me/you

I am no expert but from a reader’s perspective I find this piece really well put together. I enjoy the structure as it differentiates from most, making it appear intriguing and refreshing at first glance. The emphasis, pauses and the thoughts in between are also a great touch and I think it flows really nicely. My favourite lines would have to be the last few lines, the ones about the ‘dense starbreath’ and how it collapses. Magical.

Hi there, Che here for a quick review. I'm still getting back into the swing of reviewing after a break but I'll do my best.
First of all, I really loved the structure of the poem; it really jumped off the page and made the poem a lot more interesting to read. I think structure is really important in poetry and that not enough people are brave enough to play around this.
Now, I don't know enough about poetry to analyse this to a professional degree or anything but I thought it was absolutely fantastic. You were able to articulate it in such a way that was both beautiful and elaborate yet easy to understand.
My favourite line was the one about daredevils, daredemons and dareangels.
Sorry that I could not go into much more detail; I honestly can't really see anything that needs improving.
Keep writing!
-che