As we hurried after him in a dazed stupor I realized he hadn’t even given us his name. How odd, I thought to myself, trying to remember if there’d been a name plate on his desk, concluding that there hadn’t.
At the end of the hall, when we’d reached the double doors again he made a quick right and then another quick right into the first door, which happened to be a stairwell. He led us up the stairs and then made a left, passing two black doors before pulling out a ring full of numerous keys and sticking one into the keyhole of the third door down.
The door opened silently and the Headmaster stepped aside, inviting us to enter the room. Cautiously I walked through, half-expecting him to touch me again, and I tried to shrink myself as much as possible when I slid past him. He didn’t move, but I could feel his eyes on me the whole way. Atria scurried past him as well and we stood close together, observing the room in a nervous quiet.
Before us lay a small den, with a three-person couch, an armchair, and a T.V. mounted on the wall. Beyond the den to the right found a mid-sized kitchen, complete with fridge/freezer, dishwasher, oven/stove, microwave, pantries, and a double sink. To the left of the kitchen was a large bathroom and closet. On either side of the den were two rooms, four in total. The two on the left appeared to be empty, clean, and lonely.
“These two are yours. Ariel, you should take the one nearest the door,” he suggested.
“Why?” I spluttered.
“Your roommates won’t be disturbed if you have other people coming in and out late at night.”
“Wh-why would I have people coming and going?”
“Oh, I don’t know…” the Headmaster murmured, turning away but letting his eyes linger on me, my body more than anything.
I hung my head, letting my hair hide my face as I cowered and felt my cheeks burn in humiliation at the way he looked at me and his lack of propriety. Atria took notice but said nothing. What could we possibly say in this situation? Finally I gathered my courage.
“Sir, what is your name?” I quietly asked.
“My name is Archer Greystone; Headmaster Greystone, of course. But…” he paused and gave me a knowing smirk, “you may call me Archer when we’re alone together…” I swallowed hard and averted his gaze; his ice eyes burned into me, eating me up and giving off a sly, conceited air.
“The other two are taken?” Atria interrupted awkwardly, trying to divert his attention.
He ignored her for a moment, then finally answered, never turning his eyes away from me as the creepy smile plastered on his face hesitated. “Yes, they are.”
“May I ask by whom?” She quickly replied, stepping toward us.
Pausing again, an expression of irritation flashing momentarily across his face, he moved to confront her. “Their names are Andromeda Burke and Cassiopeia West. Any other questions?” His tone was polite and warm but the vibe his body language gave off was of annoyance and he stood in a slightly threatening manner.
"No, Sir,” Atria stuttered, her face going pale.
“Good.”
“Um, Headmaster Greystone?”
“Yes, Ariel, what is it?” He was instantly looking at me, undergoing a complete attitude change.
“Where is everyone? Why is everything so quiet and still?”
“There was a class trip. All the students and staff went to Romania for the week to see Father Dracula’s castle.”
“Father Dracula?” I couldn’t help but be skeptical of the story. There was little proof that Count Dracula had actually been a vampire, considering vampires were, for the most part, a myth during his days, and they lived completely in secrecy up until the early 1800s. Not to mention, as far as history suggests, Count Dracula’s real name was Vlad Tepes, or Vlad the Impaler, who was killed in 1476.
There’s no way Dracula/Vlad could have survived this long without being discovered. Why would he leave a perfectly good castle? Why would such a powerful, blood-thirsty being go into hiding for centuries? Unless he was in the deep sleep, but I doubted it. He didn’t seem like the kind of person to lay dormant while the rest of the world quarreled; well, according to his history.
“Yes. Is there some issue with that?” Headmaster Greystone growled, seeming to get angry and agitated at my skepticism.
“No, no! Not at all! I love history and would love to see his castle!” I said quickly, forcing my lips to smile.
“Really? Well maybe I’ll take you there sometime. It’s such a shame you came too late. We could have had such fun there, you and I…” he murmured, reaching forward to brush my bangs out of my face.
“I’m-I’m glad you think so.” I backed away quickly and walked into the room he’d suggested for me. Atria cautiously followed, her fear of him increasing by the minute, but I knew she wouldn’t leave me alone with him. Headmaster Greystone brought up the rear, taking slow, measured steps.
“So when is everyone getting back?” I ventured, trying to appear calm.
“Oh, around dinner time tonight, I imagine.”
“Who all has gone with them? How many of the teachers?”
“All, every faculty member. I find that sometimes I quite like the solitude and emptiness of the school. I take pleasure in the silence now and then. But of course, you’re just as much a pleasure as the quiet.”
He seemed to get more creepy and molester-like by the second. It was as if he was determined to seduce me, which was a mortifying thought. “Right… Um, may we go get our bags from my car?” I asked politely.
“Of course you may. Make sure to park behind the west wing of the school as well. Until the rest of the school body returns you girls have free roam, except for the other students’ dorms. The only dorms you have free access to are your own and mine. Any others you must have an invitation in order to enter.”
“But we don’t need an invitation to enter yours?” Atria tilted her head, slightly confused.
“You’re welcome in my room at any time. Your invitation is permanent.” He smiled at us, not ashamed of the way his eyes slid over our figures, mine in particular.
“G-great!” I squeaked.
“Do we get a key to our room?” Atria asked.
“Yes, you do,” he pulled two keys out of his pocket and handed one to each of us. We thanked him nervously and scurried out of the room, almost feeling like he demanded such a respect that we should have curtsied before exiting.
Neither Atria nor I said a word as we walked quickly to my car and moved what little stuff we'd brought into our new rooms after driving to the rear of the school. Headmaster Greystone was nowhere to be seen. Our rooms were furnished with queen beds, a dresser, a desk and a nightstand, and were none too crowded. I wasn’t too excited about boarding school, but at least I’d have a nice, luxurious room to myself. I hoped that our roommates would be friendly.
After setting up and adjusting things to our taste, we headed outside to the barn, both having a silent agreement not to talk until we felt it was safe. We found the stable unlocked and walked in, examining the many horses as we simultaneously directed ourselves to the very last stall on the left. Hoping for a gentle, old quarter horse, or something similar, we entered the stall and crouched down in the back corner, talking in low voices so as not to disturb the small grey Welsh pony we’d intruded upon.
“Oh my god! That guy is a rapist! I can’t believe the way he talked to you and looked at you and - and -“
“Yeah! Serious molester! And we have approximately four hours ‘til dinnertime! It’s just us and him! What do we do if he tries something?!”
“I don’t know! He’s the Headmaster! We have no one to go to but our parents, and they can’t do anything about it! They're all the way in Castlebury!”
“Atria, I’m scared! He has a key to our room! We can’t lock him out! And even if we could he’s so muscular it wouldn’t be any difficulty for him to just break down the door.”
“Oh god, Ariel, you’re so screwed! I hate to say it, but-“
“Well we don’t know that he’ll actually do anything. We just have to hope he’s only acting like this because there’s no one else around to observe him. He probably figures no one will believe us if we tell any of the other students. We just have to make it to dinnertime.”
“What do we do until then?” Atria asked despairingly.
“I don’t know!” I fell into a terrified silence, lost deep in thought until I felt warm breath and whiskers tickle the back of my neck. I absent-mindedly reached up to stroke the pony, and then it hit me. “We’ll go riding,” I proposed.
“We can’t! We’d get in trouble!”
“No, Greystone said we had free roam. As long as we know what we’re doing I’m sure we’ll be fine.”
“I don’t know…”
“Come on, Atria. Would you rather stay here, alone, with him?”
“Well, no, but if we get in trouble we’ll have to be in his office alone with him again.”
“It’s not like we’re stealing the horses. We’re just going for a ride. We’ll be back by dinner of course.”
She paused and considered the ultimatum. “Alright, let’s get out of here.”
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Hi WinterHawk! Here's me for a review!
First of all I have to say that this is a creepy story. I don't like creepy stories but you really pull this off.
The dialogue is just great. There is no jumbly rumbly or weird dialogue. That is the best part. The second best part i like about this is that it gives the characters real depth and individuality without a forceful personality profile. I find that brilliant!
...He seemed to get more creepy and molester-like by the second....
Molester-like. I find that unwieldy. Perhaps a better way to put it would be to say lust-driven? I'm not entirely sure.
...It was as if he was determined to seduce me, which was a mortifying thought....
It might be better to use the term "seemed" instead of "was as if"
Hope you like my suggestions and keep those works coming in!!!
Hi there!
I really liked this. I haven't read the beginning, but I was able to see what was going on.
You put your words together well. I didn't see anything that made me cringe in the way of wording.
That being said, there are a few things that I'd like to address.
I know you're trying to make the Headmaster super creepy. You succeeded. You also succeeded in making me not believe that his character was real. He was so lecherous that it took me out of the world of the story. Tone it down with the creepiness just a little. Not much, just enough so he's not over the top.
The descriptions of the room were not terrible, though I think you should put less description in blocks and slip it in with the action. You could have someone leaning on something you couldn't describe in the initial small description, or something like that. Also, when you were describing the headmaster turning all those corners, I got a little lost. If it's not needed in there, I wouldn't add it in.
Altogether, I like what I've seen. Nice job, and keep writing.
thanks! this is actually some of the best advice I've gotten so far. and yeah, I was wondering about the headmaster and how much creep to add... i'll see what I can take out. feel free to edit my stuff again! =)