• Home

Young Writers Society

18+ Mature Content

Lost the sight of her eyes

by anasahmad4565

Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for mature content.

In shadows, I lost the sight of her eyes,

Like stars that vanish in the darkened skies.

Yet in my heart, her gaze forever lies,

A memory of love that never dies. 

Through time and distance, her eyes still gleam,

In dreams and memories, a cherished, timeless theme.

Is this a review?



User avatar

Points: 369
Reviews: 3

Thu Oct 05, 2023 8:05 pm
View Likes
wonderinthewings wrote a review...

Hey friend!!! I saw you had a work in the Green Room and thought I would read it really quick!

This is really beautiful!! Every word is filled with such longing, I can almost feel it. And your rhyming is very unique! I like that the first four lines end in one rhyme but the last two are different. It emphasizes the change in times and the distance between the narrator and the girl he likes. Very cool!!

i wonder why it is marked as 18+

Have a great day!!!

anasahmad4565 says...

Thanks friend, you appreciate my work you make me more worthy of it. Iam really glad with your comment. And actually this poem i wrote is a protagonist so actually I change my mind that's why it's a little bit unique. Thank you so much for this review. Stay blessed

wonderinthewings says...

Ooooo that's really cool!!!

anasahmad4565 says...

Yeah. Thanks for that %u2764%uFE0F%u2764%uFE0F

anasahmad4565 says...

Yeah. Thanks for that %u2764%uFE0F%u2764%uFE0F

anasahmad4565 says...

Yeah. Thanks for that %u2764%uFE0F%u2764%uFE0F

anasahmad4565 says...

Yeah. Thanks for that %u2764%uFE0F%u2764%uFE0F

User avatar
172 Reviews

Points: 34172
Reviews: 172

Thu Oct 05, 2023 7:13 pm
View Likes
Roxanne wrote a review...

Greetings Poet!

Beyond my beloved horizon, I'm setting sail into uncharted pages with an itch for adventure. Through binoculars, I spy with my little eye a lovely poem titled “Lost the sight of her eyes” that deserves a good review. Therefore without further ado, let’s begin.

Very first of all, I must say that you've written quite a beautiful poem here. It appears to be a short, heartfelt expression of love and longing. You use vivid imagery and metaphors to paint a clear picture of the tale that is being told throughout the poem.

In shadows, I lost the sight of her eyes

The opening line sets the tone for your poem. The speaker talks about losing someone, someone very important, someone they love. The word "shadows" suggests that the speaker lost that certain someone in darkness or a time of uncertainty, it symbolises the loss or absence of that 'someone'.

The speaker compares the disappearance of the 'person's eyes' to stars that "vanish in the darkened skies". Stars are the symbol of beauty and wonders, so their disappearance signifies the loss of something precious.
However, the speaker expresses that even though they may have lost their special person, the memory of them will live on and never fade away.

Your poem concludes by highlighting the importance of that special person in the speaker's dreams and memories. The poem perfectly captures the essence of enduring love and the way memories of a loved one can continue to hold a special place in one's heart.

Everything in all and all in everything, I enjoyed reading your lovely poem. Your use of metaphor and imagery adds depth and emotion to the poem's message, boosting the impact of the poem.

Feel free to check out Charmed by @Lullaby for some extra inspiration and ideas!

That's it, that's all.
Hoping the review has been of value to you!

With writer’s love,

anasahmad4565 says...

Rose, your thoughtful and beautifully articulated review is like a radiant sunrise on the horizon of my writing journey. Your words have not only illuminated the essence of my poem but have also painted it with the vibrant colors of appreciation and understanding.

Your ability to dissect and interpret each line with such depth and insight is truly extraordinary. It's as if you've taken my words and woven them into a tapestry of emotions and meaning that I hadn't fully realized myself.
Iam deeply grateful for the time and care you've put into this review, and your praise is like a warm embrace to my writer's soul. Your words are a testament to the power of literature to connect hearts and minds across the written page.

With heartfelt gratitude,
[Anas Ahmad ]

Roxanne says...

Thank you for your kind words, I'm more than happy to hear that my review was of value to you!
I enjoyed writing this review as much as I enjoyed reading your poem. Good luck with your future writing projects!

anasahmad4565 says...

Thanks a lot, iam really glad with this review. Stay blessed

Remember, a stranger once told you that the breeze here is something worth writing poems about.
— Shinji Moon