The afternoon sun spies in
Through drawn curtains and barred doors;
Spreading its tentacles in-between crevices,
Creeping into the silence of an empty kitchen.
Ivy of sunbeams drapes over the tiled walls,
Tracing cracks in the black glass table top,
Ricocheting off the bronze frosted window panes.
The afterglow of a once-burning argument
Now cooled to a gentle midsummer caress.
The sun always finds a way in.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,354 Literary Works • 672,540 Reviews
Nah because THIS feels like the kind of poem you read twice and then just sit there staring at the ceiling for a minute 😭
The imagery here is actually crazy good. Like “spreading its tentacles in-between crevices” and “ivy of sunbeams”?? That’s such a pretty way to describe sunlight without making it sound basic or overdone. The whole kitchen scene feels weirdly alive even though it’s empty.
And the shift from physical sunlight to emotional tension was smooth as hell. “The afterglow of a once-burning argument / Now cooled to a gentle midsummer caress” is probably my favorite part. It feels like two people who were hurting each other but time softened the edges a little. Not fully healed maybe, but quieter.
Also the last line??
“The sun always finds a way in.”
Yeah nah that line carries the entire poem on its back 💀
It changes everything before it. Suddenly the sunlight doesn’t just feel like sunlight anymore. It feels like hope, memory, forgiveness, maybe even unwanted truth creeping in whether people are ready or not.
And honestly? This feels more mature than a lot of modern poetry online because you trusted the imagery instead of overexplaining emotions. You let the reader feel it themselves. That’s hard to do.
This one got that warm lonely feeling to it. Like dust floating in a quiet room after somebody leaves.
Nah because THIS feels like the kind of poem you read twice and then just sit there staring at the ceiling for a minute 😭
The imagery here is actually crazy good. Like “spreading its tentacles in-between crevices” and “ivy of sunbeams”?? That’s such a pretty way to describe sunlight without making it sound basic or overdone. The whole kitchen scene feels weirdly alive even though it’s empty.
And the shift from physical sunlight to emotional tension was smooth as hell. “The afterglow of a once-burning argument / Now cooled to a gentle midsummer caress” is probably my favorite part. It feels like two people who were hurting each other but time softened the edges a little. Not fully healed maybe, but quieter.
Also the last line??
“The sun always finds a way in.”
Yeah nah that line carries the entire poem on its back 💀
It changes everything before it. Suddenly the sunlight doesn’t just feel like sunlight anymore. It feels like hope, memory, forgiveness, maybe even unwanted truth creeping in whether people are ready or not.
And honestly? This feels more mature than a lot of modern poetry online because you trusted the imagery instead of overexplaining emotions. You let the reader feel it themselves. That’s hard to do.
This one got that warm lonely feeling to it. Like dust floating in a quiet room after somebody leaves.
Neat!!
hi!!! majuli here to review!!
i like this poem. the imagery is so soft but also heavy at the same time. the sunlight is described to feel almost alive, like its trying to touch every feeling in the room.
“spreading its tentacles” and “ivy of sunbeams” are SUCH pretty lines because they make the light feel consuming and comforting. its like the house is carrying the remains of an argument and the sunlight is just there highlighting it.
also the whole kitchen setting is so thought out. empty kitchens always have this emotional energy and the imagery captures that so beautifully.
and honestly the last two lines really wrap up the poem. “the sun always finds a way in” sounds nostalgic and bittersweet.
definitely a very good poem. thank you for sharing.
The ending was really adorable, and the imagery was peak. I haven't seen you in a while, but I feel like I have seen it before. Keep writing, friend! :p
I think I was the most active during covid and since then, life has happened, and I show up on YWS occasionally now. Thanks for leaving the comment.
"The afternoon sun spies in
Through drawn curtains and barred doors"
I like the way you describe everything in this poem, it creates this heartwarming feeling along with a strong yet soft imagery. This line feels like the sun silently observes the hurdles, like a spy. I feel like it can signify many things in real life,my personal interpretation is that this shows that there can still be a need for closure even after an emotional distance between two people.
"Spreading its tentacles in-between crevices,
Creeping into the silence of an empty kitchen"
Idk why this line feels like childhood wrapped in nostalgia's lens, that's simply the kind of feeling that evokes through the line. That aside, this is a beautiful description. Indeed the sun reached the darkest corners of a dull kitchen, filling it with life despite the fact the the kitchen doesn't really serve a lot of purpose other than filling people's stomachs. This reminds me of purpose and how happiness and our purpose in life are not related, that we can feel happy despite being lost in life, that the happiness will reach the hidden parts of us like a tentacle like creature.
"Ivy of sunbeams drape over the tiled walls,
Tracing cracks in the black glass table top,
Ricocheting off the bronze frosted window panes"
I have a personal experience with the word ricochet like it's an old friend. Often times I end up remembering where I first discovered a word and I remember finding this word in my all time favourite book, On Earth we're briefly gorgeous. I don't know why I decided to mention this but the word already created this familiar feeling for me. That aside, it's beautiful phrasing.
"The afterglow of a once-burning argument
Now cooled to a gentle midsummer caress.
The sun always finds a way in."
This
This is perhaps my favourite part of the poem. It ties back to the feeling of hopefulness, a lovely way to end the poem. That there could still be a hope for reconciliation after a burning argument of the past that might've disrupted the harmony between the hearts. It's beautiful, it's hopeful and optimistic.
Alright, that's all, keep writing ^^
I am glad that it conveys the tone of hopefulness to you because I was def going for it. And I have On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous in my Want to Read Goodreads list, hope to get around to it soon.
Hai :3
Ohhh this is so quietly tense and beautiful!! I love how the poem takes something usually warm and comforting, the afternoon sun, and makes it feel almost intrusive at first. There’s such a strong sense of aftermath here, like the real violence or conflict has already happened before the poem begins, and now all that’s left is light moving through the room, touching what people refuse to touch. That’s so neat!! The whole piece feels suspended in the silence after an argument, where every object suddenly feels too visible.
I love “spies in” so much. It immediately personifies the sun as nosy, invasive, maybe even guilty. The drawn curtains and barred doors make the room feel defensive, like the people inside have tried to shut out the world, or maybe shut out each other. But the sun still enters. That already gives the poem this quiet inevitability.
^^^ “Barred doors” is interesting because it makes the domestic space feel almost carceral. Is that intentional? If so, I love it!! It makes the kitchen feel less like a home and more like a place of emotional confinement.
This is such lush imagery!! “Ivy of sunbeams” is especially lovely because it softens the earlier tentacles while keeping the same reaching motion. The sun becomes less monstrous and more natural, almost restorative. I really like that shift. The light is still entering without permission, but now it feels like it might be covering the room gently rather than violating it.
The black glass tabletop is such a good detail, too. Glass already suggests fragility, reflection, and sharpness, but black glass specifically feels sleek and cold. The cracks being traced by sunlight makes the damage impossible to ignore. That’s such a beautiful metaphor for aftermath ~~ Like, the light does not create the wound, but it reveals more of it to see.
^^^ I wonder if “drape” should be “drapes” because “ivy” is singular. Tiny grammar thing, but since the poem is so polished and image-heavy, small adjustments like that will make it feel even cleaner.
What a perfect final line!! It feels simple, but it opens up the whole poem. On one level, it’s literal: light enters through cracks, curtains, windows. But emotionally, it feels like hope, truth, memory, or tenderness forcing its way into places that try to stay closed. I love that it doesn’t say whether this is good or bad. The sun finding a way in can be comforting, but also exposing. That ambiguity makes me want to linger longer!!
Overall, this is such a delicate and cinematic poem!! It does so much with one small domestic scene. I adore how you move from intrusion to beauty without making the shift feel too neat. The poem understands that after an argument, peace can feel strange too, almost suspicious, but still soft. Really beautiful work!! ^_^
- Payton
This is such a lovely review and really pins what I was going for. Also, thanks for catching the grammar miss!