My love will last forever,
our laugh will never fade,
our hearts will stay together,
until the end of days.
Your kiss will ever linger,
the words you used to say,
I’ll see your smile forever,
until the end of days.
Your heart will beat as mine beats,
pulse racing as we play,
our hearts will beat together,
until the end of days.
My love will last forever,
our memories never fade,
we’ll stay in love together,
until the end of days.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Hehe, this review was written by me a while ago when I barely knew anything about critiquing poetry. Well, you actually can choose, but it's better to know as much as you can and really master the craft before you decide to break the rules. Also, you should have a really good reason for breaking the rules (for instance, maybe it adds a more three dimensional quality to your poem) but don't ever just don't include punctuation for the purpose of not including it, if you know what I mean. I'd stick with punctuation right now, and once you get a bit better and poetry, you can try without. ^^
Thank you :] I was unaware that you HAD to use punctuation in poetry, I always thought it was a matter of choice (my bad).
I'll correct that now!
Hi bluecows!
This poem is nice. I liked the feel of it, and that you've taken a commonly used idea for poetry, and made it your own. It had a catchy rhythm to it, and I could tell that you knew you what you were doing.
One thing I don't like is the fact that this doesn't have any punctuation. Don't worry; you're definitely not the only one to make this mistake, but you should know that you should punctuate poetry just like you would punctuate a story. Although the rules are a bit looser in poetry, there still are rules.
PM me if you have questions.
-Elinor