A/N: FROM THE POINT OF VIEW OF A FOURTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL AT HER AUNT'S HOUSE.
PART 1 of FIVE: THE GIRL IS SHOWERING AT HER AUNT'S HOUSE.
This night is hot
as the shower burns my chest.
This night is hot,
hotter than the rest.
Weekends at my aunt's,
filled with cheap Swedish food and crochet.
I beg my mom not to take me,
as Aunt Misty is very lame.
Suddenly, as the water hits my feet,
something breaks through the window.
A medium sized creature greets me,
he's dressed like a nun but he has sharp teeth.
This is no dream.
PART 2 of FIVE: A VAMPIRE BREAKS INTO HER AUNT'S HOUSE.
"You're a vampire!"
I yell in fear.
"I'm a jesuit too" he replies,
"don't hit me".
"I'm not Chinese"
and we laugh the night away.
PART 3 of FIVE: LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT (BUT WITH A JESUIT VAMPIRE :DDDD)
We stare into each other's teeth
as we try to be quiet.
It's a very romantic moment,
like something off of Seinfeld.
We smile, we laugh,
until he tries to bite my NECK!
NOT MY NECK!!!!!!!
PART 4 of FIVE: HE TRIES TO ATTACK HER, FILTHY JESUIT VAMPIRE MONSTER
I punch him
and he swirls and swirls into the sky
like a mixed ice cream cone
smashed onto cherry pie.
My heart breaks,
tears instantly fall down my cheeks,
and my world collapses,
all the pipes break/leak.
I'm not dead yet"
and he bites me with lust
as strong as an Army vet.
It was hot
and he holds me in his arms.
We dance until the sun shines again,
where there are no stars.
PART FIVE OF FIVE: TRUE LOVE
He disintegrates into dust,
and everything I know is a lie.
As time passes like a tornado,
I sit down and wait for the sun to set again
for my Jesuit Vampire to rise from ash
and greet me in the shower again.
MORAL OF THE STORY: EVERYTHING YOU KNOW IS A LIE. YOUR LIFE WILL CRASH DOWN, YOUR WIFE WILL LEAVE YOU, YOUR BOSS WILL FIRE YOU BECAUSE APPARENTLY "NOT SHOWING UP FOR SIX DAYS STRAIGHT" ISN'T ALLOWED, YOUR HOUSE IS ABOUT TO FORECLOSE, SOMEONE TAKES YOUR CREDIT CARD SO NOW YOU HAVE NO FUNDS, YOU CAN'T SEE YOUR KIDS, AND NOW ALL YOU DO IS PLAY CLASH OF CLANS ON YOUR IPHONE YOU'RE ABOUT TO LOSE AND WRITE POETRY ABOUT LOVE YOU'LL NEVER RECEIVE.