When it comes down to the end
It takes small seconds to land
Just one glance to take
No more time to wake
It’s the edge of the seat
Everything around totally get’s dark
And we don’t even see any mark
We start to feel so much pain
And then nothing is left to gain
It’s the edge of the seat
We totally stop thinking
And we start sinking
We don’t even find any way
And even don’t know where to lay
It’s the edge of the seat
Ali Murtaza S.
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140,907 Literary Works • 673,716 Reviews
This is a well written and thoughtful piece.
The only thing I have to say about correcting is on the line that says "Everything around totally get's dark". There is not supposed to be an apostrophe on the word "gets". Maybe you should put in some punctuation as well.
On everything else, good job! This poem really made me start thinking about this subject! Keep writing great stuff!
This is good. It is really unique!
Hello. \/\/onder here. I like this poem and I don't think I have much to say as far as correcting goes so, I'll make this quick. First off I commend you for sticking to the poem standards. One question I have is: Why didn't you put and periods or commas? I believe it would look even more beautiful if it did.
This poem was just beautiful the words captivated the reader and made them feel like you put the effort into amusing them. This brought tears to my eyes. So, simply magnificent. Anyway enough of my babbling. Keep writing and NEVER get discouraged!
~\/\/onder