Young Writers Society

Hi there, friend! Ellie here to leave a quick review for these lyrics of yours. I hope you are having a great day! Let's jump right in to the review!

From cradle`s coo to youth`s bold bloom, I have grown into a fruitless counsel. I am no a decrepit hound, yet I proffer pearls of counsel to the headless rogue, but I yearn to do more still.....

I noticed that all of your words like 'cradles' and 'youths' are written like youth`s instead. Was there a meaning behind this? Either way, I really like the aesthetic of this poem, also with the image at the end and everything. I find it engaging and nice to look at.

the misogynist sun and moon gaze down, their drunken eyes abusing clean hands below.

I really liked this line ^^ you do a wonderful job with so many describing words, as well as interesting details. I find some parts a bit hared to understand, because this piece feels highly symbolic to me, but that almost just adds to the beauty behind the words.

Knowledge, judgment, and taste, almost universal, embraced oft without reflection and contention. but as i see it, i vow to proffer them a veritable slant. This mortal coil, you are but a hapless soul. and yet the fleeting "Why" hunts my mind.

I found it interesting that you did not capitalize these i's but you did in the previous lines. A lot of the words you use feel unfamiliar to me and older. This feels like something written in the past, speaking in a more fancier sounding type of language. But still, I really liked the words and aesthetic

Great work and keep on writing!

your friend,
Ellie

Hey there, anasahmad! Rebel here for a short review!

Well, this is an interesting short poem. The lines and appended image together oozes eerie pictures of mysticism. Let's look at each line at a time:

anasahmad4565 wrote:From cradle`s coo to youth`s bold bloom, I have grown into a fruitless counsel. I am no a decrepit hound, yet I proffer pearls of counsel to the headless rogue, but I yearn to do more still.....

An interesting first stanza. I think the first couple of lines denote how a person, or in this case, the narrator, grows up from their childhood to youth. And the next couple of lines perhaps deal with a youth's innate desire to leave a mark in the world yet still failing at it. Also, "proffer pearls" and "bold bloom" are nice alliterations. Also, I think it should be "not" instead of "no" in "I am no a decrepit hound" or you could just get rid of the "a" in that clause, that'd be cool too.

anasahmad4565 wrote:God vouchsafe a word of honour to me, and I saw the harvest moon in the east. In but a breath`s span, the misogynist sun and moon gaze down, their drunken eyes abusing clean hands below.

I feel like the meaning of this stanza is much more abstract and vague compared to the one before. Perhaps this stanza is an euphemism about how the moon reflects the sun's light to shine in glory but by bathing is someone else's glaze. Or perchance, it's a satirical expression on the pervertness of humankind? Or I guess it can be both, depends on your perspective.

anasahmad4565 wrote:That striplings whom I knew, or knew not. In cultures far and near, they falter not by choices but by nature`s design; prejudice ingrained, yet morality courses through ancestral veins.

This stanza made me think more than the last stanza (the last stanza did more to confuse me than to elicit fascination). Perhaps, this stanza is the narrator's realization about the unbridled nature of youth and how we are fashioned to the natures of our heritage, as traditioned by thousands of years of evolutionary traits.

anasahmad4565 wrote:Knowledge, judgment, and taste, almost universal, embraced oft without reflection and contention. but as i see it, i vow to proffer them a veritable slant. This mortal coil, you are but a hapless soul. and yet the fleeting "Why" hunts my mind.

I feel like, in the final stanza, the narrator embraces it all - everything that has happened to them and humanity as a whole, but vows to change it for the common good (veritable slant) of mankind, something that would affect generations to come and reach beyond the "mortal coil" - and yet, in the end, the narrator questions why they are doing it all in the first place? Why do any of that?

Well, perhaps, the answer to that is - just because we can and/or we want. There doesn't need to be a greater reason than that.

Anyway, it was an interesting read. Keep writing! :p

P.S.: This review was brought to you by Team Tortoise.