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Those Days

by avery014

Those were the days,

When we would laugh,

At all the silly things we would say,

Enjoy life at its finest,

Study and at the same time play.

Those were the days,

You would make me smile,

Light up my face,

And just for a while,

You would make me forget about the race.

Those were the days,

You would lead me to dance,

Remember even the smallest words of mine,

You didn't let go of a single chance,

Throughout the times, throughout the expanse.

Those were the days,

You stayed up late to help me,

Even though you didn't know much,

Your little note filled me with glee

I've never had a friend as such.

Those were the days,

You would tease me and play around,

Chase me and make me chase you,

You made me feel like I owned a crown,

Made me feel that it was forever, but it all went down.

Those were the days,

The race got closer,

You seemed farther,

Lost in the maze and trials,

Grew between us the miles.

Those were the days,

When we worked hard,

Soon the race came,

And broke us up into little shards,

Stopped us from talking, dragged us apart.

Those were the days,

When all of it was over,

Trapped inside our homes,

Just like any other,

We became just friends,

And gave ourselves a proper closure.

Those were the days,

Even though we don't talk anymore,

And we're on our own way,

Those memories still stay,

Sometimes making me smile, just like before.

Is this a review?



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1232 Reviews

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Reviews: 1232

Sun Apr 04, 2021 10:01 am
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MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...

Hi avery014,

Mailice here with a short review! :D

This is a very beautiful poem. I especially like how you try to include rhyming. You try to render a great story that can be divided into different emotions. So I think just the beginning is a very good start but already connected with a melancholy that something is wrong, until it changes in the "middle" more to a sunny, beautiful tone, until the end then the sadness comes back and you notice that the narrator is losing a tear.

You have already awakened some feelings in me with this romance. The simple way you render the memories are, on the one hand, like a real memory that slowly fades the longer you think about it and that's why I think some passages feel very real.

Those were the days,
You would tease me and play around,
Chase me and make me chase you,
You made me feel like I owned a crown,
Made me feel that it was forever, but it all went down.

I find this passage particularly beautiful and yet it has a sad undertone. I think I could also call this the beginning of your ending, where melancholy slowly takes over.
The repetition of "Those were the days" also seem to get more intense the closer you get to the end.

I like how at some points you have to interpret a little yourself what you're trying to say with certain verses, but never so much that you have to pause.
The last five lines in particular feel to me as if the narrator is just waking up from a beautiful dream and longing for that earlier time.


avery014 says...

Thank you so much for the review!

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701 Reviews

Points: 49988
Reviews: 701

Sat Mar 27, 2021 9:58 am
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ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...

Hello. Here for a review.

Hope you are okay now, i.e. after writing the poem.

It was heart-breaking! I liked how you put up your memories in each and every line of the poem. This poem was so realistic. Race— in today's world, it might appear that it's totally gone. But... It still stays in people's heart. I have heard many talking about race. Why? Why should this continue. I wish if there were a world without race. We are human after all.

Overall, a very good work. Keep writing.

avery014 says...

Thanks for the review!

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70 Reviews

Points: 415
Reviews: 70

Thu Mar 25, 2021 2:12 pm
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BEASTtheHUN says...

I like this lyrical poem I guess you could call it. It's really engaging. I like how straightforward it is, and how it doesn't beat around the bush. The flow is very nice, I could sing this without a hitch, that's a good sign. I enjoy the idea of it. Keep up the good work. Peace out!

avery014 says...


To answer before listening—that is folly and shame.
— Proverbs 18:13