𝘽𝙤𝙧𝙧𝙤𝙬𝙚𝙙 𝙇𝙞𝙛𝙚

Good morning, dear writer! Today, we chickens, for our longest dream of clearing the Green Room and dethroning the Golden Goose to finally sit on it ourselves, bring to you-

Hey there, this is Alex and I'll be reviewing your poem today! Let's dive right in ~
Top Bun: First impressions

The title and intriguing and pulled me right in! It feels about living a living a life dictated by other's expectations. The poet is not living their dream, and have in fact killed their inner kid, leading to nothing to misery. The phrasing seems really appealing, a medium the poet uses to land the final statement that they regret their decision of living like this, warning the reader to heed their mistakes and learn from it.

Slightly Wilted Lettuce: Critiques

There seems to some rhyme incorporation in the poem, but it's too scattered to stand strong and make an impact of it's own. I'd recommend tying the poem in more of a fixed pattern to bring out true beauty and make sure the message gets home to the reader.

There is also no imagery to bind the narrative, something I think the poem could've benefitted from. We know a borrowed life must feel horrible, but is there a metaphor you could use to bring the feeling to life? Try going forward with that.

but betrayed it I with a better form,

Also, I think it should be betrayed it 'for' a better form.

Crispy Chicken: Favorite details

What I wanted to be and into whom I've grown...

To me this read as if you were treading through skipping rope, so careful to put it just right. The way it makes perfect in the least amount of words is commendable!

now 'cause I know that disapproving the imperfect,
was another wrong...

Powerful and philosophical!

For, to grow into what you dream,
a borrowed life you don't need,

Such a meaningful lesson, delivered in a befitting direct tone.

is far more better than how good a borrowed life seems...

A grand ending! <3

Ketchup: Suggestions for improvement

You've got a lot to say, I think it's time to focus on the expression now. Trying sticking to a rhyme even if you have force some in the beginning. You could also try out different popular poetry forms .
Try dressing up the poetry, in a way that wins over the reader with it's poetic devices and beauty.

Bottom Bun: Closing thoughts

This is an honest poem, conveying the simple message of living as per one's own wishes. A borrowed life may look better, but is a lie bound to break. I can get behind that message! The technicalities were a little touch around the edges, but nothing that practice can't fix.

We hope this was helpful! Farewell now, we've got a Review Day to win!!




Bok bok bok buGAWK!!
Chickens

Much love, Alex

A borrowed life. I really like that.

now 'cause I know that disapproving the imperfect,
was another wrong...

Trust me 'cause I lived a borrowed life,
pretending perfection,

Pretending perfection. That's the truest thing in this entire poem. You're trying to become this better version of you and trying to fix all your wrongs.
And that slowly destroys you.
My only critique is this line.

just the incapable self that knows you great—
is far more better than how good a borrowed life seems...

I understand the stylistic choice to do this but it's a little hard to understand. It took rereading it to fully understand.