Prologue: There is a city, one city that holds the remaining population of the earth. 500 years ago in 2012 a nuclear bomb was set off on the earth. Only 564 people survived the radiation and bomb. Many had warned us but we did not listen. The SSF (special security forces)gathered the survivors and set them up in a camp in the Rocky Mountains. Few people survived in the camp because of the food shortages and the disease. The disease mutated people into killing machines. The disease was caused from the radiation. The diseased had 3 rows of razor sharp teeth, extreme speed, thirst for blood, when they were injured they would turn into wolves, and they were only kill able in wolf form. The disease would spread like wildfire in the air we breath, one breath of the air and it was over, forever. The SSF decided to protect the uninfected they put every sick or diseased person outside the camp and built 70 foot high electric fences around the village. Everyone on the wrong side of the fence were left to fend for themselves. At night if you looked out beyond the city limits you could see the diseased hundreds of them standing there, licking there lips and waiting. The population of the camp steadily rose meanwhile the camp becoming fuller and fuller the dormitories getting more and more crowded. 25 years ago the SSF decided that every year there would be a Game... or you could say, a hunt would be held. 29 contestants were chosen any age, any size. Tracking devices put into there arms. video cameras in their eyes, then they were released out of the camp, the last person standing wins. the contestants were nicknamed Flesh Hunters, the beasts they fought were nicknamed Flesh Seekers.
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Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Hmm...well this seems your standard run of the mill apocalypse scenario right here. We've got a proper end of the world scenario going down as usual with a nice side of a lot of humans being killed and then the formation of some sort of deadly species that hunts and kills said humans so they protect themselves. It's a reliable template, and I think you've added some nice touches of uniqueness here by making the humans themselves be the killing machines. I think you've created a fairly interesting situation here. There's definitely more than enough going on in this world to be rather interesting and this little game of sorts you've introduced wile once again no the most unique of directions to go in, does seem like it'd make for a pretty interesting story here.
Overall, I think it does come together to form a fairly solid prologue here. The one issue I could perhaps see here is the fact that maybe you'd need to break this up into a couple of paragraphs to help with the overall flow and this does read a teeny bit like a premise more than a prologue, but otherwise, its a solid idea here that's conveyed quite nicely.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
I think this story could turn out really well. It seems a little strange to me that the ‘game’ is played with people of ANY age, I mean children would be sent on a suicide mission. It seems a little barbaric. And the nuclear bomb was a little odd, also. Maybe you could give us a little more explanation on that? Besides that, good job.
Hi bhoutris
I like this prologue and I can't see anything wrong with it, but I would advise re-reading as it can mean that you improve the post yourself and find any mistakes, plus it is a good habit to get into.
Can you pm me when you post more?
midnightread
sounds just a tad cliche, but quite a good start, i dont understand why the people are called flesh 'hunters' and the things that are trying to kill them are flesh 'seekers' it kinda sounds a bit the same to me.But i think you could do alot with your ideas good work!
Hey bhoutris!
This sounds very much like the beginning of a scary video game with lots of zombie werewolves and such! I probably wouldn't play it, but I'm not much into video games anyway, so don't listen to me about that sort of stuff.
Now, I just wanted to point out a couple of things! First, nuclear explosions have happened before on Earth and they haven't done anything like what you described... not even close! Nuclear explosions are generally centralized, so it would take a lot more than just one bomb to do what you described. Plus, the mutations... radiation sickness sucks, but it doesn't turn you into a werewolf of sorts!
My idea then is to make it be some sort of human virus that has somehow mutated into something that could do this sort of thing. Is this plausible? Maybe not! But it explains the widespread nature of this transfiguration, plus the deadliness.
Good luck with writing this!