We've all assumed and made fun of the things that we just don't 'get'.
But there's a difference between 'knowing' something and living it.
Life's a mountain and true faith means working to the top.
But even striving's got to have its limit- and now's the time to stop.
--
So now we've confused striving with strife ,and it's just getting worse.
Because the truth is that nowhere's safe when there's hatred in the church.
Arguing over the fact and fiction that we just don't understand.
Failing to realize that love and punishment really go hand in hand.
--
Others look at us, and are hearing us sing our life-song.
Some may be loving the tune ,but we've just got the pitch wrong.
We are representing more than just body and a buildin'.
It's all about the god of Moses and the Holy spirit that filled him.
--
Heaven and Hell are real - but that's not the full story.
We need to be representing Christ and bringing him the glory.
You see- every religion has got to have its Westboro(s) and Lakewood(s).
But just because I'm feeling it doesn't mean that the action is good.
--
Nobody is perfect- but that's really no excuse.
And sinning in salvation repetitively is just abuse.
We're trying to build a temple without reading the directions,
and using pretty words and phrases to cover its imperfections.
--
Just doing good works and playing yourself will get you nowhere.
You'll make it to that point in your life- and then you'll just stay there.
Pursuing only heaven as your main goal is no real accomplishment.
'Making it' is fine- but how did you change the world while you were in it?
--
All I'm saying is that life is too short to be a lie.
You may think pursuing truth is "boring" but you won't know if you won't try.
Love your neighbor- then proclaim that you truly love your God.
Jesus is my driver and I'm in the backseat of a hot rod.
--
That's life.
So find the balance.
Of understanding and aversion.
Of love and disdain.
Of self control and assertion.
Of resting in the sunset and singin' in the rain.
Of discipline and forgiveness.
Of joy and long-suffering.
Of stern knowledge and innocence.
Of knowing when to turn the dial of life from fast-paced to buffering.
----
That's probably the hardest thing about Christianity.
We've had the answer for a while, but refuse to pursue it.
And when we do- we get the balance all wrong.
Christianity isn't Burger King.
And we can't 'have it our way'
We're either too hot or too old.
Too New-aged or too old( fashioned).
Too judgmental or too understanding.
The only difference is the title.
And in the end- The God that saved us takes all the blame. Dear God, I'm Sorry.
You have been reading ALOT of good Christian books. ALOT of them
wow...just wow. I was raised in the church of God all my life, and this piece really stunned me, it's what a lot of people are thinking, what I've been thinking for a long while now, but can't convey it without getting too angry and loosing my point or being too afraid to upset people by telling the truth. Really great piece, with your permission I'd like to reccomend it to a few of my friends, I feel like they could really benifit from reading it. Also, LOVE your signature, pray until something happens, that's amazing and it made me smile
I love it! Keep it up!
Good luck and God bless!
~H. C. Smith
Naw. It's just my style, thank you.
I hate cookie-cutter writing.
Thank you for the review, though.
-Jojo
I mean this in the least harshest way possible but I found this to look more like some manifesto instead of a poem, to me it did not reflect the beauty one would normally find in a poem. It's not so much the subject matter as such it's the fact that to me it just seems like you are trying to spew your ideas out in a sort of structure that seems a bit like some sort of cliff notes to the Bible. I just didn't think it was a poem. I think it would be more appropriate to the subject matter if you presented it in more of a suitable format than as a poem. Thankyou for taking the time out to read my review. I'm sorry it was so critical xx
Thanks for the review!
One word - Amen.
I loved this poem and it has feeling. You really like creating works on controversial topics...
My only real critiques are that, since you are speaking about God, you should capitalize all of the "he's" and "him's".
Also, be careful when using such long sentences in a poem, they may disrupt the flow or overdo it.
Well, that's about it, great work!
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ shiney1 Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ
That is so true especially with christianity nowadays. A double Amen for ringing the bell of truth! Beautiful poem I enjoyed reading it and it has ministered to me as well. Thank you for posting this
Dear Jojo,
I'm finally here.
I go to the technical sides first. Should I? Yes, I should.
For me, it's OK to put up the whole word: building.
Love this stanza.
I want to cry.
NITPICKS
I go all spinning with the format, dear. You use quotation quotes and apostrophes interchangeably for emphasizing something. Choose one! xD And the bold and italics also made my head spin. Then we had small fonts underneath, which, surprisingly (?), seems part of the poem. (LOL) If it wasn't, well, you're a natural poet.
OVERALL
If I were alone right now - obviously, I'm not (LOL) - I would have cried. I mean, the Enemy is penetrating the church.
My... It's just sad. I can't speak about it right. Every time I think about it, it just brings me down. It's just too sad. Let's pray for our the body of Christ. Sometimes, oh wait, MOST of the time, Christians are moving as if they would rather please people than to glorify God.
Thanks for sharing this, Jojo. God bless!
Forever in Christ,
Jash ♥
Thanks, but no thanks.
I'm on a spiritual quest right now. And I have other things in need to focus on.
But I really appreciate the offer.
Hope he succeeds( and junk).
-Jojo
I have a friend who will rap it for you, maybe. Want me to ask him if he'll do it?
Thanks for the reviews, but I'll write about what I feel compelled to.
Life in general isn't care-free. So I wrote about what is near to my heart.
Thank you!
Well, hmmmmmmm... I liked the way you wrote it, it sounded very artistic, so I'll give you props for that, but like you said, it was controversial. I didn't really like the topic in general. I don't know, I just didn't think the style of writing (the beautiful poetry) fits with the controversial, almost political views. Nice job with the writing, and I realize it's your style, but they might turn out a lot better if you write about something more care free, it would be beautiful.
Sorry if I was critical, but it's just the way I roll.
That's what it was at first. And I was about to email it to one of my favorite Christian rappers.
But I was too lazy.
Thanks for the review!
Hey Jojo!
You see- every religion has got to have its Westboro(s) and Lakewood(s).
But just because I'm feeling it doesn't mean that the action is good.
I'm not quite sure what you mean here... the other verses made sense! It's just this one which seems a little off.
This poem also seems to be three different poems... I would probably split them up into three separate poems! I do like the Burger King analogy though.
The first poem seems like it would be an awesome rap. So, if you have any friends who like rap, maybe you could get them to record this for you. It may be fun.
As far as putting love and punishment together? That kind of hints of S&M, so I might try rewording it a bit... it's a little awkward as it is! Unless, of course, you wanted that sort of imagery to come out.
Hope that helps!
Thanks for the reviews.
No- I'll pass on the debate. I've made up my mind (religiously speaking), so there really is nothing to debate.
But thank you for being considerate and focused.
I really respect that in a person.
---------------
-Jojo
All all honesty, when I read this, I didn't take it as a poem. Because the form is pretty much just spacing your sentences out in a way that doesn't make it an essay or report. Hence why I'm not going to critique it in that manner.
But I will say that I'm a little surprised.
I'm not going to start an argument or debate anything on a review because that wouldn't be positive in the least. Your inspiration comes from your belief and I respect that whole-heartedly. What I will say though is that I don't really find this controversial. Its what the church expects of you, almost. Its been hammered down into anyone and everyone who has attempted to put themselves into something of that general sort. Its the 'stamp' that one should recieve the moment they decide to believe.
Maybe thats why I don't believe. Because I don't need a 'stamp' to be a good person, nor do I put blame on anyone but myself, especially when, in my case, I would be blaming something that doesn't exist.
I respect your opinion. I think this poem shows you're a good ol' christian girl, and thats cool. You have faith which is something a lot of people can't seem to find in their lives. I personally would never choose to find that path for the sheer skepticism in me, but if you find something in it, its really yours to feel and I'm glad you took the time to put those emotions out there even if the feedback, like my own, wasn't really 'for' the topic.
Other than that, I respect you, but I would move this from poetry. To me it doesn't seem at all like it would fit under those pretenses. Sorry if thats harsh!
If you wish to continue talking about this or to 'strike up a debate' as some would see fit, just message me. I'm the type to put my opinions across, but not where it doesn't seem fit. On a review which is supposed to show form and grammatical strength, I shouldn't go into a religious debate so I wont.
~The.Dreamwalker
Well, there is a judgment side to God that people really don't like to acknowledge
(even some of his own followers don't believe that Hell exists- but it does)
And that's where my whole "love and punishment" stanza comes in.
And that's probably the reason why hard-core believers aren't too popular.
They acknowledge that God isn't a push - over, he does punish people for sinning, and Hell is waiting for those who refuse to repent.
That's our belief, anyway.
Nowadays, people are trying to either water down the basics of Christianity- or become loveless fundamentalists. Both of which are a terrible and complete misrepresentations of the God we serve.
God loves us, and he punishes us, too.
Can't have one without the other and really succeed in life.
Doesn't stop people from trying, though.
I hope that answers your question.
Thanks for the reviews.
--------------------------
-Jojo
Hey, it's brave of you to do something controversial. In general it was quite nice but i felt that the lines where to long, and because of that the rhyming almost useless, I also didn't really get the rhythm either but take what i say with a grain of salt as i am no expert.
As a generally open minded, non- religious person ( and that does not mean I'm atheist, i believe in a god but i don't like the system and the idea of religious fundamentalism, basically the people not the religion) i found most of your point's valid. Your voice really got though, which is great.
I also liked the set up of this poem, the shape was very good, I'm a freak and I'm really fussy about the shape of a poem. I don't understand how you argued for the other side but you seemed to have really looked though the problems of religion but in the end you justified or glazed over the problems.
Some of your lines where just amazing. But i don't understand how you still believe in Hell, it's so feudal and frankly taken directly from paganism, an oppressive scare campaign. A god who is kind does not roast people on fires and let eagles eat their entrails not even under the guise of 'love' and 'good'. Anyway...
great poem, keep up the good work!
I love it. It feeds my soul and rings true to what I beleive in. I love it... I wonder what gave you the idea to write this...