Coming in from the clouds with a beard looking like a cloud, vibrant thick close to travel across the whole chilling Globus with sweet melody hustling through those bells on Reindeers. His willingness to remain unnoticed is baffling. The signature of his presence is the laugh of his, that unearthly laugh the whole cosmos is deprived of. This laugh on a Christmas eve awakes a Son of street from the winter dreams of his only to find a box of candies and a furry warm coat near his torn out warm blanket for which the word warm seems ironical with no one to be seen around but streets. Being aware of the generosity around him he is perplexed, sparing a thought for that laugh which he never heard in all seasons.The cold of night is piling up on the streets and the impressions of its history on our protagonist's conscious.
He has heard those grins and those giggles numerous of times looking through the window, a cup of coffee and a bright eyed couple far away from his misery feeling beautiful for themselves.Have seen a laughing session between a bunch of boys going haywire out of nowhere because of the mean streak behind it. Seen people coughing and laughing at the same time with an element of sympathy for there burn out throats but nothing for there heart. .
At worst of times had confrontations with bullies laughing at his street life calming there anxious ego which is a tamed creature in the world they come from. Those cold blooded maniacs discovering their Clown in the bloodshed, smoke and screaming bullets. The venom takes shelter in its(laugh) shadow but the acts of people ruins the comfort(of venom).The dark stories of the streets have galloped those famous fables.
The urge for the quest of that beautiful and unadulterated laugh of that mysterious divine figure on the Christmas eve is doing merry go round inside him.I am not sure of his spiritual enlightenment.No churches, no temples, no mosques.I am a bit worried for this fella because he is seeking for a benevolent laugh among the shrinks.Santa comes once in a year and those candies won't last long and it can be said for the coat too.To find someone who will laugh for you and take nothing away need some voyage around the Globe.
I have given a thought to the fact that why Santa show up once in a year.Its almost like he wants to tell the human race that people like him are rare and one won't find them waiting around a corner. I think that person if found will be like Santa.He will be in a hurry most of the time because of his generosity for everyone. His presence will be short lived but will leave the sight with a bag full of happiness.He will soak the cold vibes and the slippery tears in the furry coat of his.Not to forget, his laugh will certainly bring an end to the quest of that Son of Street.
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125,027 Literary Works • 672,773 Reviews
Hi ashecjss,
Mailice here with a short review!
What we have here is a well-written short story with some poetic touches, where towards the end I wasn't sure exactly where we were.
Let's start by saying that I really like the aesthetics and the structure of the story. It's like little highlights that you present here like this, where it gives the story an interesting shape.
I like the tone with which you present the story here and how it creates a certain "melody". I noticed that you use some very well-chosen words, making the text a little harder to read. (I had to read some parts a second time to see a bit of what was happening). I wouldn't see this as something positive or negative, but more as something neutral. I found it rather neutral for the meaning of the text that I interpreted out.
Another thing that struck me was how the structure you put in here left me a bit with questions. Are we in a short story, or is it just a narrative story that you're using to describe something here. If so, it's really good.
One thing I noticed while reading:
A space is missing here. I would also like to take the opportunity here that the absence of spaces or one too many full stops or similar occur more often in the story.
In summary, an interesting story where I don't yet know directly where to place it.
Have fun writing!
Mailice