hey andrew!
this sounded really deep. the emtion were raw and untamed and i like that.
keep up the good work.
oh and chapter five is out.
When you're ready to grow up, call me. When you're done fishing for compliments, thats when you can start looking for advice in me. If you're over all your crushes on all the guys that will break your heart and make you cry, then I'll let you get this close.
When you look in the mirror, and you're fine with what you see, and when you walk down the street without counting the guys that look at you, maybe then we'll work out.
Maybe there will be an us...but I'm not going to wait for it.
With me, what you see is what you get. I threw away my facade.
Now I'm just waiting for you to do the same.
hey andrew!
this sounded really deep. the emtion were raw and untamed and i like that.
keep up the good work.
oh and chapter five is out.
I'm fed up of complimenting your work young man but I feel it is too good to simply overlook it! You have such a way of portraying such emotion it's hard to envisage anything else. I get lost in your writing and I don't think I have found anyone on this site who has inspired me as much as you have.
Hey there,
This was very short, yet quite neat. You managed to criticise a lot of the foolish things teenage girls tend to do and sounded very real. Down to the point.
A couple things:
I smell Contradiction
...but I'm not going to wait for it.
Now I'm just waiting for you to do the same.
When you're ready to grow up, call me.
This is really...deep? If that's the right word to use. I see that you have basically pointed out all of the common flaws in girls these days. What with self image and all. I can see the point, it's very clear. Good job. The only thing I can point out is you said 'thats' instead of 'that's' and....that's saying something.
I like this. It sounds true and easily relate-able.
Wow. That sounded really true and real, which is quite refreshing. You mannaged to point out the things that girls do a lot of because of self-image, or insecruity, and managed to say "stop doing this", but in a way that means you care, not that you hate her.
I don't really have any corrections, it's hard to fix what comes from the heart, that's why some writing is so good 
Keep up the good work!
-JC
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