Life as a ghost seems lonely indeed
A specter upon my grim, ghastly steed
I served the one you mortals call “death”
Bringing home corpses that heaved their last breath
My life was hopeless; I reached its end
In life I was lonely, nary a friend
But in death I flourished, excitedly
Helping the kind man who had redeemed me
‘Til a day came where that was no more
I woke from my slumber, filthy and sore
Back from the dead, back to misery
The warlock who raised me cackled with glee
Wondering when, again, should I die
I stretched rather quickly, then asked him why
Why he should bring me out of my grave
He replied “Sweet dear, to make you my slave!”
Body compelled, I walked to his dell
Grumpy and angry, but caught in his spell
Trying to thwart it to no avail,
I shuddered to think that he pierced the veil!
I turned to Death, and to him I’d pray
I’d not be a servant another day!
Silent was Death, but my plan took shape
Within the next day, I’d make my escape!
After some raking on one summer eve
I forged a lie that he seemed to believe
“Come to the farm and look hard and well
Your crops are blighted. Could it be a spell?”
The fool followed me into the field
He had no weapons, no armor, no shield
When he came to the spot of the “blight”
I raised my shovel and gave him a fright!
With that same shovel, covered in blood,
I dug his grave and dropped him in the mud
I heard a voice echo in my head
“Thank you, my child, he is better off dead.”
So I stayed alive and traveled Earth
Judging the people for what they were worth
I killed the ones whose lives were deemed through
That’s what my master was hoping I’d do!
Mortals in life had learned to fear me
I was a reaper on Death’s lone decree
I wiped by axe, but said with a sigh
Was better off dead, can’t wait ‘till I die!
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125,027 Literary Works • 672,774 Reviews
I loved reading this poem. The absolutely one reason why I enjoyed it was because the rhyming was so good. I'm not a really good rhymer when it comes to poems, but you did this perfectly well and gave me a good example.
''Life as a ghost seems lonely indeed
A specter upon my grim, ghastly steed
I served the one you mortals call “death”
Bringing home corpses that heaved their last breath
My life was hopeless; I reached its end
In life I was lonely, nary a friend
But in death I flourished, excitedly''
I kind of was confused with this part. The person (I'm guessing its a girl) is lonely when she is dead, yet still enjoys being dead? Girlie, make up your mind!
''‘Til a day came where that was no more
I woke from my slumber, filthy and sore
Back from the dead, back to misery
The warlock who raised me cackled with glee
Wondering when, again, should I die''
So I'm going to put together a theory. The reason why the girl died was because she didn't like living, and that she hoped she would feel better among the dead, because that's why she said ''back to misery''.
''He had no weapons, no armor, no shield
When he came to the spot of the “blight”
I raised my shovel and gave him a fright!
With that same shovel, covered in blood,''
Despite how gory it's supposed to sound, it doesn't really sound gory, and that's good. I like how throughout the poem it still keeps that same old Victorian style of writing and tone (if you get what I mean).
I really like this poem, and I love when I see poems like this. Good luck Shakespeare Junior!
Such a great read! Felt like a breath of fresh air. Let's break down what happened, my favourite bits and parts I think could use some work.
A spooky theme & a fun story- That's how you design a masterpiece. Such an eye catching title that delivers the horror it promises.
So you start with the ghost telling us of its time in the Underworld, serving Death.
I find that to be such an astounding depiction. It narrates how its life as a human had been desolate. As a ghost, it now has a purpose- a job to do, and somewhat of a friend or companion in Death. Thus, it prefers being a ghost over a human. This breaks the prejudice of the readers towards the horrors of Deaths and ghosts. At the same time, it sheds light on the growing social isolation in humanity, a fate the ghost finds much worse than being among the dead.
Then the setting of the story seems to shift as the ghost is brought back to life. A new character- the warlock, an eerie personality. He's trapped the revived ghost in his spell and narrates his plan to make it his slave.
This part rather appealed, particularly because of the parallel that can be drawn along it. I find it symbolic of the odd relationship between humans and God, which is replicated in that between the ghost and Death. When ghost prays to Death for escape, it's master remains silent. It resonates to our God that doesn't answer back either. But like the ghost, we don't end I'm ruin. As Death gives him wisdom to devise a plan to get out, God also shows us the way through our problems when we seek guidance, even if subtly.
The ghost executes his plan, killing the warlock and thus regains its freedom. But in doing so, he has unexpectedly found a purpose.
To me it signifies how unpredictable fate is. It all might seem like it's derailing but we always end up doing what we're meant to. Life takes us where we're mean to be. At the same time, it depicts the ghost's devotion to Death. While it'd prefer death anyday, he's still happy to serve Death as he needs it to. The ghost prioritises its purpose and what needs to be done over its personal preferences. Still it's excited for it to be over and go back to serving Death.
This tale felt the perfect balance. The dark theme keeps things anchored while the slight humor keeps it afloat. A great combination of being grounded and flying high. The reader never gets an opportunity to get bored. First he's suprised by the ghost preferring death, what is human's exaggerated fear. Just as it is narrating how it loves serving Death, it's revived back to life by an evil warlock, intending to make a slave of him. Thus events justify his stand of not liking life. But he manages to make its way out using wit and force. While dealing with all this, it discovers a new role to play as Death's reaper. However, it still looks forward to going back to the days before. The story keeps on spinning unpredictably without making wild and baseless advances.
Enjoyed it thoroughly. Loved the jolly tone of the ghost Especially the disguised symbolisms and sarcasm on humanity, life and our prejudice towards Death & ghosts. Keep up the good work!
But I do think breaking the poetry down into stanzas would render it more clarity. My idea would be to divide it into 3 bits - before revival, then being revived to upto it kills the warlock and then it settling in as it's new role as reaper. While the poetry is in AABB rhyme scheme, there are 2 places where it breaks- I know it shouldn't annoy me this much but it's just bothersome. Just some ideas, take them into consideration only if u want to. All in all, awesome work
Hi, AlexWrites! Thank you so much for this super in-depth review! Sorry I'm so late to respond to it, I've been swamped with college stuff lol. I'm glad you like the poem! And I think you're right that it would be improved by being broken into stanzas. I will definitely do that next time!
Hiya, mint here with a review!
I enjoyed reading this poem. Most of the rhymes felt pretty natural, and the overall concept was refreshing and humorous (if a bit dark sometimes). Without further ado, I'll talk about some specifics!
This is such a good way to show that the narrator isn't mortal (by addressing the comment to "you mortals") :]
I couldn't figure out who this "kind man" was supposed to be. Is it Death? I don't know if I'd consider Death a man... Or if the kind man is someone else, perhaps that story could either be woven into this poem as well, or the line could be cut to not confuse things?
I love that we get the perspective of the corpse raised from the dead! It's also such a great twist that the narrator found death to be better than life.
The rhymes flow well throughout the poem, but I thought this was a particularly good example. These lines sound natural, and I could imagine someone saying them aloud. Nice work!
Overall, this was a delightful poem. Thanks for sharing, and I hope you have a wonderful day/night! =D
Hello, Spearmint! Thank you for your review! Yeah, the "kind man" was supposed to be Death. You're right that it's unclear who "kind man" was referring to, mb! Thanks for the advice! I'm glad you liked the poem!
Thanks for the reply and clarification!
I really like this poem but it seems a little dark you know. The story gives me goosebumps when it progresses. This sounds like something which would have happened in the past in chinese culture or so (not to disrespect the chinese culture). The story of the ghost is like a rollercoaster and when I am engrossed in your poem, the feeling that such a demon-like presence exists in the world is really scary. However, I must say, you're quite creative.
This sounds like poem with ideas taken from myths. You have personified death and says that the ghost serves death. It seems like you are talking about the god of death who is in charge of managing the corpses and deaths of the people. The ghost seems like working for him. And this conveys the idea that there is another world for dead people if they become ghosts and they don't roam around the mortal realm randomly ghosting people as we believe. A ghosts bringing corpses sounds very demonic though. I can almost imagine a situation where a translucent bloody figure carrying empty dead bodies of people through a broad cave with cobwebs and scary-looking statues and all. That is truly horrific.
When you say that he was "flourishing" in death rather than in life it makes me think whether are you hinting at people who are suffering in this world full of cruel humans and they are happy off dead rather than living among humans. And that even a ghost repaying gratitude when he says "Helping the kind man who had redeemed me" gives us the message that even a ghost remembers kindness, why we humans don't?
The next part of the poem, where someone summons the ghost to the mortal world back from death to make him his slave, further proves that humans are evil. That sounds like witchcraft or Black Magic. His insistence to stay with the death itself and not wanting to live again makes me wonder what he faced in the mortal world while he was living and what happened for him to resent the living so much? This also makes me wonder, according to your poe, which era are you pointing at. Because these type of witchcrafting techniques do not exist anymore, right?
The way he escaped from his slavery is also quite cruel. But of course, I can't blame him for he was forcefully being used by the other person and he was unhappy. However, by the end of the poem, I don't understand whether this living ghost is a good one or a bad one. I mean, he travels the earth, judging people for good and bad they have done, and punishes bad people helping countless other people who would have suffered because of those bad people. That is a good thing of course. But one person having the authority to judge other people and punish them in such cruel ways, that doesn't seem right. Judging someone else is complicated and it can't always be justified. One can do a cruel act but it doesn't necessarily mean that one is a bad person because everyone has their own reasons. Whether they are valid reasons or not, it depends on the perspective of the observator, right? And, death encouraging this ghost to keep doing so is complicated as well. Although this ghost is particularly happy with death, death is generally considered a bad thing, right?
Hi, Nethmi! Thank you for the review! This was supposed to take place in the 1600's ish, although I haven't researched that time period. The witchcrafting technique that the warlock used doesn't exist anymore, but I'm trying to learn from an ancient spellbook I found. And you're right, death is usually considered a bad thing, but I think it's cool to personify it and make him a good or at least neutral guy. Thanks again for the awesome review!