I live in a glass beach house.
I wake up nude so those on the shore
can see a crude scene
right under a smiling face
and two thumbs up.
It's like a Pollock painting.
It's beautiful yet bland,
except for the fact that
the moon makes an appearance
at eleven in the morning.
A kid throws a stone
so I throw a book back.
The door goes first,
then the walls,
then finally the roof.
There I stand with multiple glass shards
lodged into my body, and a copy of
the Communist Manifesto lying on the sand.
People stare,
so I smile back.
Was it karma?
I doubt it.
Good thing I never paid for plumbing
because that kid is going to be surprised
when he opens his lunchbox.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,008 Literary Works • 672,827 Reviews
Hi Stranger, Felistia here with a review on your poem.
Firstly happy review day.
Now on with the review. I find this poem a little confusing, like really confusing. The poem seems a bit all over the place and doesn't really make sense. It is hard to figure out what it is about, because it doesn't really give any messages or descriptions. The punctuation and grammar is perfect though and it has a good rhythm. The whole thing just needs a bit of work in my opinion. Never stop writing and I hope you have a great day\night.
???
Interesting work of art Stranger!
Complex to understand straight away but pretty good when message
was unveiled and revealed out after several attempts. Well I see no one has
done a review so let me be the first.
One thing I couldn't understand was the 3rd stanza. I was like 'what?!'. Confusion
altogether. Did you mean the subject in this poem threw the door, walls and the freaking roof out to the boy? Or did the stone that the boy/subject threw hit all the mentioned house parts?
I use to love poems with rhymes and rhythm but this might be a poetry revolution for me. Thanks to you stranger! This poem must have took an army of thoughts and imagination. Well structured from scenic to satisfying ending. Choice of words was sick! (awesome I mean).
Keep up the spirit of quality poem production (LOL looking for encouragements)!
Cheers!
LIES
Now, this doesn't make any sense.
"You must not understand the joke..."
YES