Hi! I'll be reviewing your poem today
I like how you've strongly put across your opinion into a poem of peace being non-existent to you. You've put your anger towards it well. But i'd suggest just some minor changes to it.
Firstly, your sentences are quite long so you should cut them so they're shorter for presetation purposes, otherwise everything flowed together.
I think you should re-arange the start to, your second part of the poem, the first part about the cancer and last breath should be the closing, it seems like more of an ending.
E.g.
Does peace exist?
Why would someone invent
such a word if no one was ever
meant to prove its existence.
"Move on" is an easy term to use,
when you can't.
I think by writing I will make the
pain go away.
But everything I write makes the
pain even greater.
It's like a cancer eating me slowly,
knowing it cannot be stopped and
bullying me 'til my last breath.
Maybe something like that? Out of curiostity what lead you to the conclusion there's no such thing as peace? Explain that more in your poem.
Overall great poem! Hopefully this review was of help to you.
- Infinity
Points: 9869
Reviews: 116
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