Crickets

Hello! Stopping by for a quick review!

I love that the rhyme scheme makes the poem read very lyrically throughout; each line flows well! It contrasts to the darker themes and creates an interesting juxtaposition between structure and content matter. The engagement of the senses is also a strong suit I noted throughout. Specifically:

And flowers cover the scent of death
I bathe in guilt from all my crimes
My test subject draws its final breath.

These ending lines are my favorite part! They pack a punch and also evoke the senses through vivid imagery - "the scent of death" is so poignant, and I wonder if there could be more specificity here? What does this scent mean?

My main suggestion would be to perhaps play around with the formatting. To emphasize the rhyming structure, you could try breaking the lines up in stanzas aligned with the rhyme scheme. As of right now the only line that is differentiated from the rest is "Over corpses of his dying kin" which I find interesting - not sure if this was intentional, but it makes it stand out but makes me wonder as the reader why it is special?

It's cool to see science/experimentation explored as a subject matter in poetry. That's admittedly not something I find quite often, and the message behind weighing personal morals with greater scientific discovery is powerful. Overall, lovely work!

Calamity

Hey there! Alex here for a review.

A simple yet pulling title that invokes curiousity. It's quite innovative to think someone could manage to write an entire poetry on it. Commendable.

And froze it in ice
So it wouldn’t move
When I stabbed its chest

Such a striking beginning! It has a sinister vibe to it, similiar to the actions of a butcher.

And it paid the price
So science can prove
That it is the best.

These lines managed to perfectly capture the gist of your work. The last line almost feels like a targeted irony. As if the science's burning ego requires the sacrifice of numerous animals and insects subjected to laboratry experiments to keep burning.

The creature squirmed, its little arms
Tried pulling the needles from its chest

That's some chilling imagery! The depiction of the insect's struggles against your probing makes its pain feel even more real and loud. It's not lying down in helplessness, but trying its utmost to save itself. Makes it all the more difficult for you to conduct your research, seeing its pain firsthand.

Without a doubt
Not a student liked
And no one endorsed

As compared to the rest of the poetry, these lines offer hope and compassion. There's an unsaid sympathy in the eyes of the students. They're united in their dislike of the cruel methods science resorts to for its own progress. But they're all aware that it's inevitable. There's simply no alternative, but that doesn't make doing things this way any easier.

That cricket drugged and stabbed with pins-
And tragically the creature walks
Over corpses in the “rehab bin”
Over corpses of his dying kin

Again, a very vivid depiction that hits the bullseye. The last line in particular, soul piercing. It's got to be my most favourite one.

For what? The green lines on my screen?
To learn how to torture innocents?

The next lines seem to have turned the steering wheel. The poem now dwells in the deeper aspect of things as it explores the meaning and purpose of all this. These lines were so drenched with emotions. The rage over harming innocents speaks directly to the heart, in perfect resonance.

Except to erode my innocence.
I bathe in guilt from all my crimes
My test subject draws its final breath

Utterly crushing. These lines portrayed the real cost of all this. A lost innocence, and a dead innocent. Beautiful yet shattering.

All in all, a spine chilling poem! It speaks of the pain of both sides- the lab insect and the one conducting the experiment. Both hate it just as much but it's the small price that gets paid for the advancement of science and learning.

It actually hits quite close to home. Soon I'm going to learn operating on cadavers and I'm still not sure how to feel about it. It's scary for me and disrespectful to the literal person who died just to be cut open by wannabes. But everyone knows it will be done anyways. Apparently, it's all for the 'greater good'. You can't help but wish of an easier way instead, but there just isn't one. This poem I felt perfectly captured the dark side of scientific reasearch. All the lab rats poked just for more data. Sad but real.

As for the suggestions, I've noticed this to be your usual go-to way of writing things, as I had read your other work 'Dig Up Her Bones'. The idea of this piece in a single stanza looks a lot better in the head. But I'm afraid it comes across a little muddled on paper. It's a lot more subtle than your previous work though, so keep up for that. There's no real boundaries in the flow of the story which does make breaking it into stanzas much more trickier and thus not worth it. In my personal opinion though, it still could make a lot more impact if it had little breaks. It'd contribute to the overall structure and might even help with the flow, contrary to popular belief. All I recommend is that you give multiple stanzas a try sometime, you might end up liking the result a lot better than you thought you would! If you still feel your previous format to be better after it, feel free to return to it. I just hate seeing such a well written poem graze past the mark just because of some untidy structure. But then again, just my opinion. Only take it if you think it resonates.

To give you a better idea, if I were you, I'd break it down like this-

Stanza 1- I caught a bug/That it is the best. (I sense a latent cut here)

Stanza 2- The creature squirmed, its little arms/Electrodes impaled that little pest (These lines have somewhat the same theme)

Stanza 3- Action potentials were recorded/The doctor injected nicotine (draws attention on the rhyme which was previously almost hidden)

Stanza 4- The bug spazzed out/In his abdomen (keeping consistent with the four line stanza and cutting it right here to our to make the next stanza shine)

Stanza 5- Without a doubt/The trials therein (related lines on a single aspect of things, tied together)

Stanza 6- We put the bug back in a box/Over corpses of his dying kin (a similiar sinister vibe)

Stanza 7- For what? The green lines on my screen/My test subject draws its final breath.(The epic closing about diving deeper into the meaning of it all)

Another suggestion, i feel like adding the word 'As' at the beginning of the last line would enhance the impact as well as add a continuity with the previous line. I think it just sounds better that way.

Of course, these are all merely my own suggestions. You're free to disagree if you feel that it captures your thoughts more in the present form. The poem is already perfect, you don't need to change a thing If you don't feel the need to.