The methodology of beauty:
between piano chords, we listen to the rain fall. It splashes into the river. I am gone, lost through holes knife-point whittled into a set of reed pipes, lost to the rising wetland water. Each heart-beat is scattered, conducted like a flight of swallows.
Homesexual romance is a broken mirror. Two friends, two lovers, miss-matched comedies and tragedies. You’re my better half, seen through a raindrop: wobbling with delicate viscosity, falling, perfectly shattered.
Our bones are one. Our flesh is separate and stinking with perfume. In a series of dancing angles, we break like silk. We share our breath, our dream-scarred cigarette smoke, our deep-belly sorrow, through the sacred gate of our lips.
To love is to desire the goddess, to lose yourself between beats.
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140,073 Literary Works • 673,000 Reviews
'Ello there!
Oh wow, the images here are just so elegant. I'd say your words do match up with the whole outcome you've presumably reached for; "broken mirror" for the hatred LGBTQ+ people receive almost daily, and the "comedies and tragedies" aspect can also apply to that concept, I believe. I also love the element of raindrops + shattering as well.
Methodology means "a system of methods used in a particular area of study or activity," but I don't see where that ties into everything else? I tend to use research methodology in my studies often, so that could be me looking into it too far.
I do like the idea, though - "what methods do so-called beautiful things practice to be considered as beautiful as they are?" is a thought that I might think on some more later because it feels quite interesting.
I'm a little unsure about the piano imagery here, but storms sounding like songs and pianos both would work well together; there's just a disconnect between ideas from every break with music -> mirrors -> flesh and bone, and then ending it back with the whole music thing. Alone, the approaches fit the topic, but together they're mushed too closely, to me.
I wouldn't like my skin stinking with anything, even if it's something that's meant to smell good. That verb is very negative; of course, the idea isn't all that positive now, but the usage of referring to anything as "stinking" would make me feel more disgusted than sorrowful for our narrator and their relationship with their partner.
Ahh I really loved this a lot ~
L & F
Akan bright here for a review. I would say that you tried in putting this work together but in the same way, I don't think it makes sense. I speak for myself. Moreover, I can't pick out a clear standing point to comment and analyze on.
You tried, I would say but your words are counterfeited and mismatch the real proposed outcome of the poem
Am sorry, but I have to say this. I don't know if you are just starting to write poetries or so, but the way your meters are aren't impressive and I dont know if you're the one that made it that way cause you like it. Well thats your choice, but still you have to arrange your words and verses not to contradict each other so it could make much sense to the reader and at least form and expression of an identified concept of inculcating imagery in the middle d of the reader.
I like your high sounding language, but at times, it is not adviseable for writers to make use of it, as it could be a problem to easy comprehension.
Nevertheless, I like the fact that you tried to at least put something down in writing. Its really nice and advocating.