z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

I wish that you knew.

by alexiss


I wish you knew

How much I care

I wish you knew

that I am there for you

when you're sad

when you cry

all the events in your life

we share something special

something between us two

we had something special

'till you met her and forgot me


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44 Reviews


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Reviews: 44

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Fri May 09, 2014 4:21 pm
ivyLeonora wrote a review...



This poem caught my attention right off the bat. WHY? the title.
"I wish you knew*DOT"
The dot really got me to look at it, it's really short as if it's holding a secret. As if there's a sense of unsaid words. I really like that in poems. The title is the thoughts, the secrets you never said, unlocked and woven between the stanzas and verses. I find it beautifully tragic this poem. Sharing something more with someone only to realize suddenly, that all good things come to an end.
"'till you met her and forgot me"
This line really brings tears to my eyes.




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187 Reviews


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Sun Oct 27, 2013 7:16 pm
PeanutPhoebe wrote a review...



PeanutPhoebe, here to give you a review!!

First off, even though this is a short poem, it's sweet, simple, and a little bit sad, but that's okay.;) Like I say to a lot of people (because a lot of people on here are good at this) the descriptions are really good, but simple and short at the same time. The beat is okay, but it could use some work. Umm, okay, you say twice within four lines "I wish you knew" and I like that, but after that you don't say it at all. I think you could have. Other than that, this is a really good poem!! Great job, and Keep writing!!

Lady Celestia, the Golden Knight




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Sun Oct 20, 2013 12:11 pm
satynenovak says...



Hello Alexiss! Although this is a very short poem, it gives the reader a sense of loneliness and sadness. Your poem deserves to be spotlighted.




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30 Reviews


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Sun Oct 20, 2013 3:25 am
Sleeplessend says...



Im glad to see this on literary spotlight. It deserves to be on here.




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44 Reviews


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Sat Oct 19, 2013 1:34 pm
ivyLeonora says...



This poem is very short, sweet and simple. It has a common feel of loss, that I think everyone experiences. I really liked and enjoyed this poem even if it made me cry a bit.




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Thu Oct 17, 2013 1:55 pm
LadyArtemis says...



Hi Alexiss! Glad to see that you wrote another type of writing. I have to say I love how this poem is really simple, easy to understand, and easy to relate to. I can easily relate to something like this. Great poem! You should write more poems! I'm anxiously waiting to read them.




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Wed Oct 16, 2013 7:19 pm
Jenn says...



I like your poem. It shows that you still care and miss the other person. We all have disappointments in our life, but the future has so much to offer.




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30 Reviews


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Wed Oct 16, 2013 1:20 am
Sleeplessend wrote a review...



I like the simplicity of this piece. The feelings are clear cut as well as the delivery. Most times stuff like this doesn't work but for some reason it worked well here. This makes me actually breathe easy because a writer may feel that they have to be extremely complex with their writing in order for people to like it and when that happens the possibility of the dreaded writers block creeps upon us. But for the piece itself i wouldn't change a thing it was well written and had the perfect level of simplicity. :)




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Wed Oct 16, 2013 1:07 am
chancesnchanges wrote a review...



Hi! there alexiss =^) ..

For me this a story about best friends. Where, at times, one of them falls for their friend which can lead to ~ just friends or lovers.

"I wish that you knew." Is something that we tend to utter when the person we like or love found someone that he/she can share his/her lifetime with. An event that we haven't thought of happening since we're so consumed by our fantasies and assumptions. Though, they say "If you're for each other, you're for each other", no matter how long it will take. However, when you see the person you love is happy and loved by the person he/she likes it is better that we compose ourselves again and start to let go and move on. As it is said by Francis Edward Smedley "All is Fair in Love and War", because both parties gets hurt and becomes happy. Your ever after might not be him/her but it will come in GOD's Time =^D .

Your piece is short but it expressed the hurt, pain and other emotions that someone feels after getting unnoticed by the person they've treated so special. I, also, liked the flow of the poem..

Keep going.. =^)




Sleeplessend says...


Im glad to see this on literary spotlight. It totally deserves to be on here.




Surround yourself with people who are serious about being writers, and who will tell you, ‘Hey—you can do better than this.’ Who will be critical of your work, but also supportive. And who will not be competitive in a negative way.
— Isabel Quintero