,
it's all for show
ritual mating dance
round they go
butting heads
muscles flexed
sweat drips
as they run up and down
chanting
tribal grudges rule
trying to catch female attention
while keeping up with the competition
screaming other males away
from the magic symbols
painted on the turf
pagan war games
full of strikers and defenders
prayers offered up
when their goal is achieved
the religious experience
they call football

bluecows :wink:

Comments & reviews · 11
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User avatar
Shine
Comment

Honestly its not that good,I am not telling its totally very stupid but its like not up to the mark.Umm..lines of that football spirit should be there to make it sound nice.anyway u can improve :)

User avatar
Shine
Review
Shine wrote a review · Thu Feb 02, 2006 3:21 pm

Honestly its not that good,I am not telling its totally very stupid but its like not up to the mark.Umm..linesof that football spirit should be there to make it sound nice.anyway u can improve :)

User avatar
Jojo
Review
Jojo wrote a review · Thu Feb 02, 2006 9:57 am

It was painful to have my favourite sport described thus. :shock: I know the next time I'll watch a football match I'll be thinking about your poem at the same time trying not to think about it. :x

User avatar
Snoink
Comment

Nope... the title is always the first thing you see of a poem.

User avatar
bluecows
Comment

i thought i had??

Random avatar
timjim77
Comment

The analogy would work better if you kept the actual subject, football, hidden until the end.

User avatar
xanthan gum
Review

well, rewrite the words "it's" "other" "keeping up" and "competition" and you'll be fine. typos, i'm sure.
i really liked this. it was actually sort of funny. and very true - i suppose i've just never looked at it this way, but it's exactly correct in everyway.

(it's certainly something i'd love to show to the room of unruly, perverted 40 year old men that will inhabit my house this sunday...and as I serve them food. :roll: )



I have lived through much, and now I think I have found what is needed for happiness. A quiet secluded life in the country, with the possibility of being useful to people to whom it is easy to do good... then rest, nature, books, music, love for one's neighbor - such is my idea of happiness.
— Leo Tolstoy