Dear Mr.Andersen

Hello! DragonNoir here for a review!

I must say, you picked a very deep and touching subject for this poem. You've also written it very effectively. However, this does not mean there isn't anything you can do to improve. For example, you kept on making new lines in the middle of sentences. You either keep the same sentence on the same line or you do it so that it has an effect. In your case, only once or twice did it have an effect. As well as this, the poem has a constant use of enjambment (no use of puncuation in the lines of the poem), which made the poem go on as if forever. There are so many places where punctuation should have been used, but has not been used. For instance:
"I did find out one of their dislikes
Me"
You need to add either a colon, semi-colon or a comma after 'dislikes' because you are introducing something. You could have used a full stop after 'me' for a very good effect.
As well as this, you used punctuation in the wrong place. You would end one line with a question mark, but go on to continue that same sentence on a new line, which really messed up the flow. An instance where this happens is:
"Could you tell those words hurt?
So much" Usually, you'd put those two lines into one and you'd put the question mark after 'much', because otherwise this does not make sense at all.
Other errors include missing punctuation and capital letters, but I'll leave it to you to be able to find them.

On a more positive note, I really like the imagery you used and how you adapted it to your theme. The poem is long, but effective, luckily only that last one counts.

Overall, I think it's a great piece of poetry, but you have to work on structuring your lines and punctuation.
I hope my review helped!

Hello, Crazy Cattle21 here to try to review your poem. The title of your poem did a very good job of pulling me in but the poem overall was only ok at its best. Some of these are a bit nitpicky I confess but here are two things I think would make your poem better. Being the picky jerk I am, I don't personally take to long poems. A few of your verses could either be longer or put together for example;

My shield

The real me started to die,

Having to hide so as to not to get hurt.

Did you not see the abrupt change in my personality?

Well, they did.

Like vultures, they wait for the chance

To strike their weaken prey,

pecking and tearing at my flesh

They tore out my heart

and played with it as if it were a toy

They played with my feelings for a laugh!

They took my life away from me

Never again can I be carefree.

That was not the best edit ever, but I think you get the idea. I would also advise using a few more commas. When a body is busy writing, things like spelling and punctuation seem like a small and meaningless thing. That is fine, so long as you remember to correct what you missed in a final draft. A few commas would help with the flow of your poem a great deal. One other I didn't notice it at first, but you do have one misspelled word. Moran is spelled, Moron. I think you are off to a good start! By all means, keep writing! Hope to see more of your work soon!

beprepared;
Hello I am Ishan212 and I'm here to review your poem called the 'Dear Ms. Anderson'.

The poem was about a boy, I presume, who is unhappy, rather angry at his teacher for not doing justice to him as any good teacher would do to all her students. I've no idea about the situation or the background in which you wrote the poem.

Your poem was neither too great that I'll lengths and lengths of paragraphs praising it, nor it was that bad that I would ink four hundred words criticizing it.

According to me it was just another poem, like everyone else's.
I'm presenting my views, in a rather awkward manner, because either I was unable to relate to your poem or your poem did not have the capability or the grip to make the readers feel it.

The poem's protagonist blames the teacher in the first paragraph. I'll give you a proof.

"Here I sit alone

Next to a teacher's desk

Like yours once again,

Thinking back about you Mr. Andersen.

Why you might ask?

For one simple reason

Can you guess?

That’s right you can’t

Or can you?

It doesn't matter now

No it does

Did you care about me?

I thought you did

I trusted you

Now I’m not so sure

You lied to my mom

Did you really think I was getting along with my classmates

Do you know what they did to me?"

Here you write about how the student lost faith and trust in his teacher because the teacher lied to his mother and other incidents.

Now by the end of the paragraph, the boy starts blaming the teacher and rather alleging that she was a mute spectator to all the cruelty and bullying, the boy faced throughout his school life.


And if we further read the poem we understand that the boy was hungry for teacher's praise. He wanted the teacher to praise him and keep on praising him. Have a look at what you wrote.

" did, I drew or wrote instead

You told me to play again

You praised me when I did good

Your praise was addicting

I wanted more

So I kept playing

But one day

You praised my sketches

Of the playground

You praised me

in something other than soccer

Did you not want me to play?

Or was that praise fake

Like my smiles or laugh?

But that day

that smile was real."

First blame the teacher then ask her for praise. It is beyoind my limited understanding, my co authour.

In the last paragraph, you write:
"You never saw or heard?

The words they used to kill

The old innocent me

Or did you not care?"

The boy again alleges that the teacher was ignorant towards him.
But to the contrary, in the first lines the boys says the he thinks that the teacher cared about him.



This poem was confusion for me.


It might me a fantastic poem for someone other but I could not help criticising it.
Keep Writing!!!!!
Thanks
Ishan212