The Adventure of seven

by Whatabook

Published January 19, 2016

E - Everyone Language

In Adventure of 7

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CHARACTER PERSONALITY 

Joy -Rocky, Smart, Cool, Strong, Adventure

Susie- Cool, Sporty, Smart, Awesome one, Nature loving, Naughty, Adventure 

Sydney(Syd) -Tom boy, Sporty, Smart, Awesome, Cool, Naughty, Adventure 

Peter -History & Science Lover, Strong, Smart, Adventure 

Mickey- Studious, Joyful, Strong, cool, Basket ball lover, Adventure  

Crystal- Girly, Barbie lover, Scared 

Grace -Girly, Barbie lover, Scared 

Supporting

King (caretaker) -He is the caretaker of the seven brothers & sisters

Ferb -He is the cousin of first five 

Robert -He is the cousin of first five 

BRIEF SUMMARY

7 PEOPLE WERE GOOD FRIENDS. THEY ALL WERE HAVING THERE COLLEGE LIFE. THERE WAS AN ATTACK ON THEIR WORLD BUT THE CARETAKER SEND'S THEM TO HUMAN WORLD. HOW WILL THEY KNOW ABOUT THE TRUTH. THE PURPOSE FOR WHICH THEY THEY ARE BORN.

One fine day........

All seven friends were walking in their college garden..

Peter: Guys!! there is something I want share with you.

Mickey: What? Hurry up.

Peter: Never mind. Its only a thought.

Mickey: What?? I cant hear you.

Peter: Guys!! hey Guys!! I think we need to stop now.

Susie: We are almost there. the gatekeeper is fast on us. we need not stop now or we will be in great trouble.

Mickey:She's right. We have to get there fast.

Peter:ok!!!

[They reached their meeting place]

Mickey:Peter carry on .

Peter:Guys,i am thinking of going for a trip as we have all got our holidays .

Joy:Hey,are u mad that stupid principle will never let us.

Syd:Even i want to go .I am getting bored.

Susie:ya,even me.

[So,all decided to go for a trip .Syd and susie took the responsibility of the principle who's name was KATHRINE MORIDEVIL .All were scared of her because she was like an evil ghost ]

syd:peter get ready .Bring me the chemical which takes the person to parallized position.

Peter :Ok!!

[The next day the news came that the principle was in bed .All were happy and thanked syd and susie]

Mickey:Lets go!

Susie :But how will we get there ?

Joy:As u all know i have got a good place in the film society .The directer has gifted me a ship.

Syd:Can't u say it first !

Joy:Sorry!!!

[All got ready with their bags ]

Comments & reviews · 3
User avatar
KaiRyu
Comment
KaiRyu commented Comment · Feb 4, 2016

This is freaky... My name is Kathrine and I've people tell me that I sometimes look like a ghost...

What are you saying I don't understand plz tell me in detail

KaiRyu replied · Feb 10, 2016

My name is spelled like that and I'm really pale so people tell me that I look like a ghost. I honestly think that is creppy...

User avatar
cpedro
Review
cpedro wrote a review Review · Jan 31, 2016

Hello Whatabook, here for a review!
Ok so even though you do say this is a summary I still don't quite get the general idea of you story. It all seems a little bit all over the place (please don't be mad at me!). You present a scene written like a script and because of that the reader doesn't get much information about the story or even about the world where they live. They do live in a different world, right? Or did I get it wrong? They will be sent to the human world, that's what you wrote first.
Try to spend a little more time on this summary because this will serve as an incentive to the reader to continue to follow your story. So if you could give out a little bit more to the reader and give it a more narrative style and not so much scripted you would have a perfect summary.

Hope I could be of any help and hope to see you improve!
Keep writing!

Random avatar
themanofstars
Review
themanofstars wrote a review Review · Jan 31, 2016

The story has strong base and hope.
Some tips that can make it much better.
You should avoid writing the character's personality as readers like to have their own thoughts and discover it.
There were grammatical mistakes that we all do so let me point them out.
In the character's personality you have written "adventure" but it will be "adventurous"
In the brief summary you have written "they" twice and you should avoid writing sentences in capital as long as it's not completely necessary and here it was not.
"i want share with you" the first dialogue will be "i want to share with you" and there were some places where you have written everything in small and some things should have started in capital.
And the last thing you should give readers more as i found it too short and i was curious too about what happens.
Wish we had the paralyze potion thing.
Keep writing as it improve us.

Plz read the second part write EPISODE 2: THE ADVENTURE OF SEVEN Thank you for the review



Proud people breed sad sorrows for themselves.
— Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights