Summer, 2015
Dear Perdu,
How could you send me away? The world was crumbling at our feet. Instead of staying together, you forced me away. People were rising from the dead and killing. I was scared, and you left me with one thing—your promise. Perdu, you promised that you would find me. Where are you now? You always had to be the hero. I needed you, and you left me. It has been four months since I've seen you, left with nothing but hope you will fulfill your promise. Three days ago, I heard you were gone. The only reason I kept going is gone forever. I hate you. I hate that you left me to survive in this lonely world. I hate that I still love you. How could you die? I always thought it would have been me. Maybe it should have been. You left me in this isolated world filled with dead cannibals, expecting me to endure all of this pain. The pain I went through is something you will never understand. I hate that you made me love you. I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you so much Perdu.
I want to say I will never forgive you, but I do. I forgive you because I don't want to live in this world either.
Yours, Ayla
End of chapter
Continue to next chapter Letter Two. Ayla's POVPoints:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,197 Literary Works • 672,505 Reviews
Hi! I hope you enjoy the first chapter of the story! I just like to share that Perdu is French for lost and Ayla means light in the darkness aka moonlight!
I feel like you used the phrase "I hate you" a lot. Maybe try something else, like "I loathe" or "I despise." Just a tip. This letter doesn't give me much information about what's going on but I guess that kind of stuff might be included in the next letters. Overall, this letter is about average. It's good, but it could be better.
Hello! Hop here with a review! Please give me a little grace, I am not the best at reviewing but I r try my best!! Thank you so much for understanding and lets get into the the review!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In all honesty, I don't know if this is the first thing I was supposed to read, but oh well. Too Kate now.
Okay, first, I love how this is like a letter. I find that so satisfying. From what I understand, Show's potential lover sent her off to protect her from the zombie apocalypse and then he ended up dying and she found out. That is so heartbreaking.
I can almost feel her saying these words. I can feel her crying and being angry and then realizing its hopeless. Just, j love this shlrt story in more ways than one. I don't even know how to express it.
Please keep up the good work and stay amazing!!!!!
P.S.:
I love your profile picture so much. Its adorable.
Love,
Hop
Ouuu this is really cool! It feels like a passage that one might find in a video game (another zombie-like game like Last of Us, Resident Evil, etc…)
I like how the letter is truly written like this is a character in a world. “Zombie apocalypse” doesn’t need to be mentioned because this is the character’s reality. Ayla seems to have been saved(?) by Perdu, leading to his death. I love the crossing between love and hate. Ayla loves him enough that she can’t even live without him. I wonder if this is a combination of grief and love?
Great formatting as well! Things are quick and succinct enough to evoke the right emotions out of the reader. Have a good day and keep on writing!
Hey Walker!
Oooh this is such a unique way to begin a zombie apocalypse story! Well done!
So in summary, Perdu left Ayla four months ago with the promise that he'd be back and would find her again. It ended up being the last time Ayla ever saw him - three days ago she learned that he was dead. She's in emotional shambles now and doesn't know how she can move forward without him.
I love that I learned all that piece by piece, through the lens of Ayla's heartbreak. It's honestly pretty impressive that the text here manages to convey so much - the setting, the situation, the relationship between two characters - in such a short time.
It makes sense that Ayla would have to let things simmer for at least three days before she was able to pull herself together enough to write this letter. She's moved beyond the stage of denial at this point and is firmly in a state of anger ("I hate you. I hate you so much Perdu.") and this letter feels like a way for her to get all those angry emotions out.
The line "Three days ago, I heard you were gone" tells me that there has to be another person in this equation that Ayla learned this from, unless it's from a radio broadcast or something like that. She doesn't say "I found your body" or anything like that.
The word "lonely" is an interesting choice here. It stood out to me because when I think of the zombie apocalypse, I don't think of it being lonely - I think of it being bloody, dangerous, primitive... things like that. So the fact that Ayla chose "lonely" here tells me that this is what she's suffering from the most. Makes sense in the context of the rest of the letter!
Maybe this should be "undead" cannibals?
Great job! Please tag me when you post the next letter/part!
Wolfi