Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
This is the end of my life. I stare off into the distance, squinting from the bright light. It has to end now, that's how it's supposed to be. I can't go on any longer; my life is over. Somebody may cry for me, I hope. It has to end this way; there is no other choice.
Well this is a bit of a gloomy start to proceedings here. I don't quite know if this is meant to sound final or ominous since despite the entire story sort of tending in that somewhat more ominous direction, the actual tone of the piece has a slight causal air to it and almost some sense of acceptance. Its an interesting contrast there and it does a good job pulling us readers in.
I grab a single bullet from a nearby box, and load it into the gun. I raise it to my face, but I pause. There has to be some other way to go on with my life. I think for a moment, then my decision is final. Once again I raise the gun to my beautiful face, and stare down the barrel. It's so dark; but I know what's inside. Tears rush to my eyes, I can't hold them back. As they roll down my face, I take a large breath. I close my eyes and slowly cock the weapon; it clicks. The bullet is ready for me, and I for it. My finger slowly reaches aroudn the trigger; my tears have stopped. I straighten up and take one final breath. I pull the trigger, and hear a quick 'boom.' My body collapses onto the wooden floor; I don't move.
Well that pretty much dove right into where it seemed to be headed. Things moved a bit faster than I was expecting to. There seemed to be a little more expectation in the tone there so I though a bit more anticipation would be built up but this quick and rather decisive move makes for a more shocking moment I think which I think ultimately makes this even more powerful. Well let's see where this ends.
I say still for awhile, unaware of what's happening. The lights slowly dim, and it is the end. It turns pitch black, and I can breathe again. Nervous seconds pass by, and then, I hear it. A great sound that I have been yearning to hear, applause. I stand from the floor and face the red velvet. It parts, and I am once again hit by the bright light. I scan the audience with a smile on my face; I have done it. My fellow cast members join me on either side, and we bow together. This is the end, my dramatic end.
Well, that took quite a turn. I love the twist at the end. The best part is this seemed almost ever so slightly predictable but not really. There was just the tiniest hint that all was not bad but as a reader you're not sure at all. In the end it ends up balancing out really well and on the whole I think you've done a wonderful job of things here.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Other than that, at the same time, I WAS expecting a suicide, lol.
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