O God! I could be bounded in a nutshell, and count myself a King of infinite space...
Hamlet, II, 2
An uninspiring existence thus far
Not a cry for help
Fear not for my sanity I still see the stars
A life full of joys, A childhood filled with toys
Clouds of sadness merely dampen the empty days
A healthy mind, a strong mind
One with boundless thoughts and magic that binds
But in moments where silence can be seen
The colours of life fade to a whimper
Those thoughts scurry out from the darkness
To search for meaning is to search in vain
To ask for meaning is to beg for pain
Spells and concoctions with no production
I see myself as one with no function
Bounded, In a nutshell
King of nothing
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Ello, Maddie here for a poem review!
First off, welcome to YWS! I hope you like it here!
I love the fact that you actually incorporated the line from Hamlet into your work. That is impressive to do, and do well. Congrats on that point. Now, I had to read Hamlet when I was a senior in high school, and funny enough this was the only line that actually stayed with me. Don't know why, I just thought it a funny idea to feel yourself to be a king despite not having that right in actuality. I enjoyed this because I guess we felt the same way about it.
Only difference is that I never would've been able to write such an elegant response to the line.
I love that the poem feels like the line. Each line carries weight, each line makes sense in what you're trying to persuade. That, and I like that it does make sense! Shakespeare sometimes liked to use the strangest syntax, so we today, especially the youth, have a hard time making sense of it from time to time. You've updated that idea with a more modern take on the era for us to enjoy today
Now, the actual meaning of this. Although it may not have been your original objective, you turned this piece from the outspoken thought of Hamlet into a lovely display of well, life. As we grow older, we find reality is a really painful place, lacking the ignorant pleasantries of childhood. We kinda go insane the more we try to take control of it, trying new ways and "spells" to put our lives together in a way we see fit. The older we get, the more it hits us. The vigor of youth fades into the wisdom of age, and with the pain, we gain our lives.
That's at least what I got out of it XDD
Keep writing, this was exceptional.
Love it!
~Maddie
Thank you. You saw things I didn't even see
I really like this idea! The language is really good. And it totally fits the Shakespeare language. I think that in the 5th line I would say "Fear no for my sanity for I see the stars." However, if you want to keep it like it is, add a comma between the sanity and I. That is just how I see it. Also I wouldn't call him the king of nothing, I would call him the king of eternal emptiness.
Thanks for the great poem, can't wait to hear more from you.