It reaches into the depths of my heart,
Grasping for a place to live.
It’s eternal beauty draws me into its depths.
It is more than a person, object or emotion.
Lingering in unexpected places,
It surprises you, pulling you into its beauty,
And never letting you go.
Its power is greater than any mortal or immortal being,
Silencing all evil, and caressing all pain.
It’s there when you need it the most,
Lighting up even the darkest of places.
Its power melt’s away all worry and trouble,
Leaving only happiness and joy.
This mysterious thing engulfs every being,
Filling all souls with a passion and desire,
far stronger than any imaginable.
It is love.
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
a_wolf123,
The potential that might have been here has probably vanished. Before I read the end, I thought this was about God, so you might want to consider creating better descriptions than what you have.
You need to channel a competent poet. This reads like a parody of late 19th century fluff.
"Its power is greater than any mortal or immortal being,
Silencing all evil, and caressing all pain.
It’s there when you need it the most,
Lighting up even the darkest of places.
Its power melt’s away all worry and trouble,
Leaving only happiness and joy. "
This would be funny if it wasn't such a waste of the reader's time.
The only good news is that you didn't put much time into it when you wrote it. Quit while you're ahead.
Don't bother editing this.
Best,
Brad
Er... grammatical nitpicks!
"It’s eternal beauty draws me into its depths."
You got the first "its" wrong and the second "its" right. Basically, when you have "it" is possessive, it does not have an apostrophe. It's kind of weird, but whatever. It's just one of those things in English you just have to memorize.
So it should be
"Its eternal beauty draws me into its depths."
And...
"Its power melt’s away all worry and trouble, "
This one, the word in question is "melt's." The way you have it written out now means "melt is" and that doesn't make sense. So take away the apostrophe.
So it should be:
"Its power melts away all worry and trouble, "
Plus, the title needs to be renamed into "Love's Mysteries."
The last line of the poem has to be separated from the rest of the poem, if it wants any impact. Try several things, including breaking it up into its own stanza, italicizing it, whatever. But it has to be bolder.
Anyway, nice try. Keep on practicing... you're on your way with honing quite a talent.
WOw the poem was really good,
and u chose a wonderful topic to write on that is 'Love Mysteries'.
Well done.
I enjoyed reading this. I like the way you say "silencing all evil and caressing all pain." B-e-a-utiful! Good job!
Pandora