Watching People Fall in Love

Inspired by Conan Grey's song, "People Watching"

Text Version
Couples with sparks in their eyes. Seeing nothing else
but their partner, their everything.
What does that feel like? To love so deeply that if
They left this world, it’d be impossible to get up the next day.
To run into their arms after being apart so long.

I’m surrounded by people in love.
Holding hands, waists— any body part they can reach.
Rings on fingers, kids in strollers, wrinkled smiles after years went by.

I want love. To love and be loved.
To feel those electrified touches in the dark. To kiss and caress
every inch of another person’s body in the dark. To explore
what I’ve only experienced from written words and videos for general entertainment.

When will my time come? Lock eyes with someone and know deep down,
“He’s the one.”
When will I see nothing else but the man I will spend eternity with?
But until then, I will watch through the window.

Hey there, friend! Ellie, here, stopping by to leave you a review for the fantastic poem of yours! Let's jump right into the review, shall we?

First Impression Of The Poem: Right away, I recognize this poem as your submission from yesterday! I agree, it was absolutely lovely to read, so I'm so glad that you actually published it so that I can spend time giving you more in-depth review. My first impression, is that this poem is about exactly what your title says! It talks about watching other people fall in love, while you desperately crave that affection for yourself. It seems like you were questioning if you will ever be able to be loved by someone, so the poem is filled with a lot of doubt and emotions that you were processing at the same time. I noticed that this poem has some dialogue to, almost like inside thoughts. That was pretty cool! I love the layout of the poem, and I love how some of your lines are longer, while some of them are very short. So my first impressions, was that it was very well organized and written well.

Imagery: This poem was very narrative, in the way that it is a lot of internal reflections, instead of external descriptions. So, there were not a lot of physical images that came into my head, but you do paint this romantic scene very well. For example, in this part:

Couples with sparks in their eyes. Seeing nothing else
but their partner, their everything.
What does that feel like? To love so deeply that if
They left this world, it’d be impossible to get up the next day.
To run into their arms after being apart so long.

I can see this very well. It feels like a romance movie, honestly. I can picture these two people deeply in love, holding each other. That's one thing that I really love about this poem. They're not a lot of descriptions of the sky or stars or colors or smells or tastes. But, you use such powerful words that paint such a familiar scene. This is something that a lot of us know, or have seen before, whether in books or movies. Or even in our real lives. Fantastic work with us!

Flow: I like how every stanza starts with a simple phrase. For example, these verses below:

I want love. To love and be loved.
To feel those electrified touches in the dark. To kiss and caress
every inch of another person’s body in the dark.

You start with such a simple phrase, "I want love". It's so simple, but combined with the rest of the poem, it becomes extremely powerful. The simplicity seems to reflect your mind, as you have these desires and longings to be held and loved and cared for. I found out the poem, flowed quite well. We go from one thought to the other, but there is still disconnection and common theme, amongst all of the words that you say. Lovely work with that.

Clarity: It was very easy for me to follow along with this poem. I think this is because you included some dialogue, lines, like, for example, when you talk about wanting to be able to look at someone and say "he's the one". I found this poem to be very relatable and simple, which is what kept me engaged. Your formatting and lovely font was also also very pleasant to look at, so it didn't seem overwhelming to read through the entire thing. The simplicity, lovely and heartfelt words kept me engaged the entire time, which also made it very clear and easy to read. Fantastic work!

Emotion: The last thing I wanna touch on is your emotion. I can tell how personal this is, as it felt like a very strong narrative. I can really see how this is inspired from this song, so lovely work! The emotions were powerful. One thing that I loved about this is how you made it so incredibly relatable to everyone who reads it. Because wanting to be loved is such a human and universal experience. You use some specific examples, like wanting to lock eyes with someone and fall in love with them. These small little actions really bring us back to the present and remind me of my own personal memories from my life. Phenomenal work.

Conclusion: Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed this poem. You have lovely organization, and I found the emotional impact to be incredibly strong. I hope that you keep on writing, and have a fantastic day!

Your friend,
Ellie

Young Writers Society

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