Hi avery014,
Mailice here with a short review!
This is a very beautiful poem. I especially like how you try to include rhyming. You try to render a great story that can be divided into different emotions. So I think just the beginning is a very good start but already connected with a melancholy that something is wrong, until it changes in the "middle" more to a sunny, beautiful tone, until the end then the sadness comes back and you notice that the narrator is losing a tear.
You have already awakened some feelings in me with this romance. The simple way you render the memories are, on the one hand, like a real memory that slowly fades the longer you think about it and that's why I think some passages feel very real.
Those were the days,
You would tease me and play around,
Chase me and make me chase you,
You made me feel like I owned a crown,
Made me feel that it was forever, but it all went down.
I find this passage particularly beautiful and yet it has a sad undertone. I think I could also call this the beginning of your ending, where melancholy slowly takes over.
The repetition of "Those were the days" also seem to get more intense the closer you get to the end.
I like how at some points you have to interpret a little yourself what you're trying to say with certain verses, but never so much that you have to pause.
The last five lines in particular feel to me as if the narrator is just waking up from a beautiful dream and longing for that earlier time.
Mailice.
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