The little boy decides to quit the game before
It's even started, causing
Massive headaches in Administration.
He is eventually deleted from computer files because
Life would be so much easier if he had never existed.
He follows the red rubber ball into the street,
Narrowly escaping being crushed by giant wheels.
(Truckers rarely get a chance to play the hero.)
Upon reaching the other side he realizes he has lost his pocketwatch,
But it doesn't matter because he couldn't read it anyway.
He builds a spaceship out of butterflies and zooms away
Before his loving mother has a chance to call him in for lunch.
The six-o-clock soaps will dull her pain,
And he won't even miss her for he revels in the company of
Stars.
Bye-bye, Birdy.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Snoink: Aunque creo que te guste mucho, no me parace que esa frase fue escrito bien. Lol, just a joke... I never thought that phrase was proper grammer... Anyhoo...
I loved it, so imaginative, like a little boy would be. Beautiful.
I like the title. And the poem. It reminds me of some Beatles music... "A Day in the Life"...
*salivates*
Translation: Me gusta mucho.
Awesome. I have only one nitpick, and that is that it seems to me there should be a "the" before "Stars". But maybe I'm being slightly obsessive. Hehe. Anyways, other than that, I really love this poem. Lots of magic images and secret things. And so much randomness! My favourite. I love your poems
Wow, thanks everybody!
Chevy : "the six-o-clock soaps will dull her pain" was supposed to be about the mom being sad because her little kid ran away.
Once again, thank you! everyone is so nice.
great work. your narrating ability is fantastic.this poem was short and sweet. the poem comes as pictures to me.
Very beautiful. You have great storytelling ability. I also loved the last line. Great work!
Helena, each time you write somthing, it gets better than ever! This is so incredebly cool! There are a lot of hidden mesenges, (I think, perhaps I'm overanalizing) and I love it's randomness. Especially in the last line. Bye Bye Birdy. You're brilliant!
It had a very fictional sense to it and I loved it. It would make an awesome picture book.
Narrowly escaping being crushed by giant wheels.
(Truckers rarely get a chance to play the hero.)
Was the best part.
The only thing I didn't get was:
The six-o-clock soaps will dull her pain,
Who is "her?"
There was a hidden message in this poem, as well. I'm not sure if you intended to do that or not but I think that's why I loved this poem so much. Great work!